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3.05 President Evil

Written by: Jonathan Moskin and David Mulei
Directed by: Nick Marck

Original Air Date: 31 October, 2006
Transcribed by Inigo.
Last edited: 13 November, 2006

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars...

Veronica walks towards Nancy who is leading the Take Back the Night rally in 301 "Welcome Wagon."

NANCY: How many women like me have to be raped, have to end up like this, their heads shaved...

Cut to Parker at the end of the episode. She is standing anguished and bald in front of a mirror as Veronica and Mac look on in shock.

NANCY: Before this administration listens to our demands?

The speech from 301 "Welcome Wagon" continues, but the scene cuts to the demonstration outside the Pi Sigs fraternity house in 304 "Charlie Don't Surf."

NANCY: Shut down the fraternity houses!

Veronica faces Parker in her and Mac's dorm room.

VERONICA: I will find out who raped you, Parker. That's job one.

Fern checks her phone during the radio debate in 303 "Wichita Linebacker."

FERN: They raped Claire. [with air quotes] The blonde in the middle?

Dick visits the Mars family home in 304 "Charlie Don't Surf."

DICK: That girl Claire gets raped after one of our parties and suddenly school's all in a bunch. We need you to do your Veronica thing and prove it's a pack o' lies.

Veronica shows the Pi Sigs the ATM picture she recovered, showing an apparently drugged Claire, her hair not yet shorn, in the company of an Asian youth.

VERONICA: This photo was taken the night she was raped.

DICK: Who's that dude? It's not one of us.

VERONICA: Precisely. You Pi Sigs have exactly one Asian member, and that's not him.

End previously.

[305/0041.jpg]INT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY.

Veronica waits on a bench under a poster for Moliére's Tartuffe. Students emerge from one of the college rooms next to the bench. One of those students is Claire, immediately recognisable by her shaved head. On spotting her, Veronica leaps up and walks along with her.

VERONICA: Claire, hi. Can I talk to you for a minute?

CLAIRE: You're that girl, the girl who made a scene in the quad. You cleared the Pi Sigs.

VERONICA: Yeah, that's me.

CLAIRE: So, what's this to you, anyway?

VERONICA: Crimes against women? It's a hobby. Plus, a friend of mine was one of the other victims.


Their walk has taken them out of the building. They pause between a table set up to host a "Pumpkin Sale" and a scary scarecrow erected in a flowerbed. Veronica brings up an envelope she has been carrying.

VERONICA: Listen, I have the ATM photo from that night.

CLAIRE: Of the guy who did this to me?

VERONICA: Too soon?

CLAIRE: Probably. What the hell, right? I mean, if it saves someone else.

Veronica slides the ATM picture out of the envelope. Claire takes it and examines is for a moment.

CLAIRE: I have no idea who this is. I'm sorry.

VERONICA: You don't have to apologise.

CLAIRE: This guy, I guess he made me pull my daily max off my ATM card. I got raped and I paid for the privilege.

VERONICA: There's a logo or something on the guy's t-shirt. Can you read that?

[305/0142.jpg]Claire looks and shakes her head and returns the picture.

CLAIRE: I'm just completely useless today.

VERONICA: [whispering] It's okay.

Claire walks away as Veronica peers at the photo.


Veronica is in her Criminology class. Timothy Foyle stands in front of posters attached to the board, all giving various information on fingerprints.

TIMOTHY: Morning, all.

He sets out his papers before addressing the large group of students.

TIMOTHY: Dr. Landry has been called as an expert witness in the State v Wolpert case that I'm sure you're all tracking.

Veronica is distracted, casting glances at the door and at her watch. Timothy notices.

TIMOTHY: He's asked me to take the class today.

There's a collective groan.

TIMOTHY: We'll continue with our oral presentations. Now, let's see. Who do I want to hear from?

Timothy waves his finger at the class and chuckles.

TIMOTHY: Veronica Mars, why don't you come down here and blow us all away?

Veronica checks her watch again.

VERONICA: Actually, I'm not-

TIMOTHY: Very well.

Timothy is quick to register Veronica's failure, marking his sheet. As he does so, Weevil enters the lecture room.

TIMOTHY: Moving on-

VERONICA: Never mind. I'm ready.

Weevil waves at Veronica. She checks her watch again and gives him a glare. Cut to a few moments later. Veronica is at the front of the room, behind the lectern. Weevil is standing next to her, facing the class.

VERONICA: Eli Navarro has been in and out of juvenile detention since he was thirteen years old.

Timothy is now on the front row of the students' seats, taking notes.

VERONICA: By the time he turned sixteen, he was the leader of the Pacific Coast Highway Bike Club.

The students are engaged. Weevil winks at one girl in particular, to be called Preppy Girl in the credits. She smiles and drops her eyes.

VERONICA: By his count, he's spent more than seven hundred days in juvenile detention facilities. He's currently on parole after assaulting the PCH gang leader who replaced him.

TIMOTHY: [pompously] Veronica, this was an oral presentation, not show and tell.

VERONICA: Dr. Landry said we were allowed audiovisual aids. He's both. Audio-

Veronica points to Weevil who responds on cue.


The class laughs.

VERONICA: And visual.

Weevil holds out his arms in a "Here I am" gesture to the further appreciation of the students.

TIMOTHY: Fine, I'll let it slide.

Veronica gives his a fairly haughty "You do that" nod before continuing.

VERONICA: Today, I'll talk about the socioeconomic conditions that lead preteens into a life of crime. Then I'll open it up to questions to both myself and Mr. Navarro. Eli Navarro stole his first bicycle when he was six years old.

Cut to the question and answer session. Veronica is sitting behind the desk on which the lectern is placed and Weevil is casually half-sitting/half-leaning on the desk.

WEEVIL: Well, we were at it pretty late, you know, a little too much juice, a little too much smoke.

[305/0332.jpg]The class laughs.

WEEVIL: So, it's like three or four in the morning. One of my boys, Hector, comes in, wakes me up. He's like, "yo, yo, yo, somebody keyed my bike." We find this guy's truck parked on the street, hotwire it, take it to my cousin's shop, 'cause, well, that's where the car crusher is.

The students laugh again, getting the sense of where the story is going. Timothy looks around at them, not at all entertained.

WEEVIL: We end up leaving the cube, the one that used to be his F250, in his driveway with the license plates on top. Found out later we had the wrong guy's truck.

Amidst the laughter, Weevil does a "Duh" gesture and Timothy looks around the class sourly.

VERONICA: Questions?

PREPPY GIRL: Do you think you can ever really leave gang life behind? I mean, once you've been in it that long…

WEEVIL: Promise you won't tell my parole officer?


WEEVIL: I'm trying. I really am. But truth? I- Yeah, I miss it. I miss having cash in my pocket. I miss the thrill.

Veronica shakes her head slightly, smiling.


Veronica and Weevil leave the college building together, walking past a notice board to which has been suspended a web-draped skeleton over the usual notices. Weevil points to Veronica's necklace.

WEEVIL: That's a nice necklace.

Veronica's hand goes to the necklace as she fingers it.

WEEVIL: It's Lilly's, right?

VERONICA: I've been thinking about her a lot lately.

WEEVIL: So, uh, any big Halloween plans?

VERONICA: Oh, you know, the usual: slapping on my sexy nurse duds and rolling tweeners for their chocolate. Meeting the boyfriend at the Benetian after he gets out of his night class.

WEEVIL: The Benetian?

VERONICA: It's Room 332, Bennis Hall. Some guy runs a casino out of his room.

WEEVIL: That's right. You're a card shark.

VERONICA: It's not for me. I agreed to do something he likes - gambling - in exchange for something I like - dressing up and passing out candy to trick-or-treaters. And I'm not buying that as a costume, so don't come knocking. You might want to consider switching shampoos.

[305/0513.jpg]Veronica brushes off a white substance from Weevil's shoulder.

WEEVIL: It's drywall dust, okay? We're renovating the student union upstairs...

Weevil is slightly distracted by the arrival nearby by of Preppy Girl. Veronica clocks his interest.

WEEVIL: And I, uh, I got this stuff in crevices and cracks I didn't even know...Hey, word to the wise. You got a boyfriend? Use the short leash.

VERONICA: As hard as this may be to believe, the women of Hearst aren't close to the top of my worries about Logan.

WEEVIL: Wait, wait, wait. What? You're dating Logan again? After the way he treated Lilly?

VERONICA: This is news? Man, the prison grapevine blows.

Weevil shakes his head and walks off, giving her a look of something akin to disgust. Veronica watches him go, a little taken aback.


[305/0606.jpg]The Mechanical Engineering teaching assistant is handing out marked papers to the students including Wallace. At the front, the teacher paces as he complains.

WINKLER: How best to describe the results of your retest?

Wallace's paper is placed face down on his books.

WINKLER: Disheartening would be a start. An indictment of the U.S. public school system might get closer to the point.

Wallace turns over the paper hopefully. He looks at his grade and his face falls.


[305/0621.jpg]Veronica exits her Saturn and remotely locks it. She is carrying a bag of groceries. She stops to gaze at the rather nice Porsche that is parked in front of her, then turns, smiles, and makes her way into the building housing her father's business.


Veronica enters the office. The door to Keith's office is partially open and Keith can be heard.

KEITH: [offscreen] There's my daughter.

Veronica, presumably assuming he was on the phone, shouts out to him as she puts the groceries away in the small kitchenette.

VERONICA: Hey, Dad. Back from Shangri-La. Hey, look out your window and check out the Porsche. It's four inches into the fire zone. Let's call the city and get it clamped, you know, just for funsies. You get the lawn chairs. I'll put some popcorn in the microwave.

KEITH: [offscreen] Veronica!

Veronica leaves the kitchenette and walks towards his office door.

VERONICA: Seriously, you blow a hundred grand on a car, I guess you think you can just park wherever you want.

She dumps her bag on her desk.

[305/0701.jpg]VERONICA: I wonder if the sense of entitlement came standard.

Veronica finally pulls back the door to reveal Dean O'Dell and his wife sitting in front of Keith's desk. The dean swivels in his seat to respond to her.

DEAN O'DELL: It did. And while we're on the subject of entitlement, maybe someday you can parlay your complimentary $100,000 college education into a lucrative career of your very own. It's my wife's car, by the way. Veronica, have you met my wife?

O'Dell holds out his hand to indicate the young woman, stunning with long red hair, sitting next to him.

VERONICA: No. Has your wife met the hot chick?

MINDY: I believe there's a compliment in there somewhere.

She chuckles.

MINDY: Hello, Veronica.

KEITH: Veronica, why don't you go-

VERONICA: Matriculate myself? Okay.

Veronica exits. The O'Dells turn back to face Keith.

KEITH: You were about to tell me about your ex-husband.


Wallace walks slowly up to the front of the now near-deserted classroom. The T.A. is standing at the front desk, reading something.

WALLACE: Excuse me.

[305/0734.jpg]The T.A. looks up.

WALLACE: Listen, uh, I think I might have dug myself too big a hole in this class. Mind telling me what I need to do to drop it?

M.E.T.A.: Build a time machine.

Wallace does not see the funny side.

M.E.T.A.: Sorry, man. Add/drops ended last week.

Wallace throws back his head in frustration.


Back at the office, Veronica puts the ATM picture in a scanner. She copies the picture onto her laptop screen. She selects, enlarges, and sharpens the Asian youth's shirt. The logo is revealed to be an Indian headdress with the words "Camp Walterloo" over the top.


Veronica taps into Planet Zowie. "Camp Waterloo - Summer Camp - West Virginia" comes up first: "Camp Waterloo, situated in the Appalachian Mountains of West Virginia, provides campers of all ages the opportunity to experience nature in conjunction with self-esteem - 17k." Under that entry are entries for the L. Menendez Correctional Camp facility at Waterloo and a badly spelled section on Klamath County, Oregon. Veronica clicks on the first entry. Camp Waterloo's page appears. At the top left of the screen is the same logo as appeared on the shirt. The menu underneath offers choices: Home, Programs, Dates & Fees, Employment, Register, and Groups. Most of the screen is taken up by the home page text and graphic. At the top, it says, "Camp Waterloo, situation in the Appalachian Mountains of We...ages the opportunity to experience nature in conjunction with self-esteem building." Under that is the large heading, "Camp Waterloo" followed by "Traditional Residential Summer Camp in West Virginia for Boys and Girls ages 7-16 - 1 and 2 week sessions." There is then an address: "7113 Mt. Bursa Road Pineville, West Virginia 24859 (304) 555-0128" and a repeat of the earlier message: "A TRADITIONAL RESIDENTIAL SUMMER CAMP in WEST VIRGINIA for BOYS & GIRLS AGES 7-16. Offering 1 and 2 Week Sessions." The graphic is of a goofy looking kid finishing off a poster on an easel. The poster reads "I" followed by a heart, then "CAMP." Veronica picks up the phone and dials the number on screen. She adopts a Southern accent.

VERONICA: Good afternoon, ma'am, and how are you today?

She pauses as she listens to the response.

VERONICA: I'll tell you what. I'll be sugar and sunshine if you could help me. I am trying to organise a camp reunion, and I was hoping you could send me a roster of the campers for the last five years.

As Veronica listens, she clicks on the camp's programs. A list appears: horseback riding, fishing, canoeing, arts & crafts, climbing wall, theatre, outdoor cooking, hiking, music, water fights, archery, Hobbie Wood, night activities, self-esteem building, and team building.

[305/0839.jpg]VERONICA: Yes, ma'am, I sure do miss it. My backside still smarts from all that horseback riding.

Veronica laughs in a very Dolly Parton kind of way.

VERONICA: Well, aren't you sweet? Uh, just the names, addresses, and phone numbers, if that's not too much trouble. How long do you think it'll take?

Veronica sighs and momentarily drops out of character.

VERONICA: That long, huh?

She quickly recovers.

VERONICA: Nope, can you email that to me? It's veronica.mars and they are based at Hearst College dot org.

Veronica's voice fades into the background as Keith escorts the O'Dells out of his office.

KEITH: I will track him down.

DEAN O'DELL: We appreciate it, Mr. Mars. We don't have to tell you that it needs to happen soon.

Veronica finishes her phone call.

VERONICA: Thank you so much.

She watches Keith as he shuts the main office door behind them and starts to return to his office. She stands.

VERONICA: Do you see why he's the college dean most frequently burned in effigy?

Keith veers in his path to stop in front of her desk.

KEITH: You might want to take it easy on him. His stepson is dying. They want me to track down the kid's deadbeat dad. The boy's dying wish is to meet his real father.

Veronica is suitable chastened.


Music: unidentified. Veronica, dressed as Meg White of the White Stripes, enters the busy dorm room. Everyone is in costume and there's the usual party atmosphere that is associated with the gambling den. She passes a table of poker players where amongst them are two wearing the masks of former presidents: one, Jimmy Carter and the other, Richard Nixon.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: As long as I'm in supportive-girlfriend mode, someone point out the sucker table? Baby needs a new pair of-

In a slightly glitchy continuity moment, Richard Nixon is at the front of the room, punching out the guy standing by the door.

JIMMY CARTER: [offscreen] How you like that, huh?

Nixon pulls out a gun and the crowd gasp. At the poker table, Jimmy Carter is now standing, also holding a gun. He speaks with a heavy Hispanic accent. End music: unidentified.

JIMMY CARTER: There's a bad guy coming through! Better get out of his way.

He joins Nixon at the door. At the side of the room, Mercer, dressed as Alex de Large from A Clockwork Orange, holds out a hand in a "Steady" gesture as many of the others, including Veronica, hold up their hands.

JIMMY CARTER: Okay, everybody, you just take it easy, okay? Now, what you're gonna do is you're gonna give me everything you got.

He holds up his wrist. Both men are wearing white gloves.

JIMMY CARTER: I want the watches, the jewellery, the wallets, everything.

Next to him, Nixon gets a cloth pumpkin-decorated bag out of his jacket pocket and shakes it out.

JIMMY CARTER: And I want you to put it all in Tricky Dick's bag, right over here. Move!

Nixon pushes the bag towards the student closest to him as the rest start to take off their watches and jewellery. Veronica slowly opens her bag. Carter heads for Mercer.

JIMMY CARTER: You! Give me the cashbox? It's in the drawer behind you.

Mercer doesn't move.


Carter shoves the gun closer and Mercer does as bid. Nixon continues to collect the sundry items from the others. Mercer holds out the cash box, which is equipped with a combination lock.

JIMMY CARTER: The combination!

MERCER: You seem highly intelligent and motivated. Figure it out.

JIMMY CARTER: [shouting] The combination or...

He points the gun at one of the people at the blackjack table next to him.

JIMMY CARTER: You're gonna have to find someone new to deal the blackjack, man.

Mercer remains defiant. Carter turns and slaps the corpse-costumed dealer hard enough to throw him off his chair. There's a collective gasp. Carter turns the gun back on Mercer who momentarily remains defiant, but then brings up the box and punches the combination. Meanwhile, Nixon reaches Veronica. She drops her wallet into the swag bag. Carter grabs the cash box from Mercer. Nixon waves the gun under Veronica's chin, wanting the necklace.

VERONICA: Sorry, Tricky. That stays with me.

[305/1059.jpg]Nixon puts transfer the gun to his right hand and reaches out to take the necklace. Veronica bats his arm away. Nixon points the gun at her again just as Carter arrives, having seen her refusal. Carter grabs her by the neck and pushes her into the wall. He points his gun at her head.

JIMMY CARTER: What? D'you think we're playing with you?

He moves his hand down to the necklace which he grips and twists. He rips it from her neck. Veronica gives a small cry.

VERONICA: You're gonna regret that.

Carter just stares at her, nodding. He backs away to join Nixon. They both continue to wave around the guns as they move to the door.

JIMMY CARTER: Say good night to the bad guy.

He grabs the cash box and they leave, slamming the door behind them. Veronica, breathing heavily, her hand on her chest where the necklace lay, stares hard after them.

Opening credits.


Veronica is standing against the wall, fingering the missing necklace, looking seriously pissed off. It's a little later. A campus security officer (Harrison by his name tag) is at the door. One of the students, dressed like Lebowski, heads for the open door where Harrison stands. He grabs the restless student's arm to stop him leaving.

HARRISON: Hey, where are you going?

RESTLESS STUDENT: I've wasted too much time already.

HARRISON: We still have to get statements from everyone. Sit down.

RESTLESS STUDENT: Why? So make-believe cop can make-believe he'll get my stuff back?

The restless student backs away. Harrison does not stop him, but instead turns to another student he was talking to before.

HARRISON: Thank you.

Elsewhere in the room, Mercer is sitting at one of the gaming tables being interviewed by another campus security officer, Sasaki.

MERCER: There's probably ten grand in the lockbox, give or take.

SASAKI: And you expect us to help? We told you to shut this place down twice.

MERCER: Trust me, I don't expect you to help. You asked a question. I answered it.

Veronica sees Logan, dressed as Jack White of the White Stripes, arrive, oblivious. She takes a step towards him.

LOGAN: [a la Mike LaFontaine in A Mighty Wind] Wha' happened?

VERONICA: Where were you?

LOGAN: I was in class, like we talked about. Less gambling, more learning. That was right after you said "jump" and I asked "how high?"

VERONICA: Two guys pulled guns, held up the casino. They took the necklace Lilly gave me.

Logan immediately drops the levity and reaches out for her.

LOGAN: Come here.

He pulls her to him with one hand on her head. Behind them, Lamb arrives with a deputy. He surveys the room from the door.

LAMB: Well, well, what do we have here? An illegal gambling establishment.

[305/1304.jpg]Lamb makes his way into the room.

LAMB: Underage drinking.

He spots Veronica and Logan.

LAMB: Public displays of affection.

Lamb shudders.

LAMB: It's like Sodom and Gomorrah in here. Barker, start collecting IDs from everyone in the room.

Deputy Barker gets out a pen and makes for the nearest student.

VERONICA: Uh, we had our wallets stolen.

Veronica gives him a "Get it?" face and Lamb is momentarily at a loss on this exposure of his stupidity. He is saved from responding by Harrison, standing over Mercer.

HARRISON: The casino's run by this student here. Now, we've asked him to shut it down, but he says-

LAMB: Good work, J.V. Varsity's taking the field now. We've got it from here.

Lamb smiles condescendingly. Harrison swallows his second put-down of the night.

LOGAN: You know, with Scotland Yard on the case, you're sure to have that...

He kisses the top of her head.

LOGAN: Necklace back in no time.

VERONICA: [coldly] Yeah, well, I don't think I'm gonna need their help. Pretty sure I know who did it.


Wallace is studying at his desk. He sighs and shakes his head, struggling. A youth, Mason, leans against his open doorway.

MASON: You posing for the brochure?

Wallace looks up. Mason puts on an officious voice.

MASON: "The dedicated students are the very picture of diligence as they strive to meet Hearst's rigorous academic standards."

He ends with his hand on his heart.

WALLACE: You're enjoying yourself. That's great. I'm happy for you.

Wallace slams shut his book, not amused. Mason walks into the room.

MASON: What's your problem?

WALLACE: Nothing...just that I'm officially failing mechanical engineering, which wouldn't be a problem except I want to be a mechanical engineer. I've always wanted to be a mechanical engineer, and I've...

[305/1413.jpg]He picks up and throws down a file card in frustration.

WALLACE: Never failed anything.

MASON: You need to chill.

As he says "chill," Mason throws out his arms and falls backwards, landing on the beanbag in the room.

WALLACE: I do? Thanks. Good to know.

MASON: Wasn't it En Vogue who taught us all to free our minds, as the rest would follow?

WALLACE: And that means what?

MASON: It means...

Mason points at Wallace.

MASON: We're going out tonight.

Wallace half-smiles.


Keith is in his office, on the phone.

KEITH: Mr. O'Dell, it's Keith Mars. I've got good news. I've located your wife's ex-husband and he's right here in sunny Southern California.


[305/1455.jpg] Dean O'Dell is at his own desk.

DEAN O'DELL: How'd you find him?

KEITH: [on phone] He left a trail of ex-wives.

DEAN O'DELL: And it led you straight to the corner where he was passing out fliers dressed as a cell phone?

The camera continues to switch between the locations.


KEITH: The manager of his rathole apartment let me in his place. One bedroom, lots of Backstage Wests with auditions circled.

O'Dell shakes his head.

KEITH: Apparently he's scratching out a living working as a voiceover actor. I think I've got a plan to arrange a meeting between you, your wife, and Mr. Batando.

O'Dell sinks back in his seat.


Weevil, carrying a toolbox and a small bag, makes his way down an alley to his small apartment. Music: unidentified. He puts down the toolbox and gets out his keys, but before he can select one, he hears a dog barking inside. Weevil takes a few steps back, then bends down to get a heavy wrench from his toolbox. He opens the door and switches on the light. Veronica and Backup are inside waiting for him.

VERONICA: Hope you don't mind. One of the cockroaches let me in. So, where'd you stash my necklace?

Weevil stares at her. Music: unidentified.

WEEVIL: You can let him go. Backup and me, we're old friends.

Veronica is not in the mood. She jumps up from her seat on the couch.

VERONICA: Where's Lilly's necklace?

WEEVIL: Someone left a bracelet in my bed last week. Oh, wait, uh, was it a hoop earring?

VERONICA: I'm not playing with you.

WEEVIL: Don't you get it? I have no idea what you're talking about.

VERONICA: Oh, you don't, huh?

Weevil shakes his head.

VERONICA: [angry] Let me spell it out. I tell you about a working on-campus casino. Six hours later, it's held up by a guy your size wearing a mask who happens to be covered in a thin film of drywall dust and the stench of Drakkar cologne.

WEEVIL: My cologne stinks? So, all this play I've been getting is from pure sex appeal?

She takes a step closer.

VERONICA: You just told my classmates that your old life of crime was calling. You just asked me about Lilly's necklace.

Weevil's own temper starts to rise as he takes a step towards her.

WEEVIL: I can't believe you think I'd do that…to you. After all we've been through.

VERONICA: After all we've been through, can you really blame me?

Weevil drops his head and holds out his hand, deciding not to fight.

[305/1635.jpg]WEEVIL: Yeah. Hey, Backup, you can stay.

He points to the door.

WEEVIL: Your girl's gotta go.

Veronica huffs and fingers the site of the missing necklace before heading for the door.

WEEVIL: It's a wonder you don't have more friends.

Veronica pauses and looks at him for a long moment before finally leaving.


Cliff is sitting on the small couch in the outer office, reading a newspaper. He looks up as the door bursts open. It's Veronica.

VERONICA: I'm here. Whew! Sorry I'm late. Hi, Cliff.

Keith is just coming out of the small kitchenette.

KEITH: You remember the job?

VERONICA: Pretend to be your receptionist. I just wish I had some life experience to draw from.

[305/1659.jpg]Veronica heads for her desk.

KEITH: Clifford, you ready?

CLIFF: [in full voiceover mode] Race fans, hot-rodders, the monster trucks are coming to Neptune, Neptune, Neptune!

KEITH: That's great, Cliff, but just remember-

CLIFF: Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Keith and Veronica laugh.


[305/1707.jpg]Outside, a man carrying a picture of himself and a slip of paper consults the slip of paper before stopping at the entryway to Mars Investigations. Satisfied that he has the right address, he enters, passing a sign that reads "Mars Advertising & Media Solutions."

CLIFF: [offscreen] "Certain restrictions may apply. No video, flash photography..."


Cliff is reading from a sheet of paper, practicing and pacing. Keith is sitting on the couch, holding another sheet of paper. The man from the street enters.

CLIFF: "Or other recording devices allowed without the express written permission of the Monster Truck Association of America. Please drink responsibly."

The man glances at Cliff and Keith as he passes them and makes his way to Veronica's desk.

CLIFF: Certain restrictions may apply.

STEVE: Hi, I'm here for the audition. Steve Batando.

He hands Veronica his picture, which she takes.

VERONICA: Great, I'll take your résumé. Sign in. They'll be right with you.

Steve signs in and picks up one of the "audition" sheets.

KEITH: So, Mickey, you book that Olive Garden gig?

CLIFF: Waiting to hear.

Cliff goes back to practicing.

CLIFF: ...allowed without the express-

An intercom tone on Veronica's phone sounds. She picks up the phone and listens for a brief moment. Cliff stops to watch her as Steve sits on the couch, next to Cliff.


She puts down the phone and calls out to Cliff.

VERONICA: Mickey, they're ready for you.

CLIFF: Someone want to take my turn? I'm still...dialling it in.

Keith turns to Steve.

KEITH: Go ahead if you want.

STEVE: You sure?

Steve looks from Keith to Cliff for approval.

STEVE: Great.

He gets up and heads for the door to Keith's office. He points to it while looking at Veronica.

STEVE: This it?


CLIFF: ....Association of America...

As Cliff continues to practice, Steve reaches the door. Keith's name has been covered over by a sign that reads "Casting In Session." Steve glances down at the script as he opens the door. Inside Keith's office, photos of other actors have been taped to the back of the door, again obscuring Keith's name, and to the Community Protection Award plaque just to the right of the door. Steve steps in to what appears to be an empty office. However, Keith's chair swivels around to reveal Dean O'Dell.

DEAN O'DELL: Steve. Welcome.

Mindy appears from the toilet to the right of Keith's desk and stands by her husband.

STEVE: What the…

Behind him, the door opens and Keith slips in.

STEVE: No, no, no, we're not doing this.

He turns to leave, but Keith blocks his path.

KEITH: You can leave in a minute, but first you're gonna listen.

Steve turns back to face Mindy.

STEVE: Mindy, what the hell is this about, alimony? I mean, is this what you've stooped to?

MINDY: This isn't about money, Steve. I just...needed to talk to you, and I didn't know any other way.

STEVE: No other way?

Mindy glances down at her husband before advancing towards Steve.

MINDY: Jason is dying. He has bone cancer and he needs a bone marrow transplant.

Steve sinks into one of the chairs in front of the desk.

MINDY: He needs you, Steve.

This all comes as a surprise to Keith, who falls back against the wall.

STEVE: How do you know I'm a match?

MINDY: From the paternity test.

Mindy drops into the chair next to Steve.

[305/1841.jpg]MINDY: You are a match, thank God. He needs you. Can you do this? This is your chance, Steve. You can be his dad again. [pleading softly] Do this. Please.

STEVE: You know something? There was a time when I could have been around. I could have been there for Jason, but you kept me away from him. You turned him against me.

MINDY: I did no such thing.

STEVE: And you left me because I wasn't making enough money.

MINDY: I left you because you were lazy, 'cause you wanted everything to come easy.

STEVE: Be careful. Don't forget, you're asking me a favour.

DEAN O'DELL: A favour?

O'Dell rises from Keith's chair and leans over the desk.

DEAN O'DELL: Yes, please, Steve, do us a favour...

Steve slowly rises from his seat to face him.

DEAN O'DELL: And see if you can act like an actual human for three seconds out of your otherwise completely worthless life. You're going to do this. I don't care if I have to break you in half and suck the marrow out of your bones myself. You're going to do this for your son.

STEVE: He's not my son. He's your son.

He points at Mindy, still sitting in the seat next to his, looking tragic.

STEVE: She made that perfectly clear.

He turns and walks out. Keith doesn’t try to stop him. Mindy starts to cry.


O'Dell starts to run after him but Keith subtly blocks his path.


Weevil wipes his forehead with the back of his hand as he heads for his car. He opens the door and sticks in his toolbox. As he does, he notices Logan walking and then pausing by the Range Rover with a girl. Weevil smirks, shuts his car door and walks towards them. The girl walks away from Logan with a smile, passing Weevil.

WEEVIL: Hey, Joe College!

LOGAN: José Lunchpail, the living, breathing embodiment of the American dream.

Weevil, in his Hearst College maintenance overalls, bows.

LOGAN: Punch any clocks lately?

WEEVIL: Are you lining up your next girlfriend? Hmm?

Weevil points in the direction the girl went but before Logan can make any comeback, Lamb pulls up next to him in his car, lights flashing and siren momentarily on.

LAMB: I'm guessing this low rider's yours?

Lamb jerks his head towards Weevil's car. Cut to moments later. Sacks is searching Weevil's car, using a flashlight. Logan is still there, standing next to Weevil.

WEEVIL: Any reason why everyone suspects me for a crime I don't even know anything about?

Sacks pulls out what looks to be a handful of jewellery from the car.

SACKS: Got 'em. They match the robbery description.

Lamb, now leaning against his car in front of Weevil, holds up handcuffs.

LAMB: Yikes.

He walks towards Weevil.

[305/2045.jpg]LAMB: Hey, what do you say we do your Miranda Rights in harmony this time? I'll take lead. You take tenor?

Weevil puts his arms behind his back. Lamb cuffs him and leads him to his car.

LOGAN: Is it still called déjà vu when something happens more than twice, or is that something different? I'll have to look that up.

Lamb gets Weevil into the backseat. Logan leans down to the car.

LOGAN: Ask for cell B. It has the best light.

Lamb and Sacks get back into the car. Lamb picks up his radio but looks at Logan, which makes Logan a little uncomfortable and he clears his throat. Lamb speaks into the radio, still staring at Logan.

LAMB: Hey, good-looking, we'll be back to pick you up later.

The car drives away.


Veronica is reading a magazine, sitting in one of the reception area chairs. Lamb slaps some papers down on the counter and approaches her.

LAMB: Sacks tells me you're here to see Weevil. Planning on helping him beat another rap?

VERONICA: Actually, I'm here to get my necklace back.

LAMB: I don't understand. You actually believe that the bad guy did it?

[305/2142.jpg]In shock, Lamb does the robot.

LAMB: Does not compute.

DEPUTY: Hey, Sheriff's doing the robot again.

LAMB: Does not compute.

DEPUTY: I'll get my camera phone.

VERONICA: You must have been fun in the '80s.

Lamb straightens up and smirks.

VERONICA: So, you get a tip about the watches in Weevil's car?

LAMB: Better. He used a stolen credit card from one of the wallets lifted in the casino hold-up. Charged a pizza from Mama Mia Pizza. Criminal mastermind had it delivered to his own apartment.

Lamb turns and walks away, while Veronica ponders this. Cut to a little later, in the jail cells. Weevil is lying on the bench, staring at the ceiling.

VERONICA: [offscreen] Be it ever so humble.

Weevil looks over as Veronica reaches the bars of his cell.


He sits up.

WEEVIL: I'm thinking of some curtains over here, maybe a koi pond in the corner.

VERONICA: [deliberately casual] Where's my necklace?

WEEVIL: I don't have it.

He stands and walks to the bars.

WEEVIL: It was a frame job, V. Look, a prepaid pizza was delivered to my apartment. I didn't order it. Come on, what's a working man gonna do in that situation?

VERONICA: So, when I look into this, and I will look into this, I'm gonna find out you didn't order that pizza?

WEEVIL: Or you could just save yourself the trouble and take my word for it.

They stare at each other for a moment and then laugh.


VERONICA: That was good. Well done.

Weevil gives her a salute. Veronica drops the smile and stares hard at him before swivelling around and leaving.


Wallace is studying again. There is a knock at the door. Wallace looks up in irritation, deciding to ignore it, and adds to his notes. The knock is repeated. Wallace throws down his pen, slams shut his book and walks to the door. He opens it to Mason and two pretty girls.

[305/2256.jpg]MASON, JESSICA AND CHLOE: Surprise.

Everybody grins, including Wallace. Mason holds up a DVD and a bag of microwave popcorn.

MASON: Redenbacher and The Hills Have Eyes. You remember Chloe and Jessica from last night.

Chloe and Jessica give Wallace little waves.

MASON: Instant party.

WALLACE: You guys, I'm studying.

JESSICA: Study later.

CHLOE: Yeah, Wallace.

JESSICA: Let's have fun.

WALLACE: I can't, y'all.

Mason steps forward.

MASON: I thought you might say that, and that's why I brought you this.

He holds out a post-it note with the name Max written on it, together with a phone number, 555-0123.

MASON: Call this number. It's a tutor.

WALLACE: Is he good?

Mason scoffs.

MASON: Miracle worker. Got me through a course last year, and a hard one.

WALLACE: You're a P.E. major.

MASON: Please. Kinesiology. Feeling better already, aren't you?

Wallace smiles and throws back his arm to usher his guests into the room.


Veronica approaches the counter. She watches as Danny, who is manning the counter, is giving instructions to one of the drivers

DANNY: Listen, take the complex map.

PIZZA DRIVER: All right.

Danny turns back to the front and sees Veronica. His jaw drops.

VERONICA: Hi, I'm looking for the manager. He or she around?

Danny points at her.

DANNY: You're Veronica Mars.

A little surprised, Veronica searches her mind for who he is.

VERONICA: And you're…

She doesn’t find it but does spot his name tag.


DANNY: Rossow. Yeah, I am. Cool. You went to my school last year. I go to Neptune High.

VERONICA: Lucky you.

DANNY: You remember when those bikers taped that guy up to the flagpole and you just walked up there and cut him down?

VERONICA: Yeah. Listen-

DANNY: [with increasing excitement and awe] Remember when you stopped those guys from blowing up the school?

VERONICA: No one was gonna blow up the school. So, what I was going to-

DANNY: On the last day, I really wanted you to sign my yearbook.

VERONICA: Danny, I'm working on a case now.

DANNY: so awesome.

VERONICA: Yeah, it is. It's so awesome, and I need your help. An order went out last night to 1172 Navasota. Do you guys have caller ID?

[305/2431.jpg]Danny glances behind him at a computer screen.

DANNY: Well, we're totally computerized. The order comes in. It logs the phone number. That way, we can answer the phone like...

Danny makes a phone with his fingers and pretends to speak into it.

DANNY: "Mr. Smith, thanks for calling again. Another Pepperoni Lovers for you and the missus?"

Impatient, Veronica just smiles tightly. Danny drops his hand and clears his throat before turning and checking the computer screen. He glances back over his shoulder at Veronica.

DANNY: 1172 Navasota?

Veronica nods and Danny returns to face her.

DANNY: It wasn't a call-in. It was an internet order.

VERONICA: Really? Any way of knowing where the order came in from?

DANNY: Only our manager, Mr. Wolfcastle, can make those requests from our internet service provider, and he's not here.

VERONICA: Any way we can make like he is?

It takes Danny a minute to get what she's saying. When he does, he smiles conspiratorially. Cut to a few moments later. Danny and Veronica are at the manager's desk in the back. Danny is sitting at the desk, on the phone. Veronica is next to him, her elbows leaning on the desk. Danny is speaking in a German accent.

DANNY: Hello, this is Walter Wolfcastle. With who am I speaking?

He pauses a second for the answer.

DANNY: Listen, I need a favour 'cause my hands are full.

He glances at Veronica who nods in encouragement.

DANNY: I need you to track an internet order.

Veronica gives him the thumbs up. Danny half-smiles nervously and nods. He then gets really into the part.

DANNY: Of course I want it now. What? Should I wait 'til Tuesday?

Veronica laughs and Danny nods with greater confidence.


The scene opens on a computer screen, headed Hearst Computing Services. Showing on screen is an email from to The subject is "Your request, madame...." The email reads: "Your IP address is Hope this works! Danny."

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Thanks to my one-man fan club, I now know precisely which computer...

Veronica is staring at the screen.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: The pizza order was placed from, a public Hearst College computer hub just forty feet away from where Weevil was dry-walling.

Veronica looks around her. There are some men working on a doorway where there are signs of recent plastering. Across the busy hall, there is the office of the campus security officers. A little girl is sitting on some chairs outside their office.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: So he stays in the mix. Then again, so do hundreds of people who pass through here every day. Hello, square one. Nice to see you again.

Veronica gets up from the stool only to find that she has sat on a wad of sickly purple bubblegum, which is now on the back of her jeans. She pulls what she can off with a groan.

VERONICA: Oh, lovely.

It sticks to her thumb and she balls it up. She starts to look in her bag, presumably for a tissue, when she spots the little girl, watching her as she blows sickly purple bubbles. Veronica approaches her.

VERONICA: Hi. Any idea how this gum got from your mouth to that chair?

The girl stands up and meets her halfway.

[305/2620.jpg]BRATTY LITTLE GIRL: I thought this was supposed to be a good school. Shouldn't you be, like, smart?

Veronica gasps at the brat's insolence. The girls spins around and walks into the office of the Hearst College Police Dept., as it states on the door.


Cliff is in the kitchenette, smiling at Cliff's tale.

CLIFF: [offscreen] So, speaking of down and dirty, you wouldn't believe the divorce case I've got.

Cliff is in the main office, sitting on the couch. There is a sandwich on a plate in front of him. A couple of open cans of soda are also on the small coffee table. Cliff has a napkin tucked under his chin.

CLIFF: Lady stole from her husband, repeatedly...

In the kitchenette, the microwave pings.

CLIFF: [offscreen] Stole from his children, had his dog put to sleep...

Keith turns to attend to the microwave.

CLIFF: And let the record show the dog was quite surprised by this decision. The woman slept with...everyone.

Keith enters the main office, carrying a small pot of something.

KEITH: And let me guess. She's your client.

They both chuckle. Keith sits down on the chair next to Cliff just as the main office door opens and Lamb walks in with another man trailing behind.

SANCHEZ: Gentlemen.

He points to Cliff.

SANCHEZ: Is this the one?

LAMB: No, there's your guy.

Lamb nods at Keith.

KEITH: Can I help you fellas with something?

LAMB: This is Detective Sanchez with the LAPD.

Sanchez steps ahead of Lamb, putting an "I'll take care of this" finger on Lamb's chest, a gesture Lamb recognises and does not appreciate. Sanchez pulls a business card out of his jacket pocket and holds it out.

[305/2704.jpg]SANCHEZ: Sir, is, uh, this your card?

Keith peers at it from his seat.

KEITH: Yeah.

SANCHEZ: You presented yourself as an Adrian Monk...

As Sanchez reads off the card, Cliff and Keith share an amused glance.

SANCHEZ: A Los Angeles County Building Inspector? And I believe that's your cell phone number written on it?


SANCHEZ: Sir, the apartment complex manager that you handed that to says you ordered him to let you into the apartment of a one Steven Batando.

Keith shrugs and plays the fool.

KEITH: Ordered? Asked politely, maybe.

He laughs. Lamb shuts his eyes and Sanchez isn't laughing. Keith holds out his wrists.

KEITH: Congratulations, boys. You got me.

SANCHEZ: That's a good one, Mr. Mars. But I'm afraid that impersonating a county employee is the least of your problems.

LAMB: Batando's been missing for fifty-two hours. Guess what, Keith? You're the leading suspect in his disappearance.

Cliff looks over at Keith who finally adopts a more serious demeanour.


[305/2752.jpg]There is an establishing shot of the outside of the building, showing off Keith's immediate business neighbours: Kiki Fantastico and her School of Dancing, Completely Video, Nickelodeon Records. Lamb's sheriff's car is parked on the street in front of the entrance.

SANCHEZ: [offscreen] So, Mr. Mars...


Keith is still being interrogated. Sanchez has out a notebook. Lamb tries to sneak a peek over his shoulder.

SANCHEZ: You mind telling us what you were looking for in Mr. Batando's apartment?

LAMB: The man's girlfriend was worried sick. You should have seen her crying, Keith. It was heartbreaking.

Cliff pulls off his napkin bib and stands.

[305/2810.jpg]CLIFF: Excuse me, officers, but if I don't bring up the law, then this won't be considered a billable hour.

Keith, smiling wryly, looks up at Cliff.

CLIFF: Do you plan on charging my client?

Lamb and Sanchez shift uncomfortably, clearly having insufficient to do so.

CLIFF: Great. If you'd like to talk with him further, call my office. I'll set an appointment. My card.

Cliff holds out the card he has pulled from his shirt pocket.

LAMB: I know your number. It's all over the bus benches. "Call Cliff and get off."

CLIFF: Plus, it's a radio jingle.

Cliff starts to sing.

CLIFF: "Call 555-12-"

Neither of the law enforcement officers are amused.

CLIFF: Well, you know the rest.

Keith smiles.

SANCHEZ: We'll be keeping an eye on you, Mr. Mars.

Keith shivers.

KEITH: Brrr.

Lamb and Sanchez leave. Cliff sits back down on the couch.

KEITH: Nice work, Cliff.

Cliff picks up his sandwich and waggles it at him, adopting the slogan from a well-known American TV commercial for Olive Garden.

CLIFF: When you're here, you're family.

Cut to a little later. Keith is on the phone in his office.

KEITH: Okay, thank you.

Cliff is standing by the Obey poster as Keith puts down the phone.

KEITH: Jason O'Dell was discharged yesterday.

CLIFF: You think the dean and his wife kidnapped Batando?

KEITH: It looks that way. They asked him for his bone marrow. Batando said no.

CLIFF: These things tend to end badly, Keith. There's not much motivation to keep the unwilling donor alive. They tend to expire on the operating table. It's tough to press charges when you're six feet under.

Cliff starts loading his briefcase with papers.

KEITH: I'm gonna track down the O'Dells, scare the dean if I can find him. I'm gonna need some help. You still got your researcher working for you?

CLIFF: Yep. Whatever you need.

Keith sighs.


Keith bursts into Dean O'Dell's office where O'Dell is working at his desk.

[305/2928.jpg]KEITH: [angry] Oh, you still in town? You haven't skipped yet? Where's your wife's ex-husband? Where's your stepson?

DEAN O'DELL: Mexico. Just got off the phone with my wife. She took Jason to Rosarito. She won't tell me which hospital, but they're moving forward. Mindy's brother is helping her. I'm gonna lose them both, Keith, my stepson, my wife, all because of that selfish son of a bitch.

KEITH: I'll track them down.

O'Dell stands.

DEAN O'DELL: I'm going with you. You're gonna need to trace her call, right?

KEITH: Probably, yeah.

DEAN O'DELL: How do you plan on keeping her on the line?

O'Dell gets his keys out of his desk.

DEAN O'DELL: I can say half a sentence and get her to yell at me for three hours.

Keith smiles and nods.


Weevil is in his cell, bouncing a ball along his now blanket-free bench to the wall and catching it. Veronica approaches.

[305/3009.jpg]VERONICA: You rang?

WEEVIL: If there was anybody else…

Veronica folds his arms.

WEEVIL: One of the other maintenance guys found the masks used in the hold-up in a dumpster behind Bennis Hall. He found the guns, too. He came to me instead of going to Lamb because he wasn't sure if it'd hurt me or help me. I'm not really sure either.

VERONICA: I can track the ownership history of the guns to see where it leads.

WEEVIL: Yeah, uh...

Weevil gets up from the bench and approaches the bars.

WEEVIL: I doubt that's gonna work. The guns aren't real. They're fakes.

Veronica looks surprised.


Veronica walks along the back of a stage, arriving at a group of four students, all dressed in seventeenth century garb for their production of Tartuffe, are standing silently at the edge of the stage. Veronica stands with them for a moment without their acknowledging her presence.

VERONICA: Uh, excuse me?

The student playing Orgon eventually responds without turning around or taking his eyes off the stage.

ORGON: Yeah.

VERONICA: Can someone point me to the props department?

ORGON: Jenny's props.

VERONICA: Where could I find-

The student dressed as Elmire, also fixated on the stage, responds without looking at Veronica.

JENNY: I'm Jenny. What do you need?

VERONICA: Um…someone held up an on-campus casino using a couple of prop guns.

JENNY: [dismissively] We're the theatre department. We don't do guns.

ORGON: We do Molière. You want a poor man's Tarantino - that would be the film department. If you see them, tell them we just loved their little opening night present.

VERONICA: Which is?

JENNY: Our stage is covered in Pam.

VERONICA: Who's Pam?

ORGON: Pam is a cooking spray.

Veronica looks down at the stage and sees that it is glistening.

[305/3125.jpg]ORGON: We can't walk out there without falling on our asses. We had the temerity to schedule our opening night on the same weekend as their short film festival.

VERONICA: Maybe this is their way of saying break a leg.

The students turn their heads towards her as one and glare. Veronica backs her way out with a theatrical flourish.

VERONICA: Thank you! Good night! Here all week. Try the veal.

She pulls down an invisible curtain.

VERONICA: And scene.

She spins round and exits sharply.


Wallace stops at Max's door. His whiteboard proclaims his name and the message "Do not write here." Wallace hesitates a moment, then knocks. A geeky-looking guy opens the door.

MAX: Yeah?

WALLACE: One of the guys on the team said I should-

MAX: Uh-huh. Instructor and class.

WALLACE: Um, Winkler. Engineering.

MAX: Come in. Close the door.

Max backs into his room. Wallace follows and does as instructed. Max gets some papers out of a filing cabinet.

MAX: Winkler's used the same exams for the past three years.

Max faces Wallace and taps the papers.

[305/3225.jpg]MAX: This file does not contain the exams. It's a study guide. If you want the study guide, it's a hundred dollars. If you want the answers to the study guide, it's another hundred.

WALLACE: It's a study guide, huh?

MAX: Yeah, it's two hundred for the set.

WALLACE: I'll take the guide. You keep the answers.

Wallace gets out his wallet.


The film festival is underway with a showing of the short film The Italian Submarine. The audience claps as it opens on a submarine sandwich. The camera shifts, in the film, to hands opening a cash register. Veronica and Logan arrive.

VERONICA: Find us seats. I'm gonna get us some popcorn and grill me some film geeks.

Veronica looks towards the back of the audience. Logan, instead of looking for seats, is drawn to watch the movie.

LOGAN: Uh, Veronica?


LOGAN: You know that whole life imitates art thing?

Veronica turns to look at him and then follows his eyes to the screen. In the film, two men wearing presidents masks, one of Carter and one of Nixon, are robbing the store. They race to the man at the cash register.

JIMMY CARTER: You ready to screw 'em, Dick?

RICHARD NIXON: Yeah, cover me, Jimmy.

JIMMY CARTER: All right, hands in the air, buddy.

RICHARD NIXON: Stick 'em up.

Veronica stares with her mouth open.

RICHARD NIXON: [offscreen] Give me the money.

VICTIM: [offscreen] Yo, dude, man, all right, man, cool.

RICHARD NIXON: [offscreen] Right now, you see. Right now.

VICTIM: [offscreen] Don't hurt me man!

RICHARD NIXON: [offscreen] And don't forget to vote.

Cut to later. Some students are collecting the chairs. Veronica is interviewing the movie's maker, who keeps glancing over her shoulder.

VERONICA: Loved your movie. Eight millimeter, bold choice.


Logan is sitting behind Veronica, eating popcorn.

VERONICA: So, in other news, an armed robbery was committed with the masks and guns used in your little film. I was hoping you could tell me where I might find those now.

The guy isn't listening. He moves past Veronica to talk to Logan.

FILM GUY: You're Logan Echolls, right? I heard you were going here. Did you ever think of investing in-


[305/3318.jpg]Logan shakes the popcorn. Veronica steps between them and snaps her fingers.

VERONICA: Hey, buddy, right here.

Logan points up at her with his thumb behind her back.

VERONICA: You can schmooze later.

FILM GUY: The guns and the masks were stolen. Our whole equipment truck disappeared a week ago.

VERONICA: Did you report it?

FILM GUY: Yeah, the campus police actually tracked it down. Can you believe it?

The film guy attempts to charm Logan again by sharing his joke with him.

FILM GUY: Rent-a-cops.

Logan gives him a huge fake smile before returning to his popcorn.

FILM GUY: We got all our equipment back. Only thing missing were the guns and the masks.



Wallace is studying again, using the study guide, writing notes frantically. He slows in frustration, clearly not understanding. He writes a little more, then crosses out everything on the page. He throws down his pen, distraught.


Wallace knocks on Max's door. Max opens it. Wallace says nothing. He just holds up $100, fanned out. Max smiles smugly.


A frustrated Keith rounds the corner of a hospital corridor. Spanish can be heard over the tannoy system. Dean O'Dell is following him. Keith looks over his shoulder without stopping.

KEITH: Call her again.

DEAN O'DELL: It's not gonna work.

Keith checks a room to no avail.

DEAN O'DELL: Mindy's not gonna pick up the phone. And I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can't trace a phone call if the person on the other end won't pick up the phone.

O'Dell shakes the phone in his hand uselessly. Keith's own cell phone rings.

[305/3421.jpg]KEITH: Cliff?

As Keith listens, his frustration increases.

KEITH: Thanks, Cliff.

Keith drops the phone, positively gargoylish in his facial contortions. He spins round to face O'Dell.

KEITH: You've got him at Sisters of Mercy in San Diego. Mindy's uncle's an oncologist there.

DEAN O'DELL: Do you expect me to apologise, Keith? He's my son.

KEITH: How'd you get Batando admitted? You bring him in unconscious?

DEAN O'DELL: What choice did he leave us?

Keith can't believe it and storms off back the way they came.


[305/3509.jpg]The Mechanical Engineering class is taking their test. Wallace rises from his seat and walks towards Winkler, sitting at a desk at the front of the room. Winkler looks up, a little surprised. Wallace drops two paper booklets onto Winkler's desk. Wallace turns and walks away. Winkler picks up one of the booklets, opens it and starts to read. As he does, his brow furrows. He stares in the direction Wallace left.


Veronica and Backup approach a small blue bungalow. She knocks on the wrought iron screen. Harrison, the campus policeman, still in his uniform although his shirt is unbuttoned, exposing the white t-shirt underneath. Veronica waves. Harrison comes towards the door, but spots Backup and doesn't attempt to open it.

HARRISON: Who are you?

Veronica puts her hand around her neck.

VERONICA: Come on, you remember me. I'm the girl whose necklace you stole. It's got sentimental value. I want it back.

HARRISON: I see. I'll take two boxes of the Thin Mints and some Lemon Coolers.

VERONICA: You can keep all the gambling money, everything else. I don't care. Just give me my necklace back, and-and we'll be cool.

HARRISON: Wow, that's some hard-core salesmanship. You're good. Uh, tell you what. Throw in a box of the shortbread.

VERONICA: You and your partner robbed the casino.

She points at Harrison.

VERONICA: You did all the talking because of Sasaki's accent. As security officers, the criminal records of all new employees cross your desk. You decide to pin your crime on the new ex-con maintenance guy you see every day just outside your office. This also explains why you were covered in drywall dust.

She points at him again.

VERONICA: You knew about the casino. You even tried to shut it down a couple times, but those spoiled college boys didn't listen to you.

[305/3617.jpg]Harrison laughs in bemusement.

VERONICA: I'm guessing you got the idea when you found the masks and prop guns in the film department van.

Veronica puts on a broad Hispanic accent.

VERONICA: D'you theenk I meessed anyting?

HARRISON: Well, one thing. Proof.

VERONICA: Not quite true.

From her bag, Veronica pulls out a plastic bag containing the presidents masks.

VERONICA: Look what I have.

HARRISON: Prints? The witnesses said the hold-up men wore gloves.

VERONICA: Yeah, but you wouldn't believe how much hair is inside these masks. It's kind of gross, actually. It's like a sack of DNA. So, I'll trade you. This bag for my necklace.

Harrison glances back into the house, then furtively checks the street. He makes to open the screen and grab the bag, but Backup growls as soon as his hand nears the door.

HARRISON: I'll need a day to get your necklace back.

VERONICA: Yeah, that's not gonna do it.

Both react to the sounds of a siren, Veronica's in mock-shock, Harrison's genuine.

HARRISON: What did you do?

Veronica smiles, shrugs and pulls up from her shirt a small microphone. She goes Hispanic again.

VERONICA: Say hallo to my leettle friend.

Harrison knows he is caught.


An establishing shot of the hospital leads to...


Keith striding through the door. O'Dell is right behind him, pleading.

DEAN O'DELL: Keith, please. I'm begging you. Keith, for God's sake, just hear me out.

KEITH: I've been hearing you out since Mexico. I'm done, Cyrus. This game is over.

DEAN O'DELL: It's not a game. You need me to get on my knees, I'll get on my knees. You stop that operation, that's it. My son's dead. He's nine years old. You go up there, he dies.

KEITH: If I stay down here, I'm partly responsible for another dead man.

[305/3753.jpg]Having arrived at the elevators, Keith turns and faces the dean.

KEITH: The only way you and your wife get away with this is if Batando dies.

Keith punches the button for the lift.

DEAN O'DELL: We're not gonna let Batando die. That's not the plan, I swear.

KEITH: Then you, your wife, and your wife's family members who helped are going to prison for a very long time.

DEAN O'DELL: And Jason will live. Small price to pay, don't you think? What would you do if it were Veronica?

This gets Keith's attention.


Lamb exits Harrison's house, #3028. Veronica is waiting.

VERONICA: Find my necklace?

LAMB: Nope.

Veronica sighs heavily.

LAMB: But we found a dozen other items, couple Rolexes, dozens of credit cards. These are the guys. Maybe the other one has your necklace. We have a car on the way over there right now.

They both hear a vehicle pull up and look.

LAMB: Oh, look, someone tipped off the local news. That's my cue.

Lamb walks past Veronica to talk to KSVU 9, but turns back to impart a few words of wisdom in Veronica's ear.

LAMB: Do you see how well this works when you play by the rules, Veronica?

Veronica isn't interested, still stroking the place where the missing necklace should be. Music: "Busted" by Johnny Cash.

LYRICS: My bills are all due and the babies need shoes
But I'm busted
Cotton is down to a quarter a pound
And I'm busted
I got a cow that went dry and a hen that won't lay
A big stack of bills that get bigger each day
The county will haul my belongings away
I'm busted
The food that we canned last summer is gone
And I'm busted
The fields are all bare and the cotton won't grow
Me and my family's gotta pack up and go
Where I'll make a livin' the Lord only knows
But I'm busted

Lamb carries on to the reporter and camera.

REPORTER: Hi, Sheriff Lamb. Can you comment on...

Veronica turns and walks back to her car. She starts the engine but pauses when she sees a school bus arrive. She slowly puts on her seat belt, watching the bus. It drives away, having deposited the bratty little girl, who has stopped in front of her father. Harrison is in handcuffs, in the charge of three deputies. He's kneeling in the grass to talk to his daughter. They both look in Veronica's direction. The two male deputies take Harrison away. The brat starts walking towards and screaming at Veronica. Veronica watches her closely as she approaches the car.

BITCHY LITTLE GIRL: You think you're such a big deal, but you're so not.

[305/3911.jpg]Veronica punches the button that rolls the window down.

BITCHY LITTLE GIRL: You did this. You set up my daddy, you stupid cow. Go back to Hearst where you belong. You come into this town and treat everyone like dirt.

Veronica reaches out of the window, grabs the necklace the brat is wearing and rips it off. The girl gasps and puts her hands up to her throat. She examines it to confirm it is hers and without a glance at the brat, rolls up the window and drives away.


Wallace opens the door to his room. His face falls, although he doesn't seem surprised to see the teaching assistant. He holds out an envelope.


The teaching assistant leads Wallace into the lecture room where Winkler is waiting. Wallace walks to him slowly.


The door to Weevil's cell is slid back. The deputy holds out a paper bag. Weevil grabs it and leaves.


[305/3936.jpg]Jason O'Dell lies in a hospital bed. He is on breathing equipment. Dean O'Dell and Mindy stand over him. O'Dell puts a comforting arm around Mindy.


Lamb is in his office, going through papers. On screen appears the words "One Week Later." End music: "Busted" by Johnny Cash. Keith knocks on the door.


Lamb looks up and sees Keith come into his office, followed by Steve Batando.

KEITH: Meet Steve Batando. I believe you were looking for him.

Lamb puts down the paper he is examining.

[305/3955.jpg]LAMB: [sceptical] You're Steven Batando?

STEVE: I want to apologize for-for causing so much trouble. I mean, I had no idea people were looking for me. I just went, you know, camping for a week and-and didn't tell anybody, left my cell phone. I mean, I can't believe I caused all this fuss. It would be funny if it wasn't so, almost, I mean, you-you know-

LAMB: Ridiculous?

STEVE: Yeah.

Lamb looks up at Keith who maintains his innocent look.


Keith and Steve exit the Sheriff's department.

STEVE: You tell my ex-wife I own her now. No more talk of alimony, no more child support. We're beyond even.

KEITH: It's been made very clear in the documents you signed.

[305/4041.jpg]Steve stops at Mindy's Porsche.

STEVE: Nice ride, huh?

KEITH: Think of it as a Father's Day gift.

Batando climbs into the Porsche. Disapproving, Keith watches him drive away.


Veronica is at the same computer at which Danny sent her the information about the pizza order. Computer Lab Rules are attached to the back of it. On screen, Veronica pulls up her email. She has emails from Wallace (snickerdoodleme? :D), Keith (Paco's Tacos run for dinner? My treat), Mac (Re: Fwd: Truth in Conspiracy Theory), some junk "Invest Now" mail and a note to confirm her change of password. She gets a new email, from Camp Waterloo, the subject being the Waterloo alumni list. Veronica smiles in satisfaction.


Veronica and Logan are walking down the street. Backup is with them.

LOGAN: What makes you think this is the guy?

VERONICA: The fifth victim, Claire, was caught in an ATM photo the night she was raped, clearly already roofied, but still with her hair. She was with an Asian guy.

Veronica points to the house they are coming upon and they veer towards the front door.

LOGAN: So we're knocking on the doors of every Asian guy in San Diego?

VERONICA: This guy was wearing a Camp Waterloo shirt. I got a list of everyone who went to the camp in the past five years. There's only one Asian male in Southern California. This is his house.

Veronica knocks on the door. She glances over her shoulder at Logan.

VERONICA: Look tough.

LOGAN: Always.

The door is opened by a non-Asian youth in a baseball cap. He looks at her expectantly.

[305/4151.jpg]VERONICA: Hi, is Wang Yi here?

BEN: Sorry, he's at class now.

VERONICA: When will he be back?

BEN: Why?

Veronica holds out the ATM photo of Claire.

VERONICA: Because he raped this girl.

BEN: Claire? I doubt it.

VERONICA: You know her?

BEN: Yeah, she's Wang's girlfriend.

Veronica looks down at the photo and back at Ben, shocked. End. Executive producer Rob Thomas.

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