2.15 The Quick and the Wed

Written by: John Serge
Directed by: Rick Rosenthal

Original Air Date: 22 March, 2006
Transcribed by Inigo and Black Lebaron.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars

From the pilot, Veronica runs out to the Kane pool and is shocked to see Lilly lying dead. Cut to Veronica having watched the tapes of Aaron and Lilly in 122 "Leave It to Beaver."

VERONICA: I know what happened.

In Veronica's visualisation of the crime, Aaron hits Lilly across the head with a heavy ashtray.

VERONICA: [offscreen] Dad, it's Aaron Echolls; he did it.

At home, a concerned Keith listens to her on his cell.

VERONICA: [offscreen] I have video of Lilly in his bed on the day she died.

In 210 "One Angry Veronica," Keith attends Woody at the latter's office.

WOODY: The Aaron Echolls-Lilly Kane sex tapes have been stolen from the evidence room.

Logan sobs as he destroys the tapes.

KEITH: [offscreen] For a guy who says he hates his father...

Keith arrives too late to stop him.

KEITH: ...you sure did him a huge favor.

Logan stands on the edge of the railing on the Coronado Bridge in 122 "Leave It to Beaver."

LOGAN: What do you think you can do to me?

WEEVIL: I'll think of something.

From 201 "Normal Is the Watchword," Logan beckons Weevil on, then kicks him in the face. The rest of the bikers drag him off the edge and pull him down to the ground. They start kicking. A little later, a man stands over Logan as he returns to consciousness.

DRIVER: Why don't you do me a favor and drop that knife?

Logan groggily notes the bloody knife in his hand and Felix's body lying nearby. Cut to Logan's bed in 203 "Cheatty, Cheatty, Bang, Bang." Naked Logan grabs his cell from naked Kendall, who is astride him, and throws it across the room.

LOGAN: I can handle the spice department, thank you very much.

KENDALL: Oh really?

LOGAN: Really.

He pulls Kendall down to him. Cut to Tom Griffith approaching Lamb in 206 "Rat Saw God."

GRIFFITH: I have information about that Mexican kid who got killed. I'm the one who made the anonymous call.

Logan comes clean with Veronica in 207 "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner."

LOGAN: That's not the guy from the bridge.

VERONICA: You said the whole night was a blur.

LOGAN: I lied.

Logan urgently educates Hannah about her father in 214 "Versatile Toppings."

LOGAN: Your dad is in deep to the Fitzpatrick family, the ones who really wanted Felix dead.

Griffith comes upon Hannah and Logan as they watch TV.


Griffith tackles Logan as he comes out of the bathroom.

GRIFFITH: I want you to get out of my house and never speak to her again.

LOGAN: You'd better rethink what you saw on the bridge.

Woody pontificates at the golf club in 207 "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner."

WOODY: I promised a cleaner, safer Neptune. Wanna know how I'm gonna get there? Incorporation.

KEITH: That's not a town, Woody, that's a-that's a country club.

Woody pontificates at Sharks Field in 201 "Normal Is the Watchword."

WOODY: I know some of you. I even coached a few of you back in Little League. I thought I'd invite the journalism classes out and give Gia a chance to make some new friends.

Dick sucks up to Gia.

DICK: Hello, friend.

A little later, Woody introduces a legend.

WOODY: Special guest: future Hall-of-Famer, Terrence Cook.

Dick talks to Veronica and Duncan.

DICK: We're not taking that stank-ass bus back to Neptune. My dad's sending a limo.

Veronica watches the bus drive away without her. Weevil gives her a ride on his motorbike and they come across the crash.

GIA: It just went straight off the cliff. They're all dead.

Cut to the interrogation room at the sheriff's department in 203 "Cheatty, Cheatty, Bang, Bang."

LAMB: Mr. David "Curly" Moran.

VERONICA: What does this have to do with me?

LAMB: This body washed up on the beach, beaten to death.

At the garage where Curly worked, Veronica stares at one of Curly's framed celebrity photos - the one of him with Aaron Echolls.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: It looks as though Curly and I have a friend in common. "All these years, still on The Long Haul."

Veronica stares in horror at the poster of Aaron's movie at the Echolls family home.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: It's a movie, featuring a signature stunt where a truck is sent veering over a bridge.

Keith and Veronica watch TV in 212 "Wallace and Rashard Go to White Castle."

ANNOUNCER: Balboa County Sheriff Don Lamb questions baseball legend Terrence Cook in connection with the Neptune High bus crash.

Terrence pauses as he leaves Keith and Mars Investigations in 213 "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough."

TERRENCE: You'll take my case?

At the office, Veronica questions Keith in 214 "Versatile Toppings."

VERONICA: You sure you're not clouded by your years of being his biggest fan?

Keith doubts that Terrence has come clean in 213 "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough."

KEITH: A secret, tumultuous relationship with a teacher who died in the crash? Seems like more of a motive than supporting Woody's plans for incorporation.

Lamb interrogates Gia at the sheriff's department, as heard on the interview tapes by Keith in 210 "One Angry Veronica."

LAMB: That's why you didn't take the bus home.

GIA: Actually, my dad told me not to. I mean, he must have been totally psychic or something.

Veronica holds out a frozen dead rat in a plastic bag at Mars Investigations in 209 "My Mother, the Fiend."

VERONICA: Are you keeping a dead rat in our freezer?

KEITH: I found it on the bus.

VERONICA: It was a message...for me. I'm the rat.

Keith offers a different interpretation in 212 "Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle."

KEITH: A dead rat's only talent, it smells...bad enough to drive anyone who could afford another ride off the bus.

Thumper faces off against Weevil.

THUMPER: So what if we want to make some money selling dope to rich white boys? Is that such a bad thing?

Weevil gets thumped. A little later, bloody, bruised and on his knees, Weevil looks up at his Iago.

WEEVIL: You killed Felix, didn't you?

THUMPER: That's an interesting theory, Eli. But before you think about spreading it around, I think you should see something.

Thumper shows Weevil the images on his cell of Weevil beating up Curly.

THUMPER: That night you nearly kicked Curly's head in?

Beaver propositions Kendall (No! not like that) at Java the Hut in 209 "My Mother, the Fiend."

BEAVER: I'm using my trust fund to start a real estate business.


BEAVER: You would be the face of the Phoenix Land Trust.

Veronica goes looking for a Phillips head screwdriver in the hangar Terrence uses to store his cars and finds something unexpected, as she tells a disappointed Keith in 214 "Versatile Toppings."

VERONICA: Jackie and I borrowed one of Terrence's cars tonight. I was digging around where he keeps them and I found some sort of explosive and detonators.

End previouslies...phew!


Veronica pours coffee as Keith, still in his dressing gown and sitting at the counter, sadly considers a world of fallen idols.

KEITH: Veronica, are you absolutely sure what you saw in that hangar were explosives?

Veronica hands Keith his coffee.

VERONICA: And detonators. Pretty sure. They were marked "C-4."

Keith sighs heavily and takes a drink from the cup as Veronica walks around the counter and sits opposite him.

VERONICA: Maybe Terrence has a legitimate use for them.

KEITH: Trout fishing? Anyone else know about this?

VERONICA: Jackie was with me but she didn't see anything.

KEITH: [under his breath] God.

VERONICA: What are you gonna do?

KEITH: I'm gonna get dressed.


Lamb is leaning back in his chair, a little incredulous.

LAMB: Come again?

Keith is standing in front of Lamb's desk, his hands deep in his pockets.

KEITH: Explosives. They're in the hangar where Terrence keeps his cars.

LAMB: Your Terrence? The same Terrence who had nothing to do with the bus crash, who couldn't possibly have made the call that detonated the bomb?

KEITH: Veronica saw them first-hand.

LAMB: Oh, well, if Veronica saw them. I mean that's like Moses bringing tablets down the mountain to me.

KEITH: Why don't you get a search warrant, Sheriff, and see for yourself.

LAMB: Could take a while. Judge Carlton's fly fishing at Big Horn.

Lamb fakes a revelation, pointing at Keith.

LAMB: Unless you've got a canoe.

KEITH: You might want to post someone--

LAMB: Outside the hangar? You think?

Keith shrugs, shakes his head and walks out of the office.


A lightning effect flashes across a graphic for Hollywood Entertainment Network's Tinseltown Diaries, turning the black background momentarily white as the deeply-voiced announcer drones. The central image is of a closed diary. Hanging from the S of "Tinseltown" is a discarded red bra.

ANNOUNCER: Tonight, Tinseltown Diaries examines the rise and fall of one of Hollywood's brightest stars.

The graphic gives way to a series of photos as described by the announcer.

ANNOUNCER: Choir boy. Cub Scout. Starving actor.

The picture next up is of Harry Hamlin in Clash of the Titans.

ANNOUNCER: Mega-star. Husband.

After a wedding picture of Aaron and Lynn, and another of all four Echolls, a tabloid magazine appears, The Find which headlines, "Aaron Echolls Adultery Exposed! Exclusive Photos Show 'Perfect' Hollywood Marriage in Shambles!" The tabloid, still only $2.11, also promises to reveal that "Hollywood Gets Fatter!" and "Banned! Mini-Motos a Danger. Key Grip Dies after Collision with Truck." The mega-giveaway is a stick that cures everything from acne to zits.

ANNOUNCER: Father. Adulterer.

A clip of Lilly from Logan's memorial video is shown, followed by a mug shot of Aaron.

ANNOUNCER: Cradle-robber. Murderer. Who is the real Aaron Echolls?

The scene shifts to Aaron, being interviewed in prison.

INTERVIEWER: Can you look right into the camera and tell America you've done nothing wrong?

AARON: I've made mistakes.


Dick and Logan are watching, Logan with increasing discomfort. Dick has the remote in his hand.

AARON: [offscreen] But I swear on my life I did not kill Lilly Kane.

ANNOUNCER: Echolls rose to fame in the eighties...

LOGAN: Switch it.

DICK: Dude, you kidding? Don't you wanna see how it ends?

On screen, the family picture is shown again. It is in colour and has Trina, Aaron, Lynn and Logan standing, facing the camera. Lynn is laughing, the men are smiling and Trina is looking a little sour. The photo fades to black and white.

ANNOUNCER: Almost as famous as the man himself are the other members of the Echolls family, their sordid lives an endless source of tabloid fodder. In 1984...

DICK: Dude, your dad's really leaned out in the big house. Probably all those tossed salads, huh?

Logan is increasingly upset, a fact Dick chooses to ignore. On screen, the front cover of Strike, last seen in 112 "Clash of the Tritons," appears. There's another picture of Lynn and Aaron and a clip from the helicopter circling over the Coronado Bridge where Lynn's car is abandoned.

ANNOUNCER: After an avalanche of stories about Aaron's infidelities made headlines last year, wife Lynn's car was found stranded on the Coronado Bridge, where she is assumed to have leapt to her death. Rumors of Echolls' sometimes-actress daughter, Trina's terminal illness were recently revealed to be a hoax.

After another glimpse of a tabloid headline, "Aaron Echolls Private Tragedy," pictures of Veronica's footage of Trina making her donor plea from 209 "My Mother, the Fiend" are shown. Logan continues to squirm. Logan glances over at Dick, who grins broadly at him.

ANNOUNCER: And son Logan's rocky relationship with the media and the law began last year when he organized and videotaped a series of bum fights.

The bum fight footage from The Smoking Gun, first seen in 106 "Return of the Kane," is shown, followed by news footage of Logan leaving the courthouse from 201 "Normal Is the Watchword".

ANNOUNCER: Today, the youngest Echolls is...


Hannah is also watching the broadcast.

ANNOUNCER: ...like his old man, awaiting trial, accused in the stabbing death of a local gang member, a murder that took place on the infamous Coronado Bridge...

Her mother, Steph Denenberg is standing beside her, watching with growing horror.

STEPH: That's who you're dating?

Hannah looks up at her mother and sighs.

ANNOUNCER: ...where his mother is believed to have committed suicide.


ANNOUNCER: Through it all, Aaron has steadfastly denied any guilt in the murder of friend Jake Kane's only daughter.

INTERVIEWER: What about the sex tapes?

AARON: What tapes?

Dick glances over at Logan again.

AARON: My counsel's requested copies from the prosecution. Where are they? I don't think they exist. I've said all along, it's her brother they should be looking at, Duncan Kane. I mean, he's got a history of violence. Now he's fled the country?


AARON: He's wanted for kidnapping?

Veronica, holding a tray with six cups of coffee on it, has stopped to watch.

ANNOUNCER: Aaron Echolls is currently in custody in the Balboa County prison. The Lilly Kane murder trial is...

Jane approaches her.

JANE: Veronica?

ANNOUNCER: ...set to begin this spring...

VERONICA: Oh, hey Jane.

Jane points to the tray.

JANE: I think those are our drinks.

VERONICA: And you want me to bring them to you versus watching them get cold from across the room. Got it.

Veronica starts to follow Jane to one of the tables. They pause to watch the girl on the karaoke stage, doing a deliberately raunchy performance of Cheap Trick's "I Want You to Want Me."

HEIDI: [sings] I want you to want me.

The singer rolls her hips suggestively. Veronica and Jane laugh.

HEIDI: [sings] I need you to need me.

JANE: My sister, Heidi.

HEIDI: [sings] I'd love you to love me.

They continue to the table where four other girls are laughing and cheering Heidi's performance. Jane takes her seat and Veronica starts to serve the coffees.

VERONICA: The bride to be?

HEIDI: [sings] I'm begging you to beg me.

MAGGIE: More like the "bride to beat." She's only marrying Paul Mann. The Mann's are, like, the oldest money in Neptune.

HEIDI: [sings] I want you to want me.

VERONICA: You mean like from the eighties?

HEIDI: [sings] I want you to want me.

VERONICA: Please tell me they invented the fish-net muscle shirt.

HEIDI: [sings] I want you to want me. Oh, I want you to want meeeee.

The girls cheer wildly as Heidi brings her song to a close.

MC: A-all right, let's hear it for Heidi! Good going, Heidi. Next up the vocal talents of Randy...

Heidi high-fives Kim and sits down at the table.

MAGGIE: Honey! Next time, please hold the mike in your right hand, because you nearly blinded the audience with your rock.

Maggie reaches over and takes Heidi's hand on which is sported a very, very large diamond. In the background, Randy can be heard, although not seen, as he tackles Gilbert and Sullivan's "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General."

RANDY: [sings] I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical

VERONICA: Wow. Somebody parked a diamond Volkswagen on your finger.

MAGGIE: It's ours. We wantsss it.

Heidi pulls her hand back. One of the girls, Jen, pours alcohol from a flask into her coffee, a fact Veronica notes.

HEIDI: No, it's mine, along with the gorgeous, brilliant sweetheart of a man that goes with it.

RANDY: [sings] I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

VERONICA: I have to say, we don't get that many bachelorette parties at the Hut.

HEIDI: This is just the first stop of the no-holds-barred bacchanalia.

Heidi raises her cup and the girls clink their cups together.

HEIDI: Coffee up, ladies.

JANE: [to Veronica] It's a bachelorette scavenger hunt.

Jane hands Veronica a piece of red paper. Veronica reads.

VERONICA: "One--sing slutty song publicly. Two--talk a man out of his underwear."

HEIDI: Done and done. Here.

RANDY: [sings] I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

Heidi holds up a pair of boxers. She glances behind her at a man (Michael Ausiello of TVGuide.com) who grins in embarrassment. Heidi swings the boxers over her head. Jen holds up a camera. Heidi poses with the boxers and Jen takes a picture.

JEN: Say "Cheese-Whiz."

VERONICA: Alrighty then, well if you wind up getting to number eight, be sure and bring mouthwash.

Veronica leaves them to their fun.


A small plane and some cars stand outside a hangar, the door of which is partially up. Inside the hanger, the black helicopter and one of Terrence's cars can be seen, along with a couple of men. Some temporary barriers block access to the hangar. Keith leans on his car watching events behind the barrier. The men walk out of the hangar, followed by two others. It's Lamb and a man in a face mask who walks away with a bag. Keith walks forward to the barrier to speak to Lamb.

LAMB: Oh, you lookie-loos, with your police-band radios and free time.

KEITH: What'd you find?

Lamb addresses a crowd that isn't there.

LAMB: All right, people, back it on up, nothing to see here.

KEITH: Is that C-4? Did the bomb squad confirm it?

LAMB: Sir, this is a police matter.

Behind Lamb's shoulder, Keith sees a red pickup truck which is marked "Magic Touch. Custom Auto Detailing. 619-555-0146." It approaches and slows for a deputy who, after a brief word, waves the driver off.

LAMB: You'll have to wait for the press conference like everyone else.

Lamb dismisses Keith who barely notices as he concentrates on the departing pickup truck.


Veronica strides through the busy hallway. Jane runs to catch up with her.

JANE: Veronica.

VERONICA: Hey, party-girl.

JANE: I need your help.

VERONICA: Let me guess, the pin-the-penis-on-the-fireman game ended in tears?

JANE: My sister's missing.

This pulls Veronica up sharply as she stares at Jane.

Opening credits.


From overhead, the camera pans over several tables before settling on the one where Veronica and Jane are having their lunch.

JANE: Heidi's friends dropped her off at, like, two in the morning. She missed her final dress fitting at ten. We figured she was hung over, but we went by her place. Called everyone. No one's seen her; no one's heard from her. Her cell phone goes right to voice-mail.

VERONICA: Did you check the hospitals?

JANE: My mom did. Here's the thing, my sister's great, but she's--

Wallace joins them with his tray, sitting between them, finishing Jane's sentence.

WALLACE: She's kind of a dingbat sometimes.

Veronica and Jane both give him a look.

WALLACE: What? The last time we all went to the beach, Heidi almost drowned herself, trying to swim with the dolphins.

JANE: I'm just afraid she's having a Heidi moment and she's gonna mess up her life. We have to find her before the wedding. Paul and his family cannot find out she's gone.

VERONICA: Aren't they gonna miss her? I mean, doesn't she have wedding stuff to do?

JANE: There's a wedding planner, and Paul's parents are pretty much doing everything else.

WALLACE: Well, what about the rehearsal dinner? You thinking a stunt double?

JANE: There isn't one. It's gonna be a tiny ceremony, immediate family only, then five hundred at the reception.

VERONICA: When's the wedding?

JANE: Saturday. As in three days from now.


Cameras flash as Lamb gives a press conference.

LAMB: At 10:17 this morning, a warrant for the arrest of Terrence Cook was issued charging him with eight counts of murder in the first degree.


Keith watches the live report on 5 Action News on the TV in his office.

REPORTER: Sheriff, you picked him up for questioning before without charging him. Is there new evidence?

LAMB: Explosives were found matching the type used in the bus crash in hangar space used by Mr. Cook to house his fleet of automobiles.

REPORTER: Do you have Mr. Cook in custody?

LAMB: Ah, no, not yet, but if he runs, he's not gonna get far.

Lamb turns away, ending the press conference as the babble of questions continues.

ANNOUNCER: That's all we have here at Neptune's Sheriff's Department. Back to you, Don.

Pissed off, Keith pulls out the ringing cell phone from his pocket and checks the caller ID.



Veronica is sitting on one of the low walls, legs crossed beneath her. She has a notebook open across her thighs as she talks to Keith. The camera switches between the two locations during the call.

VERONICA: Do you mind helping me out? A friend's sister is missing, a runaway-bride thing. Her name is Heidi Kuhne.

KEITH: Veronica, aren't you supposed to be at school doing schooly-type stuff?

VERONICA: That's why I want you to run her phone records, Pop. You can do this in your sleep, come on.

KEITH: All right, just as long as--

VERONICA: Both cell and home, please, and you might as well check her credit cards and ATM activity while you're at it.

KEITH: Is there anything else, darling?

VERONICA: Hey, I'm sorry about Terrence.

KEITH: Yeah, me too.

Veronica switches off her phone and looks around. She sees Logan and Hannah, both sitting on top of one of the tables, kissing. Veronica's face shows her disgust. At the table, Logan and Hannah cuddle.

LOGAN: So you want me to come over after school?

HANNAH: The words out of your mouth are "come over," but all I hear you saying is "Let's have sex."

Logan stiffens and looks at her.

LOGAN: Excuse me? All I heard you say is "Let's have sex."

Hannah laughs.


Logan is at his locker. He pulls out a book and shuts the locker. Veronica is leaning against the next locker, waiting. Logan jerks slightly in surprise.

VERONICA: Toying with a sweet little girl's heart just to screw with her dad?

Logan, head down, nods slightly in resignation.

VERONICA: I get it, San Quentin isn't quite as enticing as, say, college, but damn, you've really plumbed new depths, Logan.

Logan, who starting smirking at the mention of San Quentin, looks at Veronica for a moment.

LOGAN: You're cute when you're jealous.

He touches her nose lightly and walks away. Veronica sighs, dissatisfied.


Veronica, still in her school outfit of naked man black T-shirt over a grey long sleeved one and distressed jeans, balances on the arm of one of the armchairs and interviews three of the bachelorette party goers who sit on a couch opposite her.

VERONICA: Did Heidi say anything about being unhappy or having second thoughts?

MAGGIE: No, she's more of the act-now-think-later type of girl.

JEN: Her first love, Nick, she had his name tattooed on her ass after a week.

KIM: It was two weeks, and she had it removed.

JEN: When? She didn't tell me.

KIM: It took, like, six weeks. That's why she waited so long to sleep with Paul. She didn't want him to see it.

MAGGIE: And he thinks he found himself the last nice girl.

JEN: Oh my god, did you guys hear about Nick's mother? She fell off her roof putting up a satellite dish.


VERONICA: Okay, let's try to stay on topic. Um, did anything out of the ordinary happen last night?

MAGGIE: Packaged Meat was pretty extra-ordinary.

KIM: I lost my cell phone.

VERONICA: "Packaged..."?

MAGGIE: The all-male revue we took her to.

JEN: There was this guy creeping around at the Happy Horseshoe. She said she'd seen him before, like he was following her. She had the bouncers kick him out.

VERONICA: Did any of you see him?

Maggie shakes her head.

VERONICA: When you were here, you were taking pictures.

MAGGIE: Jen got one of those novelty disposable cameras, the ones where the prints come out with penises around the borders.

VERONICA: Lovely. Where's the camera?

KIM: I gave it to Heidi. I think she took it with her.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Thank you, ladies, for all your help. If I were a novelty camera, where would I be?


Jane opens the door to Veronica. Veronica enters and gasps at the sight. There are clothes and things strewn everywhere. It looks like a bomb hit it.

JANE: Be it ever so disgusting, there's no place like Heidi's.

VERONICA: Okay, her apartment being ransacked, not a good sign.

Jane smiles.

JANE: It's okay, this is how it always looks.

Jane shuts the door as Veronica looks around warily.

JANE: Should be easy to find a camera in this, don't you think?

On a small table, there is an open bottle of wine with two glasses, one of them used and the other broken.

VERONICA: Two wine glasses. You sure she wasn't expecting company?

JANE: I'm sure. She left her cell phone charger.

VERONICA: Might be why she's not returning calls. Can you tell if she packed a bag?

Jane glances around and scoffs.

JANE: You're kidding, right?

Veronica sighs.


The doors to an elevator open. A besuited man steps out and grins as Kendall passes him to make her way inside.

MAN: Hi.

Beaver follows her into the lift, hits the button and the doors close.

KENDALL: How we doing...boss?

BEAVER: Me. Well, I'm holding up my end. I got six more properties added to the Phoenix Land Trust portfolio, two of which are beachfront. You would not believe the deals that I've gotten.

KENDALL: [disinterestedly] That's good.

BEAVER: Yeah, we're out of capital. That's bad. Maybe it's time we think outside the box, you know, find new revenue streams.

KENDALL: You know that all the investors believe that your dad's pulling the strings?

BEAVER: I know.

Kendall sighs loudly.

KENDALL: I did hear the Kane house is going up for sale.

BEAVER: That's the wrong side of town. The deals are all south.

KENDALL: I think we should buy it.

BEAVER: What have I told you about thinking?

KENDALL: [in a baby voice] That it makes my breasts smaller?

Beaver snorts derisively.

KENDALL: Have you ever considered that maybe I'm the clever one?

She runs her hand down his chest.

KENDALL: That this delightful packaging is a means to outwitting my adversary?

As Kendall gets lower, Beaver grabs her hand and thrusts it away.

BEAVER: Consider it? I'm banking on it.

KENDALL: But have you considered that, um, you're my adversary? My name's on everything, right?

Beaver glances over at her and smiles. The lift reaches its destination and the doors open. Beaver steps out and Kendall follows.

BEAVER: Oh yes it is.


Cliff is standing in front of Logan who is sitting on the couch. Cliff is holding his open diary.

CLIFF: So, they've set a trial date sixty days from today.

LOGAN: Whatever will I wear?

CLIFF: The D.A.'s offering a one-time deal, plea bargain.

LOGAN: Well, I'm not interested.

CLIFF: You should be. They're talking involuntary manslaughter. That brings your maximum sentence down from eleven years to four. With good behavior, if you could muster some, you'd be out in half that.

LOGAN: Two years?

Cliff sighs and sits on the ottoman opposite Logan.

CLIFF: Logan, let me remind you, the prosecution has witnesses, the good kind, eye-witnesses.

LOGAN: Cholo low lives and a lying coke-head plastic surgeon.

CLIFF: A prominent, well-respected, coke-head doctor. And how many jurors you think we can find in Neptune who haven't been exposed to your winning charm in The Tinseltown Diaries? Jurors love convicting smug rich boys, it's a fact. I've asked around and, I hope this isn't news to you but, no one likes you.

LOGAN: Even if I had stabbed Felix, which I didn't, it would've been self-defence. I got jumped by a gang, argue that.

CLIFF: I plan to, but the doctor didn't see a gang, he saw three bikers, one of them bleeding to death, a knife in your hand. He'll testify that you weren't in peril when you stabbed Felix.

LOGAN: No deal.

Ciffs sighs again and puts his diary in his briefcase, getting ready to leave.

CLIFF: Well, if it helps you decide on your wardrobe, I'll be wearing an "I'm with Stupid" T-shirt.

Cliff rises and goes out of shot at Logan stares at him and then into space.


Veronica and Wallace exit the café.

WALLACE: Yeah, this is where I will come for cash in the middle of the night.

VERONICA: Dad said all her cards were maxed so Heidi hit three different ATMs in an hour. She made the maximum withdrawal at each.

WALLACE: What are you thinking? Well either she had some more G-strings left to stuff at Packaged Meat, or someone forced her to take that money out. Ah, man, what am I gonna tell Jane?

VERONICA: Let's not freak out until there's something concrete to freak out about.

Wallace nods and they both look ahead and stop. There's a car parked on its own on the far side of the car park.

WALLACE: You mean like finding her car abandoned in the middle of nowhere?

VERONICA: Yeah, like that.

Cut to slightly later. Veronica and Wallace are standing by Heidi's car. Veronica is on her cell phone as Wallace listens.

VERONICA: That's it? That's all you'll do?

DEPUTY: Right now that's all we can do.

Veronica scoffs and turns off the phone.

WALLACE: So, what did the sheriff's department say?

VERONICA: Nothing that inspires confidence.

Veronica moves to the door of the car, pulling out something long and thin from her bag.

VERONICA: The deputy started laughing when he heard that the missing person was at a bachelorette party.

She slides the object between the window and the car frame.

VERONICA: Said they wouldn't start looking until after the forty-eight hours had passed.

Veronica manages to unlock the car. She opens the door and leans in to search inside. She straightens and looks at Wallace.

VERONICA: Good news.


Veronica holds up a camera and gives a rueful snort.


Keith parks in a small lot in front of Magic Torch. The pickup truck is parked there together with two expensive cars. One of them is under a small awning and is being worked on by the driver of the pickup truck. Keith gets out of the car and walks towards the man.

KEITH: Working hard?

DETAILER: Working always. What can I do for you?

KEITH: You've done some detailing work for Terrence Cook?

DETAILER: You a cop?

Keith pulls out one of his business cards, handing it to the man who glances at it and puts it in his pocket before continuing to clean the car.

KEITH: I'm a private investigator working on Mr. Cook's behalf. I saw you pull up while the hangar was being searched.

DETAILER: It's time for his monthly.

KEITH: His what?

DETAILER: I have a standing contract with Terrence. That man loves his cars. I detail every one of them, once a month. You know, he used to have over forty, but ah, I guess things got tough. He's down to eight.

He chuckles.

KEITH: Explosives were found in the tall cabinet, near the Maserati. You know the one I'm talking about?

DETAILER: Yeah, sure, that's where he keeps the baby's blankets.

KEITH: The what?

DETAILER: That's what he calls the calfskin chamois. They're all he'll let me use.

KEITH: So if there had been explosives in that cabinet a month ago...

DETAILER: I would've seen 'em.

KEITH: And if you had detailed his cars yesterday...

The detailer gives a knowing shrug.

KEITH: Terrence knows you're out there once a month?

DETAILER: Oh, yeah. Yeah, he knows. I'm a half hour late, I get a call.

Keith smiles.


Jane is flicking through photos of Heidi and her party on the night of the bachelorette party.

VERONICA: I had the printers forgo the phallic framing. Penises can sometimes be distracting.

JANE: I don't know how helpful I'm gonna be; I didn't really get a good look at the guy. It was dark and loud and there were condom balloons hitting my head.

VERONICA: Just take your time.

Veronica pulls a file out of her bag. She consults it.

VERONICA: Okay, here's what we know: Heidi got two phone calls back to back at 2:55 and 2:57 AM. They were short, no messages on her machine, so we can assume she took them. The first ATM transaction was at 3:20. That tells me whoever called had something to do with her leaving.

JANE: Can't you find out who made the calls? Isn't that a P.I.'s thing, tracing phone numbers?

VERONICA: Usually we can, but the number is no longer in service and according to my father's friend at the phone company, it never was. Very odd.

JANE: Wait a minute. I think that's him.

Jane pulls out one of the photos. It is a picture of Jane, Maggie, Jen, Heidi and Kim at a small table. Shot glasses are in front of each of them. In the space between Jen and Heidi, the chest of a man standing behind them can be seen. He is wearing a red shirt on which is a logo of the face of an eye-patched cartoon duck.


JANE: There.

VERONICA: Jane, that's a torso.

JANE: It's the shirt. I remember his shirt.

VERONICA: Is that a bowling shirt?


Aaron has a visitor. As the guard behind him watches with interest, Aaron speaks into the phone to the person on the other side of the glass.

AARON: So, to what do I owe the pleasure?

KENDALL: I'm here to tempt you, Aaron.

AARON: Well, mission accomplished. Or should I say, "With what?"

KENDALL: Huge tracts of land, more action than I can handle. I'm here to offer you a piece.

AARON: So, I guess Big Dick still has his fingers in a few pies, huh?

KENDALL: My husband's got quite a reach. Some are saying that uh, he might be working abroad.

Kendall winks and Aaron chuckles. Kendall deepens her voice to seduction level.

KENDALL: Aaron, how would you like to walk out of here a richer man?

Aaron lets outs a long breath.

AARON: You're cash-strapped. No, I get it. I can help. But...

Aaron holds the phone away from his ear, keeping only the mouthpiece near his face.

AARON: ...quid pro quo, Mrs. C.

His eyes take on a crazed look.

AARON: Quid pro quo.

He takes air in through his teeth as if noisily sucking up a liquid, mimicking Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs. He preens for Kendall.

KENDALL: Impressive Hannibal.

Aaron chuckles again.

KENDALL: Well, they told me the glass is bulletproof, but I'm betting I can talk you through it.

Kendall, wearing a tight, cheetah skin top which zips up the front, slowly unzips to show even more cleavage. Aaron draws the phone across his mouth, licking it, watching with interest for a moment.

AARON: Something else.

KENDALL: Oh. I'm all ears.

AARON: You know my son, Logan? He hangs out with the Casablancas kid all the time.

KENDALL: We've...met.

AARON: Well maybe you can find a reason to drop by his hotel room.

KENDALL: I guess. If I really tried.

Aaron smiles.


Music: "Lost Art" by Mere Mortals.

LYRICS: On the night of a new sensation
You sold out to the daydream nation
You breathe in and you hold it hard
Baby, you're a lost art

Logan wanders though a convenience store-cum-diner. He picks up some candy. Logan is being watched by a couple of Mexican kids who are glaring at him. Logan notices. One of them is Arturo, the PCH biker from 214 "Versatile Toppings." The other boy shakes his head, sneering at Logan, and the two boys leave.


Cut to later as Logan exits the store. Stands of Auto Trader magazines are either side of the doorway and the windows are covered in advertisements for the products inside, such as fine wines, hot dogs, low carb wraps, torpedoes, ham or turkey sandwiches and combos. Logan heads for the Xterra. The two boys are riding their bikes behind him. End music: "Lost Art" by Mere Mortals.


Logan whips around. As Arturo passes him on his bike, he spits in Logan's eye.

ARTURO: Ve a el diablo! [Translation: Go to the devil!]

The boys ride off as Logan wipes the spit away. He says "Fuck" to himself.


Hannah is curled up next to Logan on a sofa. They are watching a DVD. Hannah looks up at Logan.

HANNAH: What's up, you?

She presses his stomach.

LOGAN: What?

Logan kisses her forehead, then looks her in the eye.

LOGAN: Nothing.

HANNAH: You lie. Easy Rider. Your choice, not mine. I should be the one sulking.

Logan chuckles softly.

HANNAH: You know what the punishment is for lying.

Logan smiles.

LOGAN: What?

HANNAH: You lose a nipple.

Hannah grabs Logan's nipple and his face contorts as they start to wrestle.

LOGAN: Ow. Are you crazy? Ow. Don't do it again. Crazy.

A figure appears before them, stopping their laughter and play.

STEPH: Hannah. May I see you in the kitchen for a minute?

HANNAH: I guess. Mom, this is Logan.

LOGAN: Mrs. Griffith, it's nice to meet you.

Steph's demeanour remains icy.

LOGAN: So, this is a great place you have here.

STEPH: Denenberg. And it's Ms.

LOGAN: Oh, sorry.

Hannah rises to join her mother in the kitchen. Logan stands too.

LOGAN: Uh...Hey, uh, while you two are in the kitchen, do you mind if I use your computer for a second? I just wanna check some fantasy scores.

Steph points.

STEPH: It's in the den.

LOGAN: Thanks.

Cut to a few moment later. Logan is in the den at Steph's computer. Her mousepad is a week's diary page where she's written things to do, such as go to a birthday party for Chris on Thursday. Logan uses the mouse to access her email on the screen. He glances towards the kitchen as he pulls up an email from Tom Griffith MD, FACS at DrGriffith@NeptuneCosmetic.com. Using Steph's email, Steph Denenberg steph5570@cybolt.com, Logan composes an email to Griffith on the subject heading of "Thought you should know..." the following: "Thought you should know, found birth control" and stops. He backspaces through "birth control" and types "CONDOMS" in its place and continues: "in Hannah's room. We need to talk." Logan glances at the kitchen again before expelling his breath. There's a click as he sends the message. In the kitchen, Steph is pleading with Hannah.

STEPH: Honey, open your eyes. The guy's bad news.

HANNAH: You don't even know him. How can you say that?

STEPH: Bum fights?

HANNAH: Okay, that was a long time ago. God, you're so judgmental.

STEPH: I know. I'm awful. What kind of mother would prohibit her daughter from dating a boy who's awaiting trial for manslaughter?

HANNAH: Almost all patenting books eschew the use of sarcasm with adolescents so, you know.

STEPH: Fine. Here it is, stripped of the sarcasm: He's a phony. He's ugly on the inside. All he wants from you is sex and he's gonna break your heart.

HANNAH: You're wrong.

Now in the lounge, Logan can hear every word.

HANNAH: [offscreen] You don't know Logan. Everybody's already decided that he's this bad guy, but...I know him.

Back in the kitchen, Hannah holds her ground.

HANNAH: They don't and you don't.

Logan enters the kitchen.

LOGAN: God bless Tracy McGrady.

Logan sinks a fantasy basketball. Hannah turns to look at him as Steph glares.

LOGAN: Life is good.

Logan glances at each of them. He notices the bag of rubbish Steph is holding.

LOGAN: That looks heavy. Why don't cha let me take it out for ya.

Logan steps forward. Steph hesitates, then thrusts the bag at him. Logan takes it, glances at Hannah again and leaves the kitchen.


Music: "Oh My" by Mellowdrone.

LYRICS: What may I ask is never enough
It's never too sweet and never it's too much
What's there to do while you're waiting in turn
Just pick on your scabs and watch a cigarette burn
No, no, no
No, no, no
No, no, no
It's just that I act so stupid sometimes
I forget all the rules of waiting in line
Don't get me wrong 'cause I'm happy to be
Anything but...still
Oh my, what a wonderful day
Oh my, what a wonderful day for me
Oh my, what a wonderful day
Oh my, what a wonderful day for...

A ball hit the centre pin and a strike is achieved. Veronica walks along the back of the alleys, trying to look at the bowlers carefully. The photo is in her hand. She glances over to the counter and approaches the man in charge of the shoes. She hands him the photo.

VERONICA: Excuse me, do you recognize this shirt?

The man takes the photo, examines it and then points as he returns the picture to Veronica.

ATTENDANT: Right over there.


Veronica heads in the indicated direction.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: The One-Eyed Ducks, perennial champs, lane five.

Veronica stops behind the alley where the One-Eyed Ducks are playing. She notes them each in turn.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: That guy's too big. That guy's too small. That guy's...

Staring at the back of a figure, Veronica pauses until the person turns around.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: ...not a guy, just in desperate need of a stylist.

Veronica concentrates on the man just about to bowl.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: But that guy looks just right.

He bowls and hits a strike. He raises his arms in the air then falls down onto his back, thrusting his arms and legs into the air.


He scrambles up and points in triumph at his team members. Veronica smiles as she recognises Vinnie Vanlowe.

VINNIE: What did I tell you? What did I tell you?

On the other hand, Vinnie's enthusiasm evaporates when he notices her. He touches his forehead in a salute as he stares at her. End music: "Oh My" by Mellowdrone. Cut to a little later. Vinnie and Veronica are standing at the food/drink counter, where flamin' meat sticks go for $2.00, and Vinnie is served a beer.

BARTENDER: Here you go.

VINNIE: Sure you don't want one? It's dollar draft night.

Veronica shakes her head as Vinnie pays for his beer.

VINNIE: Come on, have a beer. We'll let you roll a frame.

VERONICA: Vinnie, this is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

Vinnie pushes himself off the bar and heads back to the alley. Veronica follows.

VERONICA: What can you tell me about--

VINNIE: Nothing.

VERONICA: Of course, your Pavlovian response. Her name was Heidi Kuhne.

VINNIE: Doesn't ring a bell.

Vinnie stops to pick up a crisp and pops it in his mouth.

VERONICA: Let me jog your memory: you were thrown out of the Happy Horseshoe the other night for stalking her.

VINNIE: If I had a dime for every time I was thrown out of H squared for stalking...

They pause.

VERONICA: What was it? A little prenup background check?

VINNIE: Well if you already know.

VERONICA: She's missing.

VINNIE: Are you suggesting I kidnapped her? 'Cause, I believe that's your racket.

VERONICA: Do you know where she is?

VINNIE: Negatory.

VERONICA: Who hired you? The groom? His family? You fill them in on her party-girl past?

VINNIE: Ah, that, Curious Georgette, is P.I.-client privilege. Now if you'll excuse me, my ducks need me. Quack quack.

Veronica watches him go with an almost indulgent shake of her head.


Logan leaves the house. Hannah follows him out and they walk slowly to the pavement.

HANNAH: You heard what my mom said, didn't you?

LOGAN: Yeah, I got the gist.

HANNAH: Just ignore her. She's bitter about the divorce. She thinks all men are evil.

LOGAN: Well, maybe she's right.

HANNAH: What, about men?

Logan halts and faces Hannah.

LOGAN: No. About me.

HANNAH: Let's get out of here, go to your place.

Logan smiles.

LOGAN: Well, I know the words coming out of your mouth are "go to your place," but all I hear is "Let's have sex."


Logan stares at her, dumbstruck.

HANNAH: Logan?

LOGAN: [strangled] That sounds good.

Logan leans forward and kisses her. She kisses back.


Keith is waiting. Lamb comes into the department and Keith leaps up.

KEITH: Lamb, I've been trying to get a hold of you.

LAMB: And I've been ducking your calls. Man, that feels good to get off my chest.

Lamb gives Keith a patronising slap on his arm and strides away from him. Keith hurries to outpace him.

KEITH: Hey, you think I like bringing any of this to you?

Keith forces Lamb to a halt by stopping in front of him.

KEITH: Just hear me out. Terrence has a guy who details his fleet of cars every month. He keeps his chamois in the same cabinet where the explosives were found. Now, why would he keep that damning evidence at all? That's the first question. And the second question: why would he keep them where they were sure to be found?

LAMB: Valid questions. I'll be sure and ask him when he gets out of surgery.

Lamb presses past Keith who turns to address Lamb's back.

KEITH: Surgery? What happened?

Lamb turns to face Keith again.

LAMB: He got shot.

KEITH: Who shot him?

LAMB: You know the, uh, journalism teacher who died on the bus, Miss Dumass? Her father. He caught Terrence Cook breaking into the family home in San Francisco. Strange behavior for an innocent man, don't you think?

Lamb raises his eyebrows before patting Keith again on his arm and disappearing into his office. Keith is left standing and perplexed.


Mr. Pope is in full flow in the FBLA lesson.

POPE: If you read this morning's paper, then you probably already know that tracking polls indicate there's fifty-seven per cent support for Neptune's incorporation. Question: what's that gonna do to us here?

BEAVER: Ah, an actual police department.

POPE: Mm-hmm.

DICK: Private beaches.

VERONICA: The rich get richer.

Logan takes a breath to quip.

POPE: All right, let's stop there. All those are true, but let's not just focus on the potential upside. Sure we could speculate, but why do so when we already have a model we can study?

Pope moves to the switch by the open door to turn off the lights. As he heads back into the room, his remote at the ready, Hannah passes in the hallway. She pauses and blows Logan a kiss. He catches it, gazes at his fingers and smiles to himself. Veronica stares at him, unimpressed. Logan feels her stare and turns to looks at her.

VERONICA: [mockingly cutesy] Aww.

Logan mimics the "Aww" in a whisper as Pope continues, the screen's opening slide headed "Palo Alto, California."

POPE: Palo Alto, California.

The next slide shows a drawing of an idyllic park.

POPE: In the heart of Silicon Valley.

He continues to click through the slides, graphics of each of the points he makes.

POPE: Home to Stanford University, Hewlett-Packard, and the epicenter of the late nineties technology boom.

As Pope wanders past, Logan, who has rolled his papers into a tight roll, makes as if ramming the roll up Pope's...uh...

POPE: But before the whole dot-com craze began, Palo Alto was a diverse community, not unlike our Neptune.

On the slide behind him are set out median prices for 1970 - Household Income: $35328, Single Family Home: $70,000, 1 acre plot: $7,000 - and some features of Palo Alto such as "Diverse Community" and "Shared Community Resources."

POPE: When they incorporated, they effectively put up a wall between the economic classes. And what resulted after a very short time was an ultra-rich center surrounded by...

Pope clicks the remote at the screen. Figures appear for 1990. There are a series of charts noting drugs rates, crime rate and median home prices, inside and outside the incorporation area.

POPE: ...the crime capital of America. Those who were smart dumped their unincorporated property to suckers before the bottom fell out. Property values in the city skyrocketed while land outside the incorporation became worthless.

With an increasingly furrowed brow as Pope talks, Beaver jerks his head up to look at the screen.

POPE: Now, let's take a look at your progress in the stock market game.

The 2005-6 FBLS Porfolio Race graph appears. Beaver is well ahead with $3248756.00. Next is Boyd L. on $2274129.20 and Veronica is not far behind him. Gia's name is next (on the basis the initial is a G) and she's just under $1624378.00. Three students, Chris M., Dale R. and Misha S., are between $1000000.00 and $500000.00. Logan is next, barely off at the first marker of $324875.60. Dick and Duncan are on zero.

POPE: As you can see, the younger Mr. Casablancas has extended his lead. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a young man with true business acumen.

Beaver smiles but looks worried.


Dick and Beaver tumble out of the classroom followed closely behind by Veronica whose cell is ringing. She answers.



The camera looks through the window into the office as Keith paces.

KEITH: Your missing person is a little less missing. She used her cell phone twice this morning, both one-minute calls.

VERONICA: [offscreen] Who'd she call?

KEITH: Paul Mann. Know who that is?


Veronica is striding through the halls.

VERONICA: Yeah, her fiancée. What if Heidi's still in town? What if she's just hiding from her family? She might pick up the phone if she doesn't recognize the caller I.D.

KEITH: [offscreen] Cold feet, honey. It's always cold feet.

Veronica ends the call with a shake of her head. She dials another number. Her face creases in puzzlement as she gets a fax tone.


Jane opens the door to Veronica.

VERONICA: Hey, does Heidi have a fax?

JANE: Yeah, somewhere. Mm.

Jane shuts the door and thinks for a moment. She heads over to the desk and checks behind a carrier bag and then under a throw on a chair next to it. She uncovers a fax machine.

JANE: Here it is. Why?

VERONICA: When I called the apartment, the fax picked up, which means it's on the same line.

JANE: Well it's been switched to fax since she's been gone. Does that matter?

VERONICA: Remember the two calls she got? What if someone was trying to fax her?

Veronica bends down to the machine and presses one of its buttons.

VERONICA: She would have heard the fax tone on the first call and then switched over the machine so that the second time it went through. Now if this fax machine has storage capability...

The machine whirrs and starts to print off a fax.

JANE: Who'd be faxing her at three in the morning?

VERONICA: That's what I'd like to know.

The fax is a band flyer for XLR8's West Coast Tour 2006. The venues are: 2.13 Halfshell Pub, Leucadia, Ca.; 2.14 Avesta Bar, Los Angeles, Ca.; 2.16 Centre Mall, Bakersfield, Ca.; 2.17 Jumpstarter, Fresno, Ca.; 2.20 The Pulse, Hayward, Ca.; 2.21 Forgottener, San Francisco, Ca.; 2.22 Baker's Doce, Weed, Ca.; 2.23 Lone Pine Lodge, Klamath Falls, Or.; 2.24 Shiner Bar, Salem, Or. At the bottom, is the message to "Buy our new album. FootMeetsPedal."

VERONICA: Some flyer from a band called "XLR8."

JANE: Accelerate. That's Nick's band, Heidi's old boyfriend.

VERONICA: The one whose name she had de-inked from her buttocks?

Jane nods. Veronica reads a handwritten note on the flyer: "Babe - I need to see you - Nick."

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Apparently, Nick needs to see Heidi.

Music: "Sometimes the Sun" by the Lashes.

LYRICS: It's been so long since I've seen your face except inside of my head
Counting down the days 'til you're home hoping then we'll share a bed
Sometimes we fight about the little things, but now they seem like such little things
I woke up from so many dreams with visions of buying diamond rings
Sometimes the sun goes down, sometimes it comes back up
I'm wondering which one you are watching now


There's a queue for entrance into a small bar. Veronica walks along it, heading for the bouncer at the door.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: According to Jane, it's been three years since Nick and Heidi were hot and heavy. You can laser a guy's name off your ass, but I wonder whether you can really ever cut him out of your heart.

Veronica shows the flyer to the bouncer who grunts and points to a bus outside the car park. Veronica heads for it and knocks on the door of the bus.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: I guess if I do find my runaway bride, we'll have the next twelve hours to discuss the matter while waiting for the next train home from San Luis Obispo.

A guy with a beard opens the door.

GUY: Yeah?

VERONICA: You got a Heidi Kuhne in there?


Veronica makes her way to the back of the bus then stops when she sees Heidi sitting at a small table with Nick.

HEIDI: I know you.

VERONICA: What the hell is going on, Heidi?

End music: "Sometimes the Sun" by the Lashes. Cut to a few moments later. Veronica is seated at the table, opposite Heidi and Nick.

HEIDI: [sceptically] My family hired you to track me down?

VERONICA: Actually, Jane did.

HEIDI: You're twelve.

VERONICA: I'm eighteen.

HEIDI: You're a barista.


Veronica struggles with a slight show of temper.

VERONICA: Fine, I'm a barista. Look, you know you're supposed to be getting married in twelve hours, right? Your sister has been really worried about you. She thought you had some bad pre-wedding jitters and then we found your car abandoned--

HEIDI: A-as in parked, like thirty feet from the bus station?

Veronica takes the hit.

VERONICA: It was dark and it was after we went to your apartment and saw two glasses of wine, one was broken.

HEIDI: Which was why I poured the second glass. Maybe you should stick to making coffee. None of this matters anyway because the wedding is off.

NICK: It is?

VERONICA: [irritated] You might want to let someone know.

HEIDI: Paul can announce it. He's the one who ran back to his old flame.

VERONICA: And you parked your car and took a bus to yours.

HEIDI: I came to see Nick because his mom is in bad shape and he needed me. I called Paul to tell him where I was but he didn't return my calls. Then I get these text messages from my friend, Kim, telling me she saw him leaving his ex's place at dawn.

VERONICA: And Paul's supposed to be totally cool with you going on the road with Nick?

HEIDI: Yeah.

Now it's Veronica's turn to be sceptical.

HEIDI: He sent me the fax. I just came up here to be a friend.

Nick looks uncomfortable.

VERONICA: Nick, how did you manage to send a fax from an unlisted phone number when the phone company says that number never existed.

NICK: Yeah...

He turns to Heidi.

NICK: I didn't send that fax.

HEIDI: You said--

NICK: You said you got my fax. I just didn't correct you.

HEIDI: It was hand-written.

NICK: I was just so stoked to see you.

As they talk, Veronica has a revelation.

VERONICA: Nick didn't send the fax and Kim didn't text-message you. She lost her phone the night of the bachelorette party.

HEIDI: Well then who?

VERONICA: A private detective named Vinnie Vanlowe.

HEIDI: But, why?

Veronica thinks.


A reverend and Paul Mann stand under a small gazebo. In front of it stand six people dressed in wedding finery, one of them being Jane. The guests start muttering in an embarrassed fashion. The reverend looks at his watch.

REVEREND: I, uh, have another wedding at four. If no one's seen your bride...

PAUL: Don't worry. She's just a free spirit, marching to her own drum.

Behind him, running along a hedge, is Heidi in her wedding dress, with Veronica trotting behind her, holding her train.

HEIDI: Coming! Coming!

Jane grins as Heidi runs up the small steps to join the wedding party. Paul, on the other hand, appears to be quite miffed as Heidi joins him under the gazebo, as do Paul's parents, one of the watching older couples. Veronica stays back by the steps to observe.

HEIDI: Sorry I'm late! Let's get married.

PAUL: Where have you been?

HEIDI: Oh, we have a whole lifetime for stories. Let's do this thing. Lay it on me, Preacher Man.

Heidi does a "bring it on" gesture to the reverend.

PAUL: No, I-I demand to know what you've been up to.

HEIDI: I didn't ask you what you were doing for your bachelor party. And after finding whipped cream in your underwear, I think I was entitled.

PAUL: You were entitled, you. The one who sexed up every wannabe rock star in southern California? You know, if I wanted to marry Tawny Kitaen, I would have got a nipple pierced.

HEIDI: How could you say that to me? Like I would ever sex up a drummer.

Veronica laughs.

HEIDI: Lead singers, yes, maybe the occasional guitar player. The important thing is that we love each other.

PAUL: How can you expect me to love a used-up groupie like you?

HEIDI: Wow. Ouch, honey, kind of harsh. Are you breaking it off?

PAUL: Damn right, I am--

Paul's father interjects.

MANN: Paul! No!

Heidi casts him a knowing glance.

HEIDI: Fair enough.

Heidi turns back to Paul. She holds up the ring.

HEIDI: So, I guess I'll be keeping this precious family heirloom, 'cause those are the rules in polite society, aren't they? I mean, if-if I backed out or didn't show up, I'd have to give you the ring back, right?

Paul glances at his parents, aware of his mistake.

HEIDI: You know the funny thing? You could've just said it's over and I would've given you the ring back. This'll be payment for the two years I wasted trying to convince you I was worthy.

Heidi turns to the guests and throws up her arms.

HEIDI: Enjoy the reception!

VERONICA VOICEOVER: By the looks of it, I'd guess the elder Mr. Mann commissioned the background check, but it was his son that couldn't live with the information.

HEIDI: Come on, Jane.

Jane, grinning ear to ear, takes Heidi's arm and they march away.

HEIDI: [loudly] Are pawn shops open on Saturdays?

As they pass Veronica, Heidi gives her a wink. Veronica laughs and then turns to watch them go.


Kendall, in a low-cut, clingy dress, is making a presentation to Logan, who is lounging on the sofa.

KENDALL: And that is why the Phoenix Land Trust is where you should put your money.

LOGAN: I'm confused. You're talking and your clothes are on. I'm starting to think you really came over here to try and sell me real estate.

KENDALL: I told you. It's my job.

There's a knock on the door.

LOGAN: And that must be the second sign of the apocalypse.

Logan gets up to answer the door.

KENDALL: Well, I tried. Uh, do you mind if I freshen up before I go?

LOGAN: Freshen up for what?

Kendall spins around and heads for Duncan's room. Logan opens the door of the suite. It's Tom Griffith.

GRIFFITH: All right, Logan, you win. I'm serious. This stops now.

Griffith walks past Logan and into the suite. Logan continues to look out into the hallway.

LOGAN: Sure, come on in.

He shuts the door. In Logan's room, pictures of Duncan with Veronica and with Lilly stand on the counter between the bedroom and bathroom. Kendall, glancing back at the lounge area, walks into the bathroom. She takes a small case out of her purse as she opens the shower door. She takes out a small pair of tweezers from the case and applies them to the shower drain. Cut to a moment later. Kendall walks out of Duncan's room. Logan and Griffith are glaring at each other. They turn look at her as she walks towards them.

KENDALL: I see you have company.

Griffith can't quite believe it.

KENDALL: I'll let myself out but, um...

Kendall kisses two of her fingers and places them on Logan's lips.

KENDALL: ...think about my offer.

Logan grins. Kendall walks between them and exits the suite, pausing at the door to give the men the full benefit of her side profile. Logan turns back to Griffith, smirking.

GRIFFITH: Mark my words, some day that smirk is gonna get wiped off your face.

LOGAN: Oh, please. Let the lying coke-head plastic surgeon lecture me on karma.

GRIFFITH: It certainly caught up with me. It ends now. I'll make my testimony go away.

LOGAN: What about the Fitzpatricks?

GRIFFITH: Let me worry about them. You just stay the hell away from my daughter.

Logan stares at him.

GRIFFITH: I assume we have a deal?

Logan barely nods. Griffiths storms out of the suite. Logan stands in place, not celebrating his victory.


Veronica is working. She wipes the top of the chilled cabinet, rounding the corner to the front, only to find Vinnie Vanlowe bending down, peering in at the cakes. He stands.

VINNIE: I don't believe this.

VERONICA: If it isn't the puppet master.

VINNIE: Hey, what a man does in the privacy of his own home, office, and/or car, is his business. You know, you cost me a five grand bonus.

Veronica gasps.

VERONICA: You were gonna buy a new jacket?

VINNIE: And give up the cheap women? Not likely.

VERONICA: Give it.

Veronica holds out her hand.


VERONICA: Kim's cell phone. I called you, left a threatening message.

Much to Veronica's impatience, Vinnie glances around before taking a cell phone from his pocket and handing it to her.

VINNIE: You didn't get it from me.

VERONICA: Exactly how many times have you had to say that in your life?

Vinnie opens his mouth to answer then closes it again.

VERONICA: You know what's really disturbing about you? Other than everything? You're a halfway decent private investigator.

VINNIE: Stop, you're embarrassing me.

VERONICA: You can embarrass the shameless?

Veronica drops her cloth on the cabinet and walks past Vinnie. She goes to one of the tables, where Wallace and Jane are having their drinks.

VERONICA: This is for your sister's friend, Kim.

Veronica puts the phone on the table.

JANE: Thank you, Veronica.

Jane reaches into her bag and pulls out her own phone, handing it to Veronica.

JANE: Check it out.

There is a picture of Heidi and Nick hugging.

JANE: Heidi headed up to the L.A. Jewelry Exchange, hocked the ring, and kept right on going to Nick's next show.

WALLACE: So how does it feel to play Cupid?

Veronica thinks for a moment.

VERONICA: Uncomfortable. This better last.

Veronica hands Jane her phone back.

JANE: Guess you never know where true love's gonna find you.

VERONICA: If it comes looking for me, I'll be over by the espresso machine.

Veronica heads back to the counter. Logan arrives just as she gets there.

LOGAN: Hey. Uh, I know you're busy, but uh, I think I've done something horrible.

Veronica stares up at him worriedly. End. Executive producer Rob Thomas (who is a god).