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3.02 My Big Fat Greek Rush Week

Written by: Diane Ruggiero
Directed by: John T. Kretchmer

Original Air Date: 10 October, 2006
Transcribed by Inigo.
Last edited: 15 October, 2006

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars...

Kendall appeals to Keith in 222 "Not Pictured."

KENDALL: I need you to do something for me.

She opens the briefcase she has laid on his desk. Keith's eyes widen as he looks at the contents that we don't see.

KENDALL: It's important.

Keith races into the cabin in 301 "Welcome Wagon."

KEITH: Kendall!

Keith freezes as Cormac fires two shots into one of the inner rooms, moving only when Cormac turns the gun on him. As he runs outside, he trips, hurting his leg. Keith crawls behind a rock. Cormac can be seen in the distance at the door of the cabin.

CORMAC: [offscreen] I'll come and pick up your carcass in the morning.

At Hearst College, Veronica and Parker meet for the first time.

PARKER: I'm Parker.

VERONICA: Veronica.

Mac gives Veronica the low-down on her roommate at the Take Back the Night rally.

MAC: She's a one-woman red-light district.

Veronica finds Mac sitting on the floor outside of her room.

MAC: Parker's in there with some guy.

Having snuck in to the room in which the sounds of sex are heard, Veronica grabs the tickets in the dark.

VERONICA: Don't mind me.

Veronica and Mac jerk awake at the sound of Parker's scream. Parker stares in the mirror in horror at her shaved head. In a new piece of footage, not shown in 301 "Welcome Wagon," she screams out in anguish.

PARKER: Someone raped me!

Veronica is stunned. End previously.


Parker is sitting cross-legged on her bed, sobbing and recounting what she knows to a female deputy, sitting on the bed with her.

PARKER: Last thing I remember, I was at the Zeta Theta rush party. I don't even remember how I got here. I just...I woke up and I was all like...out of it. And I didn't have clothes on.

Parker starts to cry in earnest.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: The thing about being roofied and raped? You may not remember the who, when, where, or why, but you know the what.

Veronica and Mac are sitting on the small couch on Mac's side of the room, watching quietly.

MAC: [flatly] I have "There's Gotta Be a Morning After" stuck in my head. If I start singing, kill me.

VERONICA: The rapist was there when I came into the room. I could have stopped it.

MAC: But you didn't because I told you she was a floozy. It's a proud, proud day for both of us.

The sounds from his radio precede Lamb's arrival into the room. He looks first over at the couch. He smiles maliciously when he spots Veronica.

LAMB: Tell me I'm here because of you. Not that I'm counting or anything, but isn't this wolf cry number two?

Veronica isn't fazed, instead smiling at the inevitability of Lamb being an utter ass. The deputy approaches from behind Lamb.

FEMALE OFFICER: She's in here, Sheriff. Same as the others. Head shaved. She doesn’t remember anything.

Lamb turns back to Veronica for a parting shot.

LAMB: They always say that.

He heads over to Parker's bed as Veronica gazes at him in disgust and shuts her eyes at the memories he's evoking. Lamb sits next to Parker's bed.

LAMB: How are you doin'? Rough night, huh? So, um, around what time did you get back to the dorm? Nine, ten, eleven? Just give me a window.

PARKER: [voice trembling] I don't know.

Veronica takes a deep breath and rises from the couch. She approaches the middle of the room, towards Parker and Lamb.

VERONICA: It...the rape...occurred at 11:45, give or take a couple minutes.

Lamb and Parker stare at her. Veronica presses on uncomfortably, her arms wrapped around herself defensively.

VERONICA: We had these movie passes. I...came in the room to get them.

LAMB: You were here. You saw her.

VERONICA: The light was off. I didn't see much.

Lamb rises from the chair next to Parker's bed and approaches Veronica.

LAMB: Well why the hell didn't you turn them on?

VERONICA: Because I heard noises.

LAMB: Noises.

VERONICA: Like breathing. And buzzing.

LAMB: Buzzing. Like an electric razor?

VERONICA: Yeah, I guess, but at the time, I...thought it was something else. It turned off the second after I came in the room.

LAMB: What exactly did you think the buzzing was?

Lamb's enjoying Veronica's discomfort, attempting to force her to say "vibrator."

VERONICA: Something else, okay? Just...something else.

PARKER: Oh, my God. You thought...?

VERONICA: I thought i-it was just sex. It-it didn't occur to me that it was against your will.

PARKER: Thanks, Veronica!

[302/0304.jpg]Parker jumps out of the bed to face Veronica.

PARKER: Thanks for thinking I'm the slut of the world. You let this happen!

Parker runs past her, out of the room. Veronica calls after her.

VERONICA: Parker, I can't even...I'm s-

Parker's gone.

VERONICA: [to herself] So sorry.

Opening credits.

[302/0420.jpg]EXT - DESERT - DAY.

The sun beats down. Keith is walking, using a long stick as a cane as he limps heavily. His breathing is ragged. There's a sudden snap, and Keith stumbles forward without the stick. He walks back. The stick is caught in an animal trap and is cracked about six inches from the bottom. The broken part remains attached to the stick when Keith lifts his makeshift cane from the ground. Keith jerks at it to no avail.

DR. KINNY: [offscreen] As long as there has been war...


A man is standing at a lectern. Behind him on the blackboard is written "Intro to Sociology. Dr. Kinny."

DR. KINNY: ...and prisons and soldiers and orders, there has been torture.

Wallace is listening carefully.

DR. KINNY: You don't think it was invented by a handful of rednecks on the fly in Iraq?

Dr. Kinny brings up a slide on the large screen above the blackboard. It shows one of the notorious pictures of Iraqis tortured at the hands of American soldiers.

[302/0439.jpg]DR. KINNY: It's always been here. I guarantee the great George Washington and his Continental Army indulged in this sort of behaviour with the British redcoats.

Logan is also in the class, more bored than attentive.

DR. KINNY: We just had to sit around a couple hundred years for someone to invent the digital camera to show us what we're really capable of.

Dr. Kinny clicks to bring up another picture, of a female guard holding a leash attached to a prisoner.

DR. KINNY: Show of hands. Who of you saw this photo from Abu Ghraib and thought, "I would never do that to another human being"?

Wallace puts his hand up, as do a majority of the students. Logan doesn't.

DR. KINNY: You think it's cruel and awful and unconscionable. But guess what? Of all of you who have your hands up, only two, maybe three of you are right. In other dreary news, you have a twenty-page research project due at the end of the term about the effects of imprisonment and torture.

As Dr. Kinny lets light back into the room after the slide show, there is a collective groan from his audience of students.

DR. KINNY: There's an alternative. I'm conducting an intensive study on the prisoner/guard relationship in which volunteers are assigned those roles. If during the 48-hour experiment the guards are able to extract from the prisoners some arbitrary piece of information, they are exempt. But if the prisoners manage to keep their secret, they are exempt.

No one responds.

DR. KINNY: Fine. I'll sweeten the pot. The losing team still must do the paper, only ten pages. Any takers?

A few hands appear. Wallace tentatively raises his hand. He looks over at Logan, who has his hand raised too. Wallace smiles.


Wallace walks through the open door of his room. Veronica is lying on his bed.

WALLACE: Got your message.

Wallace drops his books and sits on the small couch in his room.

[302/0600.jpg]WALLACE: What you up to?

Veronica has her eyes closed and her fingers on her temples, as if suffering a headache.

VERONICA: Turning my unbearable guilt into steely resolve. I think it's working.

WALLACE: Well, you've had plenty of practice.

VERONICA: Yeah. Good.

Veronica pops up to a sitting position, lively again.

VERONICA: Done. I'm gonna catch the rapist and see him crucified.

WALLACE: Don't think they do that anymore.

VERONICA: First things first, I have an interview with the newspaper. Word is they actually pay for photos in college.

There's a knock on the door and Moe walks in.

MOE: New safety rules for the dorm. You guys heard about last night? The rape?

WALLACE: Yeah, we did.

MOE: I really thought things were gonna be better after the last incident, you know? Like how the safest time to fly is the day after a plane crash? There's a floor meeting tonight. Look for ya.

WALLACE: I'm not gonna be around. I'm doing this experiment for sociology.

MOE: Dr. Kinny? I did the experiment last year. It's pretty intense.

He goes into a bit of a reverie.

MOE: It's

Moe turns and walks out. Veronica and Wallace stare after him, and then at each other.

[302/0704.jpg]EXT - DESERT - DAY.

Cormac is also walking in the desert, but with more energy than Keith, not least because he is carrying a large bottle of water over his shoulder. He pauses to examine a footprint in the earth. He smiles. Somewhere ahead of him, Keith, clearly exhausted and without his stick, limps forward. He sees a ridge, and there's a hint of a smile. He struggles up the small, steep bank to the railroad track at the top.


An attractive African-American woman with short hair is at a desk in a cubicle, flipping through a portfolio of photographs as she speaks on the telephone wedged between her ear and her shoulder.

NISH: She's a great writer but can you see her blending in at a sorority? Uh, they're not big on Doc Martens and unibrows.

As she stands, she laughs at the response.

NISH: Call me back.

She hangs up the phone, still intent on the portfolio.

NISH: These? Are great.

She exits the cubicle which, according to the piece of paper and in box stuck at the entrance to it, marks the working space of one Ashley Frohling, Operations Manager. (So Nish is a nickname?) She joins Veronica, waiting outside the cubicle, and then carries on walking. Veronica stays at her side.

NISH: This other freshman gave me like a hundred pictures of his grandmother sleeping.

VERONICA: Was she hot?


Nish laughs.

VERONICA: I'd take any assignment. If I don't get this job, the fine people in financial aid have a completely undesirable position in the library all picked out for me.

Nish stops on one particular photo and pauses, holding it out to Veronica.

[302/0804.jpg]VERONICA: Yeah, she's picking a wedgie...

The picture is of three Neptune High cheerleaders taken from behind. Two of the cheerleaders are in the air, in mid-straddle jump. The third, closest to the camera, has her hand up under her skirt.

VERONICA: ...and she ain't got no alibi.

NISH: Can I tell you how happy this makes me?

VERONICA: She TP'd my house in the tenth grade. Makes me happy, too.

Veronica touches the picture with something approaching affection. Nish closes the portfolio and strides to a large filing cabinet. From the top of it, she takes down a stiff poster. She appears to read from it.

NISH: Welcome to the home of Theta Beta.

She passes it to Veronica.

NISH: What do you think?

The poster is in Season One Veronica colours - pink and green. At the top is the heading "Fall Rush." Under that is a crest with the Greek letters zeta, theta, and beta in a column. At the top of the crest is what looks like an Aladdin's lamp. On either side of the column of Greek letters are two pictures - a chilli pepper and the top of the Empire State (or similar) Building on the left and, on the right, an inverted top of the Empire State (or similar) Building and what looks like a box of files. At the bottom of the crest is a ribbon banner with "Zeta Theta Beta" written on it. Under the crest is a photograph of the sisters of the sorority - all dressed in the same floral dresses they will wear later.

VERONICA: I think it's the gateway to hell, and I don't want to keep looking directly at it.

She hands the poster back to Nish, who sets it back on top of the filing cabinet.

NISH: Veronica, I have a perfect assignment for you. You've probably heard about the rape spree on campus. There was another last night, a freshman girl, her name's Parker something.

Veronica drops her head.

NISH: She was at a sorority party at the Theta Beta house.

VERONICA: You think the sorority had something to do with it?

They start walking through the maze of cabinets and partitions again.

NISH: You wouldn't believe the rumours about what goes on in that house. I've been trying to find someone who could get inside Theta Beta during Rush Week, do a "Behind the Greek Curtain" exposé.

VERONICA: And you want me to take pictures?

NISH: I want you to do the story. You are exactly the type they would love to have [em] intelligent, cute...

VERONICA: Combative, independent-thinking, smart-mouthed. Believe me, I'm not their type.

NISH: You'd be perfect. Trust me Veronica, you'll blend right in.

Nish hands Veronica back her portfolio and walks on with a huge smile on her face. Veronica doesn’t move and is not convinced. Cut to a few moments later. Veronica is reading the sorority invitation: "Zeta Theta Beta cordially invites you to Fall Rush Social this Saturday. Dress code: tasteful floral dresses, beautiful personalities."

VERONICA: Tasteful floral dresses?

She lets out a sigh (of near relief at the prospect of not doing this).

VERONICA: All my florals are trampy. Seriously, I don't have a thing with a flower that's not in a tube-top or hot-pant family.

NISH: A couple things about Theta Beta. The parties are notorious of nothing but free-flowing booze and boys and totally against school policy.

VERONICA: Alcohol at a sorority party? Doesn't exactly sound like news.

NISH: According to reliable sources, four of them, the Theta Betas get pledges all liquored up, take them to a secret room and have them undress while the guys from their brother fraternity watch the show through a two-way mirror. Now if this Parker girl was there-

Veronica holds up a finger.

VERONICA: You had me at "secret room."


Mac slowly gathers her bag and walks to the door, looking gravely over at Parker, who is still in her bed.

[302/0952.jpg]PARKER: Looks like you'll have a room all to yourself.

MAC: I will?

PARKER: My parents are driving in from Denver to take me home.

MAC: Oh.

PARKER: They never wanted me to go away to school. Well, my mom didn't. She said I was too immature to be on my own. Guess she was right, huh?

MAC: It might be best, you know? To be with your family.

PARKER: [voice quivering] Yeah. You're probably right.


Music: "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" by Maurice Chevalier.

LYRICS: Thank heaven for little girls
For little girls get bigger every day
Thanks heaven for little girls

Veronica, dressed in white heeled strappy sandles and a red and white floral dress, walks down the street. She is carrying a large red handbag and is wearing a white Alice band in her hair.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: What's really worse: getting girls to undress in front of a two-way mirror or getting them to dress like a '50s vacuum ad first?

Veronica climbs the stairs of Zeta Theta Beta. A number of other girls, all in floral dresses or skirts, are standing on the steps chatting, although they all make their way into the house just before Veronica.


As she enters the house, Veronica sees six sorority sisters on the inner staircase, lined up like dominoes. End music: "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"by Maurice Chevalier. The girl at the bottom sounds a pitch pipe.


The girls on the stairs start to sing Cyndi Lauper's "True Colours."

ZETA THETA BETA CHOIR: You with the sad eyes

Veronica can hardly believe what she is seeing. The choir continues to sing under the subsequent dialogue.

[302/1054.jpg]ZETA THETA BETA CHOIR: Don't be discouraged
Oh, I realize it's
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours
True colours
Are beautiful like a rainbow
Show me a smile, then,
Don't be unhappy
Can't remember when-

A chirpy blonde appears in front of Veronica.

HALLIE: Welcome to Zeta Theta Beta. I'm Hallie. What's your name?

VERONICA: Veronica.

Hallie writes on a heart-shaped sticky name tag.

HALLIE: Oh, my God. I used to have a little Shih Tzu named Veronika.

Hallie presses the name tag onto Veronica's chest. Cut to a few moments later as Veronica makes her way further into the house. She is met by another blonde bimboish sort.

SHANIA: Hey there, Veronica. Hm, great dress. I just need to take your purse.

VERONICA: I'm sorry?

SHANIA: Don't worry. We're not gonna steal anything. It's a house thing.

Veronica hands over her handbag.

SHANIA: So you ready for your first Theta Beta experience?

VERONICA: I'm trembling.

Shania waves Veronica into a large room, full of floral-dressed girls being decorous.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Yes, I'd like a boy, a bottle of hooch, and you can fast-track me to the dirty room so I can get the frak out of here.

Veronica looks around critically. Her name on the name tag is spelled "Veronika." Hallie reappears in front of her, holding up a glass in one hand and a jug in the other.

HALLIE: Lemonade?

Veronica grins and nods her head enthusiastically.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Worst Roman orgy ever.

The choir's rendition of "True Colours" ends and there's a time shift for the choir is now in a corner of the large room, this time with a filked version of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot," which again continues - loudly - under the dialogue.

Coming for to carry me home
Zeta Theta Beta
Coming for to carry me home
I looked over campus and what did I see
Coming for to carry me home
The Beta sisters coming after me
Coming for to carry me home
If you get there before I do
Coming for to carry me home
Tell all my friends I'm coming, too
Coming for to carry me home
Zeta Theta Beta
Coming for to carry me home
Zeta Theta Beta
Coming for to carry me home
Coming for to carry me home

Veronica is on a couch, sandwiched between Shania and Hallie. She is holding her glass of lemonade. Plates of actual sandwiches, crusts removed, are in front of each girl on the coffee table. Shania and Hallie have something red in their glasses, which are also on the table. Veronica's head bounces back and forth between the two of them.

[302/1150.jpg]HALLIE: I am so completely not even lying. Theta Beta is the best house.

SHANIA: It is. We have so much fun.

HALLIE: So much fun.

SHANIA: It's really like we're all sisters. Oh, and Becky's father...

Shania points to a brunette sitting on another couch, talking to other invitees.

SHANIA: a dermatologist and he totally hooks us up. You even think you're getting a zit and you swing by - cortisone shot and you are golden.

HALLIE: And we have a tanning bed.

MARJORIE: Fill her up?

Veronica, suffering a surfeit of sugar, looks up gratefully as the red-head who stands the other side of the coffee table.

VERONICA: [with fervour] Yes.

Marjorie, the red-head, fills the glass in Veronica's outstretched hand.

VERONICA: Any chance this one's got a little kick to it?

MARJORIE: Sorry, no booze. Them's the rules.

Marjorie glances over at the choir.

MARJORIE: But the farther you are from the singing, the less you'll crave intoxication.

Marjorie gestures for Veronica to join her, away from the choir. Veronica rises from the couch and they walk out of the big room together, into the hall.

MARJORIE: Last week they tried to change the lyrics to "Macarena." I almost impaled myself on the banister.

She laughs.

MARJORIE: I'm Marjorie, by the way.

Marjorie holds out her hand. Veronica takes it and they shake.

VERONICA: Veronica.

Veronica checks her name tag.

VERONICA: Oh, with a C. Um, what's up with the whole purse thing?

MARJORIE: I think you'll find out soon enough. Trust, sister, trust.

Marjorie glances back at Shania.

MARJORIE: And don't let her scare you away. Love her to death but she kinda looks at Rush Week as shopping for someone to borrow things from.

They are joined by a slim older woman carrying a plate of cookies.

KAREN: Shania? She's harmless. A one-track mind but a heart of gold.

MARJORIE: Gold? Really?

KAREN: All my girls are wonderful.

The woman proceeds into the main room.

MARJORIE: Karen's our den mother. She gets paid to say that. Truth is, we're all incredibly lame but we're like family. The trade-off is you have to wear a matching dress occasionally.

She smiles warmly.


Dr. Kinny leads a number of students into an unused dorm wing. The walls are covered in sheets of plastic.

DR. KINNY: See what a little ingenuity and an unused dorm wing can get you?

He talks as he marches them along. In one hand he has a notepad. In the other, he holds up a couple of sheets of paper.

DR. KINNY: These are the rules of the Neptune Conventions. My T.A. and I will be close by to make sure you adhere to them. You'll notice the cameras throughout our prison. You'll be monitored at all times.

The first couple of students behind Dr. Kinny are indeed a couple.

JULIA: [whispers] We should have done the paper.

OMAR: It's gonna be fine.

Dr. Kinny rounds a corner and stops halfway down one of the corridors. He turns to face the group, which includes Wallace and Logan.

DR. KINNY: Everyone whose Social Security number ends in an even number, step forward, please.

About half the group steps forward, including Wallace and Julia.

DR. KINNY: You are the guards. The rest of you are now the prisoners.

Logan's surprised to find himself a prisoner. Behind him, the T.A. starts to dish out striped t-shirts.

DR. KINNY: Let's go over the rules. Sleep deprivation is okay. Any other kind of physical abuse is not okay. Prisoners are required to get a certain number of calories per day, and to ensure that the food isn't inedible, one guard must eat a sample meal before the prisoners are forced to eat theirs....

Time passes. By the time Dr. Kinny gets to the end of the Neptune Conventions, all the "prisoners" are wearing their stripped shirts, and all the "guards" are in combat-green t-shirts.

DR. KINNY: Prisoners are not allowed to use cell phones, computers, watches.

Wallace is collecting the contraband. He reaches Logan.

LOGAN: Well, I hope you enjoy writing your paper. We'll never crack.

Logan takes off his watch.

WALLACE: That so?

Logan nods and drops his watch in the box Wallace is carrying.

LOGAN: Um-hm.

WALLACE: Side bet?

LOGAN: Loser streaks across campus?

WALLACE: I'm gonna enjoy watching you do it.

[302/1410.jpg]Logan drops his cell phone into the box.

LOGAN: You would.

Logan holds out his hand and they shake on their bet.

WALLACE: It's on.

DR. KINNY: Prisoners, come with me, please.

Dr. Kinny leads the prisoners away from the guards. Once they are all separated from the guards, Dr. Kinny holds up his notebook for the prisoners to read: "The bomb is located in the mail drop box at the corner of 116th Street and Jamison Boulevard."

DR. KINNY: This is the information the guards want from you. If at any time you want the experiment to end and to just go home, all you have to do is tell one of the guards this information.

LOGAN: Or click your heels three times.

Some of the prisoners chuckle, although Dr. Kinny doesn’t react. He turns to face the guards.

DR. KINNY: Guards! A bomb will go off in 48 hours. You must get the location of the bomb from a prisoner to ensure the safety of innocent people. In exactly 48 hours, 6:02 pm Sunday...

The guards look up at the clock on the wall.

DR. KINNY: ...the experiment will be over.

Dr. Kinny exits. His T.A. stays, observing. Everyone stands around for a few seconds before one of the guards, Rafe, takes charge.

RAFE: Prisoners. In your cell.

The prisoners don't respond.

RAFE: [shouting] IN YOUR CELL.

Even the T.A. is startled by this. The prisoners stare at Rafe but first one - Julia's boyfriend, Omar - and then the rest enter one of the rooms off the corridor. Wallace and Julia share a glance at Rafe's actions. The prisoners walk into a large room furnished with a few bunk beds. Logan is behind Omar.

LOGAN: Well, I hope you're cool with this. I'm planning on calling you Nancy.

Omar chuckles and heads for one of the bottom bunks. He stretches out on it.

RAFE: No beds.

Rafe barks instructions to the other guards.

RAFE: Take them apart. Put the mattresses in the guards' room.

ONE OF THE PRISONERS: Oh, come on, man.

Sitting up, Omar reaches into his bag and takes out a textbook.

RAFE: No books either.

OMAR: Chill out, man. I've got a test on Monday, and I've got to get some studying in.

RAFE: Fine. Tell us where the bomb is, you can go study right now.

Omar doesn't respond. Rafe looks at Julia and another female guard, gesturing them forward.

RAFE: Take their books. And their bags.

The girls step forward, Julia going straight to Omar. As she takes his book, she whispers to him.

JULIA: Sorry.

SAMUEL: Hey, um, where's the bathroom in this place?

RAFE: You'll all be using the bathroom together. There will be three breaks a day. Eight hours apart.

SAMUEL: But I have to go now.

RAFE: What's your name?

SAMUEL: Samuel Horshack.

RAFE: No! [mockingly] There-there's no way you're that short, smell that bad, and have the last name Horshack. Like, how did you not kill yourself in high school? You want to use the john? Tell me the address.

SAMUEL: Come on, you're not serious?

RAFE: You know, I'm looking around, I'm thinking the Jew or the fat chick will crack first.

WALLACE: [uncomfortably] Hey, man.

RAFE: What? You'd rather be politically correct than prevent hundreds of people from dying? Take it seriously, bro.

Rafe walks out of the room. Wallace follows.

WALLACE: You're going to need to watch that...bro.

Rafe giggles.

RAFE: Sorry, man. Just playing the part, you know? Let's just do this thing, get the hell out of here, right?

Rafe walks on. Wallace stares after him.


Cormac trudges along the side of the railroad track. He pauses when he sees a pen sticking up from the ground. He walks towards it, but before he reaches it, the sound of metal on metal fills the air and Cormac screams. He goes down, his leg caught in the animal trap. Cormac writhes in pain.

[302/1704.jpg]EXT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY.

Veronica heads for her car.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Cucumber sandwiches and lemonade. I'm really going to blow the lid off sorority malfeasance.

She opens the car door. There is a large bunch of flowers on the driver's seat. Veronica lifts them out and reads the card out loud.

VERONICA: "You have been selected to attend a special private party tonight 10 pm. Dress to impress. Respectfully, your sisters at Theta Beta."


On the ground, past the discarded animal trap, footsteps follow a trail of blood. It leads to Cormac, who is lying on the ground, his right leg mangled. He's used all his water and seems to be asleep, although he responds quick enough to the voice.

LIAM: How's it hangin', my brother?

Liam stands over him, holding up the pen, laughing.

LIAM: Ahh, ouch. That looks painful, but it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as being betrayed by your own brother.


LIAM: Yeah, I thought we had a deal. I take care of your trashy girlfriend, I get a cut of her cash.

[302/1758.jpg]Liam puts his foot on Cormac's injury. Cormac screams.

LIAM: Where's the money?

CORMAC: I don't know!

Liam pulls out a gun, pointing it at Cormac's head.

LIAM: [dangerously] Do you know now?

Cormac, his arms held up over his eyes to shield them against the burning sun, begs.

CORMAC: Look, Liam, I found some cash, but most of it is missing. I don't know what she did with it.

LIAM: You know this is going to be the last time I ask you, right?

Liam crouches down.

LIAM: Dondé está [shouting] MY MONEY?

The gun is pressed against Cormac's temple.

CORMAC: [desperately] It wasn't there.

LIAM: I don't get it. Mom always liked you best.

Liam's face is contorted with hate. A shot rings out. Further ahead, Keith doesn't react to the sound of the shot, staggering along the railway track, seriously dehydrated. He stops at the welcome sight of a town in the distance.


Veronica is dressed in a tight pencil skirt and a jacket with a low-cut top underneath.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: I'm not exactly sure what "dressed to impress" means but if I'm going to spend my night singing campfire songs and drinking cocoa, I'm thinking this will work.

She climbs the steps up to the entrance of the house.


On first entry, the house seems deserted, although there are the muted sounds of a party going on. Veronica creeps in as the sound is enhanced by the clop-clop of heels hurrying down the stairs. Shania, dressed scantily, races over to Veronica.

SHANIA: I am so excited you're here.


Shania leads Veronica to the sliding doors to the large room.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: I guess "dress to impress" meant dress like your favourite Pussycat Doll.

Shania opens one of the doors. Music: "In Tha Den" by Brad Ormond.

LYRICS: Watch your friend, we can do it again
Watch the kid, we can do it again
Slow, slow, we can do it again
In tha den, we can do it again
Watch your friend, we can do it again
Watch the kid, we can do it again
Slow, slow, we can do it again
In tha den, we can do it again
I need somebody to love
I want to be the one for you, baby
I need somebody to love
I want to be the one for you, baby

There is a serious party going on.


Hallie appears in front of her, holding up a filled shot glass.

HALLIE: Pantydropper?


Veronica grins and takes the glass.

VERONICA: Aren't you having one?

HALLIE: Oh, I'm having more than one. So what do you think?

Hallie gestures at the party in front of them..

VERONICA: Awesome!

Hallie grabs her arm and leads her into the room.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: What do I think? I think I'd sooner drink Mark McGrath's bathwater than drink anything here.

Behind Hallie's back, Veronica pours the Pantydropper into a large cup of beer. As Hallie looks over at her, Veronica pretends to have just downed it.

HALLIE: Brodie!


A shirtless boy, decorated with a collar and bow tie, approaches them with a tray of drinks.

HALLIE: Pantydropper.

Veronica puts her empty glass on the tray and Brodie leaves to fill the order. Hallie leads Veronica further into the party.

HALLIE: The Pi Sigs are our brother fraternity. They bartend for our rush parties. They're, like, the nicest guys.

VERONICA: Yeah, I hear they're super-sweet.

HALLIE: I hope you don't have a boyfriend. There are so many cuties here. Like newbie legacy behind you.

They pause. Behind them is the naked back of another of the bartenders for the night.

HALLIE: Lost Wilson brother.

Veronica turns to look at him just as he turns around. It's Dick. He shakes his head in disbelief. Veronica silently curses the gods.

DICK: You look exactly like this chick from high school.

Veronica turns on her inner Valley Girl.

VERONICA: Oh, my God! What are you doing here?

[302/1956.jpg]She reaches up and gives him a hug.

DICK: [very confused] Fulfilling my destiny. It's a sorority party. It's why I left the womb. What are you doing here?

HALLIE: Veronica's rushing, and we love her.

DICK: Somewhere in a parallel universe, Bizarro-Dick is being a total killjoy-

To stop him, Veronica grabs his cheeks and squishes his mouth in faux affection.

VERONICA: Oh, you are so cute.

HALLIE: Come on, let's get you another drink.

Hallie pulls her away to a table of drinks. Veronica lets out a relieved breath. Hallie hands her another Pantydropper. Marjorie joins them.

MARJORIE: This is why we take your purses. So we can leave invitations to the secret party in the dorm rooms for girls we want to get to know better. But we had to get creative with you.

Marjorie laughs.

VERONICA: Yeah, that's cool.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: It means that anywhere here had access to Parker's room.

MARJORIE: You should meet Chip, president of the Pi Sigs. Chip!

Marjorie calls out to the back of a guy. He turns around. It is the same Chip that Veronica met in the Pi Sigma Sigma fraternity house in 216 "The Rapes of Graff."

CHIP: Yeah?

MARJORIE: This is Veronica. Tell her Theta Beta is the best house on campus.

CHIP: This girl accused me of rape last year.

Veronica laughs.


She hits him.

VERONICA: God. Learn to take a joke.

CHIP: Huh.

Chip wanders away and Veronica is relieved. End music: "In Tha Den" by Brad Ormond.


The sheriff of Kretchmer County and his deputy exit from his office. There's a sheriff's vehicle parked outside and they head for it as they talk.

SHERIFF CLAPTON: Well, just put that jalopy in the backyard so Mrs. Grimley doesn't have to look at it and I don't have to hear about it, and everybody's gonna be fine, okay?

Keith, dirty and exhausted, comes into view and stands in front of them.

SHERIFF CLAPTON: You okay there, sir?

KEITH: There's been a murder. I can take you to the location.

Keith points listlessly behind him. The sheriff is suspicious.


Meanwhile, Veronica is giving every appearance of enjoying herself at the party. She is dancing by herself suggestively. A number of boys are watching and cheering, entertained.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: So the question on the dance floor: How long must a girl play drunk and willing before someone tried to get her to take off clothes?

[302/2116.jpg]Shania and Hallie join Veronica, one pressed against either side of her and start to dance.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: The '70s had the hustle, the '80s, the moonwalk. We have the faux lesbian dance.

The girls dance happily. Marjorie, watching with Chip, grins. On the dance floor, Veronica spots a camera over a door.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: A surveillance camera hanging over a blocked door. Yeah, that's not weird.

VERONICA: Look, you guys, we're on TV!

Veronica leaves the arms of Shania and Hallie and grabs a chair. She puts it in front of the door with the camera. She climbs upon the chair and starts to dance again.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: If none of the guys in the room are gonna take the bait, maybe whoever's watching through this camera will.

Marjorie is now concerned and after a quiet word with Chip, they both approach Veronica. Veronica bends down and takes Marjorie's arms.

VERONICA: You didn't tell me there was a camera! Come on, come up here!

MARJORIE: Why don't you come down? I wanna show you something.

Marjorie helps Veronica down to the boos and thumbs down of the crowd. They leave the main room and Chip leads them single-file down some stairs.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Here it comes. Scary, dimly lit stairway. They think I'm drunk or worse.

Veronica, bringing up the rear, gets the taser out of her bag and turns it on.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: One false move and someone's getting a taste of Mr. Sparky.

VERONICA: [playfully] What are you showing me? Did you get a puppy?


Her hand on the taser, now deep in her bag, Veronica is led outside.

VERONICA: You wanted to show me a driveway?

Marjorie and Chip turn to face her.

MARJORIE: I think maybe it's time to call it a night, Veronica. You're on the verge of losing points with the sisters're my fave, so.... There's a Safe-Ride-Home cart coming for you. Chip will wait with you, keep you safe.

Marjorie goes back into the building. Surprised, Veronica looks at Chip. He holds up his hands.

CHIP: Hey, this is not how I wanted my night to end either.


The guards carry trays into the prisoners' room.

[302/2234.jpg]RAFE: I hope you're all hungry.

The trays are dropped on the floor. The contents are unappetising, comprising tinned fish (sardines, pilchards, or anchovies, maybe) and something in bowls that defies description.

ONE OF THE PRISONERS: Ugh, what is that?

OMAR: One of you has to eat it first.

Wallace claps and rubs together his hands in enthusiasm.

WALLACE: That would be me.

Wallace crouches down and takes one of the fish from the tin.


Wallace makes enthusiastic noises.

WALLACE: These are some tasty fishes.

SAMUEL: I can't eat this.

Rafe smirks and walks up to Samuel.

RAFE: Sure you can. Maybe it's magic corn and you can grow to be the size of a real boy.

Logan starts chewing, unfazed.


Chip looks down at the sounds of retching and shakes his head before walking away. Veronica is on her hands and knees by a large tree trunk.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: The best way to keep a guy at least ten feet away? Dry heave. Vomit is the new mace.

Veronica looks around on hearing the sound of a cart. It pulls up where Chip is standing and Veronica leaps up. The driver is Fern, last seen kneeing Dick in the groin at the Take Back the Night rally.

FERN: Your chariot.

Veronica, still playing drunk, waves at Chip and heads around the cart to get in on the other side.

VERONICA: Bye, sailor.

Chip checks that she gets in okay and addresses Fern.

CHIP: You have to take her to her friend's dorm. She's a commuter.

Chip slaps the top of the cart a couple of times and stands back. Fern groans and sets off. Chip wipes his hands, glad to be rid of Veronica. In the cart, Veronica is more intent on looking back to ensure she's in the clear to pay much attention to Fern.

FERN: I don't know why I do it. You girls get all tarted up...

Satisfied that she's away, Veronica starts to pay attention.

FERN: ...parade right into the belly of the beast, and drink until you can't say no. You're lucky you didn't end up with a shaved head. You should know better. The Greeks are evil.

VERONICA: Okay. So here's the thing. I'm not really drunk. So, if you could just take me to the parking lot.

FERN: Yeah, like I don't get that speech from everyone who sits in that seat.

Fern glares at Veronica with disapproval.

VERONICA: No, for real. I'm totally sober. Um, I was pretending for a story. I'm on your side. Look!

[302/2355.jpg]Veronica touches her nose with each finger rapidly, to persuade Fern of her sobriety. Fern is not impressed.

VERONICA: Hey, you pick up any Theta Beta rushes last night?

FERN: I didn't. But there are a couple of carts out each night.

VERONICA: Backwards alphabet? Z, x, y, w, v, u, t, s, r, q, p, o, n, m, l.... Do you want me to juggle? Back handspring? A Vagina Monologue, perhaps?

Fern pulls the cart to a stop.

FERN: Get out.

Veronica slides out of the seat. Without a word, Fern drives away. Veronica calls after her.

VERONICA: Thanks, sunshine. Keep on keepin' on.


The male prisoners are in the bathroom, using the urinals. Rafe claps his hands.

RAFE: Hurry up! No measuring contest, just do your business like the dogs you are.

Rafe spots another opportunity to humiliate Samuel. He does an impression of Arnold Horshack in Welcome Back Kotter.

[302/2455.jpg]RAFE: Oo-oo-oo.

Samuel doesn't react. He just stands silent and closes his eyes. Rafe laughs and walks around the side of Samuel.

RAFE: I don't hear anything, Horshack. You all dried out?

Samuel's face shows that Rafe has hit on his problem.

SAMUEL: It's kind of hard with you yelling.

RAFE: [mocklingly] "I can't pee 'cause there's other boys around." Wait a minute. Are you a homo, Horshack?

Wallace, watching from near the door, shuffles uncomfortably.

RAFE: Time's up!

Samuel grimaces, zips up, and leaves the urinal. Logan, stationed at the next door urinal, glances over thoughtfully.

[302/2517.jpg]INT - DESERT, CABIN - NIGHT.

Keith and the sheriff walk through the devastated cabin of ripped out walls.

SHERIFF CLAPTON: Uh, no blood, no body, place tore up. It's like a robbery, not a murder.

KEITH: They tore the place up looking for the victim's money.

SHERIFF CLAPTON: Well, if it was here, they found it.

The sheriff throws a question back at Keith, standing behind him.

SHERIFF CLAPTON: Just tell me again what you were doing out there in the desert.

Keith makes a gesture of exasperation but is spared having to make a response by a call from an inner room.

DEPUTY: Hey, Sheriff.

Keith and the sheriff enter the room where the deputy is. The deputy is in the process of taking a picture from the wall. On the corner is a small splatter of blood.

DEPUTY: I think I found some blood.

SHERIFF CLAPTON: Bag it. Let's get it back to the lab.

The deputy nods and takes the picture to the outer room. He sets it on a table. Keith watches from the doorway as the deputy carefully lifts off the hard plastic that encased the picture, the blood being on the plastic, which the deputy proceeds to bag. Keith stares at the picture left behind.


Logan, sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall in a corner, drifts off to sleep, his head falling into the corner. There's a sudden loud burst of music. Music: "Escape" by Rupert Holmes.

LYRICS: If you like Piña Coladas
Getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a-

Logan wakes up, pissed. The other prisoners awaken and grumble. Rafe is standing at the door holding a portable stereo.

LOGAN: Okay, okay, I'll tell you what you want to know.

Rafe switches off the music. End music: "Escape" by Rupert Holmes. Omar and the female student stare at Logan in shock. Logan beckons Rafe closer.

LOGAN: C'mere.

Rafe puts down the stereo, walks over to Logan and bends down to him.

LOGAN: Yes, I like Piña Coladas. And getting caught in the rain.

[302/2617.jpg]The others giggle, and now Rafe is pissed. He sees Samuel huddled away from the others.

RAFE: Get up!

Samuel doesn't move. Rafe storms over to him.


Slowly Samuel rises to his feet, looking shamed. His jeans are soaked from him having peed himself. Rafe laughs in triumph.

RAFE: Mother of every thing that is holy!

He marches Samuel into the view of everyone.

RAFE: He-mo wet his pants.

SAMUEL: [pleading] I have sweatpants in my bag, Rafe.

Rafe just laughs.

RAFE: Sit down, prisoner.

The female prisoner and Logan exchange a worried look.


Veronica, in her pyjamas, walks from the direction of the bedroom to the refrigerator. She gets a bottle of water and starts to drink as she shuts the door and turns. She gives a start and nearly chokes. Keith is sitting in the armchair, staring into space.

VERONICA: What are you doing? You nearly scared me to death.

KEITH: I'm sorry.

VERONICA: Why are you sitting there in the dark? And while we're at it, why didn't you call and tell me you were gonna be home a day late? Backup was worried sick.

Veronica is oblivious to Keith's demeanour.

VERONICA: [teasingly] C'mon, you can tell me. You've got a girl stashed somewhere, don't you?

[302/2745.jpg]Keith bends forward, into the light. It is clear from his face that he is deeply distressed. He puts a hand on his head. Veronica finally gets it.

VERONICA: Hey. What's wrong?

She slides onto the arm of the chair, putting her arm around his shoulders and leaning close towards him.

KEITH: [tearfully] I screwed up, Veronica. I screwed up, and someone got hurt.

Keith sniffs and drops his head back in his hands. Veronica cuddles into him, putting her head on his shoulder.

VERONICA: I know exactly how you feel.

She reaches forward to take his free hand.


Wallace is enjoying some more of the prisoners' food.


He swallows and smacks his lips.

[302/2755.jpg]WALLACE: Pigs' knuckles. Ya-um.

The prisoners do not look convinced.

SAMUEL: I can't eat that. It's pork.

RAFE: Then your mother was a pig?

SAMUEL: I keep kosher.

RAFE: Yeah, I don't get that. I mean, why won't your kind eat pork? It's not like it's expensive.

Rafe suddenly notices that Samuel is wearing sweatpants.

RAFE: Where did you get those?

Samuel and Wallace exchange a quick glance. Samuel doesn’t answer.

RAFE: [shouts] I'm not asking you again.

SAMUEL: I'm not telling you.

RAFE: Well, then, you're going to solitary.

Rafe grabs him and marched him out of the room under Logan's watchful eye.

RAFE: You can sit in there all curled up in the dark and pretend you're hiding from the Germans.


Mac is lying on her bed, her laptop open in front of her. She can't help but overhear Parker and her mother and looks up uncomfortably.

PARKER: No, I think the first one was better.

MRS. LEE: It wasn't, honey.

Parker and Mrs. Lee are standing in front of a mirror. Parker is wearing a wig, the "hair" of which is long and nearly silver with a thick fringe.

[302/2843.jpg]PARKER: Mom! I just, I think it's more me.

MRS. LEE: You should have something simple, that doesn't draw attention to you.

PARKER: Everyone is gonna know it's a wig anyway.

Parker pulls it off and sighs. She looks at Mac.

PARKER: What do you think, Mac?

Mac has no idea what to say.

MAC: Uh...

MRS. LEE: See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. You can't make a decision for yourself. This is why you never should have gone away to college. You're too immature. Once your father gets his pound of flesh at the Dean's office, we're taking you home.


Veronica and Nish are again perambulating.

[302/2921.jpg]NISH: Listen, it all sounds suspicious to me, Veronica, but you gotta find out what's behind the door with the camera.

VERONICA: Marjorie, the cool one-

NISH: Trust me, Veronica, none of them are cool.

VERONICA: She left me a voice-mail checking in on me, suggesting I curtail my drinking. It just doesn't exactly sound like the advice she'd give if they were trying to get me to strip in front of the Pi Sigs.

NISH: Four sources, Veronica. Something bad is going on in that basement.

VERONICA: Marjorie also said they were voting tonight at seven. That's when I'll make my move.

NISH: Great.

VERONICA: They sent me home in a Safe-Ride-Home cart. If they sent Parker home the same way, maybe the driver knows something.

NISH: Or maybe the driver took advantage of the situation. I have a friend who volunteers at Take Back the Night.

Nish by now is back in her (Ashley's) cubicle. She picks up the phone.

NISH: Hey, it's Nish. Question. Do you guys keep records of who you take home?


Moe opens his door and smiles. The sound of the classical music he is playing spills out. Music: The first movement (Allegro vivace) from Symphony No.41 by Mozart.

VERONICA: Wanna know the day you're the least safe at Hearst? Today. Why didn't you tell us you drove Parker home the night she was raped?

[302/3030.jpg]Moe is at a loss for words. A moment (or a commercial break) later, Veronica is in Moe's room. He is, again, attending to his refreshments. He pours water from a kettle into his Papa Bear mug.

VERONICA: If I understand correctly, you drove Parker home. She must have been totally out of it.

MOE: She was. She was hammered.

VERONICA: And you come in Wallace's room the next day dropping off rape safety rules and you don't mention you were the one who put her to bed?

MOE: I didn't know Parker was the girl who got raped. If I knew, I would have gone to the police or something.

With his tea in one hand and a plate of biscuits in the other, he turns to face Veronica.

MOE: Biscotti?

VERONICA: [impatiently]No. A-And what exactly would you have told the police?

MOE: Whatever they asked. I didn't do anything wrong, Veronica.

Moe settles himself down with his snack.

MOE: She was fine when we left.


MOE: There was another girl in the cart. She wasn't drunk or anything. She just took the cart so she didn't have to walk alone. Parker was so out of it, she helped me take her upstairs.

VERONICA: What was her name?

Moe's gesture seems to indicate that he doesn’t know. End music: The first movement (Allegro vivace) from Symphony No.41 by Mozart.


A door opens on Samuel, sitting alone on the floor in what looks like a janitor's closet. The light temporarily blinds him. Rafe looks down at him.

RAFE: Guten morgen.

Rafe escorts Samuel back to the prisoners' room. He pushes him in, then exits. Logan approaches Samuel. He pats him on the shoulder.

LOGAN: Hats off, man.


LOGAN: I would've cracked. I almost did already but, would you believe, I forgot the damn address.

Samuel chuckles.

[302/3112.jpg]SAMUEL: It's the corner of 116th Street and Jamison Boulevard.

OMAR: It's 114th Street and Jamestown.

Samuel looks confused.

SAMUEL: No, it's the corner of 116th Street and it's Jamison, like the liquor.

FEMALE PRISONER: He's right. It's 114th Street and Jamestown.

OMAR: Maybe you could say it a little bit louder next time?

FEMALE PRISONER: I was agreeing with you, jerk.

Logan stares at them for a moment, then back at Samuel, who is now very confused.


On the wall, there's a poster of Lance Armstrong. Underneath is the message: "Pain is temporary, quitting is forever." Veronica is sitting underneath, on a floral couch.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Moe's alibi checked out. Teri Wells, a sophomore RA in Clark Hall, confirmed that she and Moe dropped Parker off at her room and that by the time she left Moe, it was midnight. So, it's back to Theta Beta, figuring out what the deal is with the mystery room, and hoping it'll give me some clue to what happened to Parker.

Karen joins her on the couch, handing her a bottle of Snapple.

[302/3142.jpg]KAREN: Here you go, Veronica.

VERONICA: Thanks. I'm just so embarrassed. I-I'm really not usually like that.

KAREN: We all have our moments, Veronica. Lord knows, I have.

VERONICA: I just know they're not going to vote for me now.

KAREN: They may surprise you. My girls are excellent judges of character.

VERONICA: I really like it here, and Marjorie...

KAREN: You know, you can't talk to the girls before the vote, but I can.

Karen rises from the couch and leaves the room. As soon as she's gone, Veronica hurries to her desk. She searches through a couple of drawers until finding a set of keys. She pockets them. She then notices the computer screen on the desk. It shows the room in which the party was held.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: So the surveillance-camera monitor is in the den mother's room? What exactly is going on here?

Veronica looks around and notices a dog bed in the bathroom.

KAREN: Veronica?

Karen arrives back and is surprised to find her at the desk. Veronica holds out the top of the bottle.

VERONICA: Just looking for the trash.

Karen holds out her hand for it.

KAREN: You can relax now. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Karen smiles. Veronica smiles and nods.


Wallace is in a chair outside the prisoners' room, but he is asleep, as is Julia next to him. Inside, Logan rouses the others.

LOGAN: Psst.

He nods in the direction of the window. The prisoners pad softly to it, one of them carrying a bundle. Logan opens the window and lets down the makeshift ladder of sheets tied together.


The prisoners enjoy large drinks, pizza, and other junk food at one of the Food Court tables. They chat and laugh, happy about their freedom, save for Samuel who is asleep with his head resting on his arm on the table. Logan slurps the remains of his drink through a straw and throws down his napkin.

LOGAN: [in a Southern accent] I do declare. That was the finest Frito pie I believe I've ever tasted.

[302/3324.jpg]Veronica pats him on the back and stands by the table, looking down at him.

LOGAN: Ah, finally, my conjugal visit.

VERONICA: Hmm, lemme guess. You're out on good behaviour?

LOGAN: [softly] No.

He makes an announcement to his fellow escapees.

LOGAN: You all know my girl, Veronica.

He looks back up at his girlfriend.

LOGAN: I have your picture hung in my cell. Gets me through the long, lonely nights. I lend it to my buddy, Horshack, sometimes. Hope you don't mind.

VERONICA: It's good to share.

Veronica picks some food off his plate and pops it in her mouth.

LOGAN: Yep. Well, have a seat. We're waxing nostalgic over our time on the inside.

VERONICA: Hmm, I can't. You're breaking out, I'm breaking in.

Veronica gestures at the two of them for the benefit of the rest of the table.

VERONICA: Star-crossed.

Logan watches her go, then shifts his view as Rafe and the guards march up to the table.

RAFE: What the hell do you think you're doing?

LOGAN: Hm, getting a jump-start on the freshman fifteen?

The prisoners start to get up from the table as Rafe verbally attacks Wallace and Julia.

RAFE: You can't hear six people jump out of a window? We're going to lose this now, and it's on you two.

They all start to head out.


[302/3430.jpg]Veronica enters from the driveway.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Now, with the Zeta Theta sisters all off somewhere voting, time to see what's in the mystery room.

She races up the staircase. In the main room, she puts tape over the camera above the door, then uses the keys to open the door underneath. She enters the room. It is full of marijuana plants grown under artificial lights. Veronica stares in surprise.

VERONICA: Holy smokes.


The scene of the greenhouse converts to photographs in the hands of Nish.

[302/3452.jpg]NISH: Un-freaking-believable. This is awesome, Veronica.

VERONICA: [quietly] Thanks.

Nish is perched on a desk, thrilled with Veronica's success.

NISH: And the secret parties with the booze and dudes? We're talking one Greek house down...

She snakes her head in a dance.

NISH:...nine to go.

Nish laughs.

VERONICA: Yeah. You know, they weren't all bad.

NISH: You're going to be a real asset to us here, Veronica. You're one of us now.

Veronica isn't thrilled.


Samuel is at a urinal. Rafe is looming over him and shouting in his ear.

RAFE: How are you not peeing? You downed an entire Big Gulp at the Food Court and now you can't go? What is wrong with you?

[302/3516.jpg]Samuel reacts to each charge as if slapped and finally cracks.

SAMUEL: It's 114th and Jamestown.

Rafe smiles. Logan and Omar race from the area of the cubicles.

LOGAN: Dude!

OMAR: It's only ten hours to go and you caved.

RAFE: Leave him alone.

Rafe pats Samuel heartily on the shoulder.


Veronica walks to her car. She pauses when she sees Marjorie leaning against it.

[302/3610.jpg]MARJORIE: We need to talk.

VERONICA: About what?

MARJORIE: Karen has cancer. She saw you go into her private room. There's a second camera inside. What were you looking for?

VERONICA: The truth?

MARJORIE: If that's not too much to ask.

VERONICA: A friend...

Veronica realises that it is not the right word.

VERONICA: ...someone I know, was raped after she left a Theta Beta party. I thought there might be a clue behind that door.

MARJORIE: What's behind that door had nothing to do with the rape of Parker Lee.

VERONICA: So the pot farm...

MARJORIE: Karen was so sick from the chemo, she just spent the day laying on the floor in front of the toilet. We got a dog bed so at least she could lay on something soft. This botany professor friend of hers gave her some seeds. He said it would help with the pain and the nausea, and it did. She won't just lose her job over this, Veronica, she'll lose her insurance. Please don't say anything about what you saw.

Marjorie walks away.


The prisoners and the guards are standing at either end of the corridor. Samuel is in between them, facing his fellow prisoners.

SAMUEL: I held out as long as I could, guys. Really.

RAFE: Come on, give the guy a break.

[302/3639.jpg]Dr. Kinny arrives.

DR. KINNY: You rang?

RAFE: [triumphantly] We have the address. 114th and Jamestown.

DR. KINNY: Congratulations.

Dr. Kinny extends his hand. Rafe takes it, shaking the man's hand with fervour. The other guards quietly celebrate.

DR. KINNY: You managed to get false information.

Rafe is stunned. Wallace's broad smile melts away. Logan's brow rises in triumph.

DR. KINNY: Call me again when you get accurate info.

Dr. Kinny turns and walks away. As he goes, a "D'oh" is heard (Dr. Kinny is played by Dan Castellaneta who voices Homer Simpson) but it is unclear as to whether he says it (producers claim) or if it was said by someone else (episode's writer and editor claim in a podcast). Rafe doesn't care. He's fit to burst and turns furiously on Samuel.

RAFE: Solitary, now!

Samuel's face crumples and he dips past Rafe to go to the janitor's closet. Rafe turns his attention to Logan, marching straight up to him and getting in his face.

RAFE: I don't know how you did this, but I know this was you.

Logan smirks, satisfied.


Veronica is still standing beside her car where Marjorie left her. She is on her cell phone.

VERONICA: Nish, it's Veronica. Listen to me, you can't print that story. I made a huge mistake.


Nish is sitting in her/Ashley's office.

NISH: What mistake?


Veronica talks as she walks to the back of her car and leans against it.

VERONICA: Their den mother has cancer. She's growing marijuana for medical reasons. She got the seeds from a botany professor who was trying to help her.


Nish is unmoved.

NISH: And the party, the...


NISH: [offscreen] ...underage drinking...

VERONICA: Look. Can you just give me a day, so I can verify some facts?

NISH: [offscreen] As far as I'm concerned, the facts are here.


NISH: The article's being published, Veronica.


NISH: [offscreen] You should be proud.

Veronica is anything but. She drops the phone, regretful.


There's a knock at the door. Karen opens it. Veronica stands there. Karen sags a little at the sight of her.

[302/3731.jpg]VERONICA: [genuinely] Karen. I am so sorry.

Marjorie joins Karen at the door.

VERONICA: There's going to be an article in the school newspaper tomorrow. You need to get rid of the marijuana before it comes out.

Karen sags that bit more and turns away, leaving Marjorie with Veronica.

MARJORIE: You wanna know the definition of ironic?

She smiles humourlessly.

MARJORIE: You got voted in, Veronica. We wanted you to be one of us.

Marjorie closes the door. Veronica lets out a breath, shame and regret written all over her.


Parker's side of the room is cleared, and everything is gone. Parker, in the horrible wig her mother said was the best choice, carries only a small bag as she approaches Mac, who is sitting on her bed working on her laptop.

PARKER: I left you a card with like my numbers and stuff. If you want.

She sinks onto the small couch.

PARKER: I thought we were going to have a blast together. Now everything's ruined.

MAC: Don't go. Nothing's ruined...but I think if you go with your parents, it will be. Stay here. I'll have your back from now on.

[302/3831.jpg]Parker's moved and grateful. She breaks into a cautious smile.

VERONICA: Thank you, Mac.

Parker rises from the couch and walks towards Mac. Mac, clearly new to this sort of affection, rises slowly. They hug. Mac's expression speaks of not being sure why she's given Parker the support, but not having any doubts about it.


The clock shows the time is 6:01. Back in the corridor, all the prisoners except Logan, who is being fairly nonchalant, watch it with increasing anticipation. The guards are facing them, less enthusiastic. Rafe glances back at the clock. The minute hand moves and it is 6:02. The prisoners celebrate. After slapping hands with Logan, Omar races forward into the arms of his girlfriend, Julia. They hug.

WALLACE: [innocently] Omar? Now that it's over, you gotta tell us what that address was.

Logan, alert to the trap, shouts out...


But Omar either doesn't hear him or ignores him.

OMAR: [gloating] It's 116th Street and Jamison Boulevard. Stick that in your trophy case, baby.


Behind Wallace, Dr. Kinny has just entered.

DR. KINNY: Congratulations, guards. You've won.

OMAR: What are you talking about? It's 6:03.

Dr. Kinny consults his watch.

DR. KINNY: It's 5:45. The two guards who fell asleep on duty were just pretending.

Rafe is stunned. Wallace holds up his wrist and taps his watch.

DR. KINNY: They waited for the prisoners to escape and then moved the clock forward.

Omar looks up at his (taller) girlfriend. She shrugs, smiling.

DR. KINNY: See you in class.

Dr. Kinny turns and walks out. Logan curses silently and looks at Wallace, who beams and nods at him, before turning to the angry Rafe.

[302/3933.jpg]RAFE: And you didn't tell me?

WALLACE: Well, we were counting on you to act like a jerk.

Wallace pats him companionably on the arm.

WALLACE: Way to sell it.

As Rafe tries to work out if that's a compliment, Wallace looks back at Logan and gives him a salute. Logan gives a small smile and nods.


Keith comes into the kitchen where Veronica is seated at the counter eating a bowl of cereal. Her laptop is open in front of her.

KEITH: 'Sup?

VERONICA: I'm not acknowledging that.

As he pours himself a coffee, Keith looks at his daughter with pride and affection.

KEITH: Look at my dedicated college student.

VERONICA: Knowledge is power.

KEITH: Nietzsche?

VERONICA: Mm, Schoolhouse Rock!

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Here's the knowledge I've accumulated my first week at Hearst.

Veronica has opened a file on the rapes. Her laptop shows a page of it. Down the right hand side is listed the subfiles - Victims, Suspects, Crime Scenes, and Timeline. Taking up most of the page is a map of the campus (and possibly the surrounding area). There are four markers, clustered in the top left-hand part of the screen, presumably showing the locations of four rapes. There is a smaller window that is superimposed over this (and may hide other locations). In it are some notes about Parker, whose name tops that window. On the left is space for a photo, of which there isn't one at this stage. Under that are Parker's basic details:
[302/3956.jpg]Age: 18
DOB: 01/27/88
Sex: F
Height: 5'5" Weight: 117
Eyes: Blue Hair: Blonde
Marital Status: Single
Employer: Student
On the larger right-hand section, headed "Notes," the following is written: "Promiscuous frosh [or trash?]...attractive and well-liked (for obvious reason). Night of rape, I walked into Mac and Parker's room to get our movie tickets, heard sexual noises, saw what looked like consensual sex and heard a buzzing sound that I thought was a vibrator... Turns out it was a hair trimmer, evidence that this is the serial rapist (due to the other three rapes involving shaved heads, the rapist's mark)..." At the bottom of this smaller window are the following tabs: Notes, Interview, Enemies, Evidence, Save, and X.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Chip Diller seems to be around when the rapes occur, the safety of the Safe-Ride-Home is questionable, and someone in the Theta Betas had the keys to Parker's room the night of her rape. It's a start.


A box is opened. Inside is the painting from the cabin.

CURATOR: [stunned] Van Gogh's "Two Lovers." Do you have any idea how much this is worth?

KEITH: Millions.



Kendall is standing in front of Keith's desk.

[302/4019.jpg]KENDALL: I need you to do something for me.

Keith is putting on his jacket.

KEITH: Sorry, Mrs. Casablancas, but I'm meeting my daughter in an hour.

KENDALL: I think you'll change your mind.

Kendall opens the briefcase on Keith's desk. Inside is the painting.




Keith hands over some papers.

KEITH: Papers are in order. Proceeds from the sale to go to the South Neptune Food Bank.

CURATOR: Are you sure?

Keith smiles.

KEITH: Yeah, I'm sure.

He turns and walks away.


Dr. Kinny's room fills up with students. Wallace enters and takes his seat, which is next to Samuel.

WALLACE: Hey, Horshack.

SAMUEL: Morning, Wallace.

WALLACE: Good news. Looks like Rafe isn't showing up today.

SAMUEL: Yeah, he's feeling a cold coming on. He asked me to take notes for him.

WALLACE: [surprised] And you're doing it?

SAMUEL: Yeah, I mean, all that stuff this weekend was just a game. He's a cool guy. He just likes to win.

WALLACE: [sceptically] If you say so.

SAMUEL: Oh, hey, where's Logan?

WALLACE: [happily] Oh, we'll be seeing him real soon.

Wallace turns his attention to the front of the room with a grin as Dr. Kinny starts his lecture.

[302/4109.jpg]DR. KINNY: So, what did we learn from our little experiment this weekend? Let me hear from one of the participants.

There's a bang as the door to the room swings open. Logan, naked but for a black eye mask, races into the room and down the aisle between the desks. Students titter. Logan stops at Wallace's desk, turns to face him, and salutes. Wallace, grinning, holds out his hands to shield his eyes from Logan's nether regions. Logan ends the salute on a flourish and runs on.

SAMUEL: [with distaste] Oh, my God!

Logan speeds to the front before an ambivalent Dr. Kinny and out of the room. The students continue to laugh and mutter. Wallace turns to Samuel.

WALLACE: That happens to me all the time.


Veronica is at a library counter, stamping books.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: So it looks like my work study job will be in the library.

She slides the book over to the unseen receiver with a smile. She grabs a couple of books from the counter and walks over to a book cart.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: My journalism career over before it even really began.

[302/4138.jpg]She puts the books on the cart and starts to push it. She pauses on noticing a newspaper on one of the reading tables. She leaves the cart to look at the paper. The front page is "her" story. Under the large print of her picture of the crop is the caption "Harvest College? Marijuana plants flourish freely in a hidden grow-room [sic] located inside Zeta...." The headline is: "Grow room discovered in Theta Beta." There is a sub-headline: "Botany professor provides seeds." The only by-line on the story is "Veronica Mars, Contributor." As much as can be read states: "Hearst College has a cash crop on its hands. Too bad they aren't aware of it. Nestles in a secret...Zeta Theta B...away...While California's medicin...marijuana laws are regarded as quite liberal, certain regulations and safe guards are in place to ensure only certified growers operate for the benefit of ailing patients." The article then goes into Latin. Running down a column on the left hand side is a notice on "Today @ Hearst, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m." and reads "Freshmen attend the first day of New Student Orientation and receive academic planning tips and course registration assistence [sic] Student orientation will be held through September 16th." Finally, there is a note to the effect that more of today's headlines can be found at Veronica sighs on reading the lead story. Fern walks past behind her and notices.

FERN: Well done, sister.

Fern gives her a double thumbs-up and walks away. Veronica is not so proud of herself. End. Executive producer Rob Thomas.

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