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1.18 Weapons of Class Destruction

Written by: Jed Seidel
Directed by: John T Kretchmer

Original Air Date: 12 April, 2005
Transcribed by Inigo

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars…

At the rehab centre, as Veronica signs the cheque, Lianne tries to stop her in 116 Betty and Veronica.

LIANNE: I can do this. I can kick this on my own. There is nothing twelve weeks in here can do that I can’t do myself.

VERONICA: I want you to come home. I miss you.

At Mars Investigations, Veronica slams shut her laptop to stop Logan from seeing more in 117 Kanes and Abel’s.

LOGAN: God, Veronica.

VERONICA: I don’t know what you saw.

LOGAN: A file on Duncan.

Later at Mars Investigations, Veronica and Keith discuss the Lilly Kane murder.

VERONICA: Obviously Jake and Celeste lied about their alibis. What made you think they were involved in covering up Lilly’s death?

Flashback to Keith at the Kanes on the night of the murder. He hears the buzzer of the dryer.

KEITH: Doing some laundry?

The camera focuses in turn on each of the Kanes. Switch back to Keith.

KEITH: Honey, it was a soccer uniform I found in the dryer.

End previously.


Veronica and Leo are kissing outside the door to the apartment. They break, Leo’s hands still resting on Veronica’s waist and hers on his arms.

LEO: Any chance I’m ever gonna get to see the inside of your apartment?

VERONICA: And what, exactly, are you hoping to see? Our good china, the screening room?

LEO: Wanted to get a really good long look at your bedroom ceiling.

VERONICA: Wow! College girls must be easy.

LEO: This is my A material. They swoon.

VERONICA: My dad’s home. I saw his car outside.

LEO: But he’s cool with us, right?

VERONICA: Like, has he made a couple of remarks about the 29 month age difference? He has. On the other hand, he likes the fact that you carry a gun. Not so much that he’s okay to sleepover but, yeah, he likes you.

Leo gently strokes Veronica’s hair.

LEO: I’ll call ya tomorrow.

VERONICA: Later, deputy.

LEO: Later.

Leo exits and Veronica enters the apartment.


Veronica sees Keith at the refrigerator.

VERONICA: Ah, the pretend-to-be-digging-in-the-fridge-rather-than-spying-on-your-daughter ploy. Bravo.

KEITH: Veronica, we need to talk.

VERONICA: [in southern drawl] He’s a fine gentleman, pa. He’ll come up with the dowry to marry me, just you wait.

KEITH: But seriously, folks. Sit down.

Veronica sits down on the stool at the kitchen counter.

KEITH: I know how uncomfortable you are with the idea of me dating and I’ve done everything in my power to respect that, but…your mom’s been gone for over a year now.

VERONICA: [worried] You met someone?

KEITH: I have. But I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure I had feelings for this person. A-Alicia and I talked about it and-

Veronica is shocked.

VERONICA: What? Who? Alicia? [incredulous] Wallace’s mom?


Wallace jerks up from leaning over the bathroom sink, toothbrush still in his mouth. He is horrified.

WALLACE: Say what?

ALICIA: Well, from your reaction I’d say your heard me just fine.


Veronica stares at Keith, open mouthed.

Opening credits.


Wallace and Veronica sit at one of the outside tables. They are not comfortable with each other and are silent for an age.

VERONICA: On the bright side, if our parents get hitched, we could have bunk beds and stay up all night talking.

Wallace is not amused.

WALLACE: You’re truly sick.

VERONICA: I’ve always wanted a little brother I could dress up like a little doll.

WALLACE: Yeah? See how that works out for you.

Wallace stacks his books and stalks off. Veronica watches him go, a sad look on her face. As she looks down at the table, she sees someone has written “” on it. She looks a little concerned and glances around.


Duncan enters the room. Veronica is already there, seated at the large central table. Duncan smiles and touches her arm as he passes her, heading around the top of the table. Veronica watches him.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Dear Seventeen Magazine. How can I tell if the super cute boy in my class likes me?

Duncan reaches the top of the table where Logan is sitting on the table. They exchange playful punches. Veronica continues to muse as her eyes follow Duncan.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: No. Scratch that. Dear Seventeen. How can I tell if the super cute boy in my class killed his own sister?

MS STAFFORD: [offscreen, clapping] Come on, buckaroos.

At the front of the class is the new, extremely chirpy, journalism teacher, Ms Stafford.

MS STAFFORD: We’re burning daylight here.

Veronica glances at Duncan with a bit of an eye roll. The corners of Logan’s mouth twitch and Duncan stares at Ms Stafford sceptically.

MS STAFFORD: [offscreen] So a new edition of the Navigator comes out tomorrow and we’re still short on articles.

Logan takes his seat at the top of the table, next to Veronica.

MS STAFFORD: Let’s do something fun.

Logan shares a conspiratorial grin with Veronica.

DUNCAN: How about something on oxycontin replacing ecstasy as the drug of choice for high school students?

Veronica nods at Duncan, impressed.

MS STAFFORD: I’m sure your parents don’t want to read about drugs at the school where they sent their precious little ones.

VERONICA: I’m sorry. I thought the newspaper was for the students.

MS STAFFORD: Where’s your Pirate Pride, y’all, lots of good stuff happens here.

Veronica looks a little depressed and sighs, Duncan leans back in his chair, disgusted and Logan just keeps grinning.

MS STAFFORD: Did you know that Madame Rousseau’s been teaching French here for forty years now? Maybe someone could do an in-depth profile?

LOGAN: A loving tribute to a sadistic crone.

The students, including Veronica, laugh.

MS STAFFORD: The janitors work so hard and no one even pays attention to them. Maybe we could do something on them?

STUDENT: [snidely] Maybe.

Further discussion is cut short by the fire alarm. Duncan throw his hands up.

DUNCAN: Oh, what is with these fire drills? This is the third one this week.

LOGAN: [quietly, to Veronica] Maybe we should do a story on oxycontin use in the administration office.

Veronica laughs again.

MS STAFFORD: Okay, Pirates. Single file. Straight line.

At the front of the room, Ms Stafford is handling the drill in pep squad manner, a fact not lost on Logan. He jumps up enthusiastically.

LOGAN: Heads up, chests out, big smiles. Ready? Okay.

The students file out.


Veronica leads Duncan, Logan and the other students out as Ms Stafford catches up with her.

MS STAFFORD: You know what? There’s a good story for you, the fire drills.

VERONICA: A fire drill story! Someone alert the Pulitzer Committee.

MS STAFFORD: You’ll find a way to make it interesting. I believe in you.

Duncan, close behind them, smiles. Ms Stafford rushes on ahead as Duncan pulls next to Veronica.

DUNCAN: Not exactly Ms Dent, is she?

VERONICA: Not even close. She was overly peppy as my pep squad advisor, as a journalism teacher, she’s a nightmare.

DUNCAN: Lots of stories about bake sales and blue ribbons.

VERONICA: Why, oh, why did Ms Dent let herself get knocked up?


Mr Clemmons is at the open drawer of a filing cabinet.

VERONICA: [offscreen, in hard-nosed journalist mode] So what’s the skinny on the fire drills, Mr C? Faulty hotplate in the faculty lounge?

As Clemmons digests the less-than-welcome questions, the camera pans out to reveal Veronica sitting in front of his desk.

VERONICA: Gremlin gumming up the works?

CLEMMONS: No, we’re simply following the district-wide policy for mid-semester fire drills. We let ourselves get a bit behind.

VERONICA: Really? Because if memory serves, it was like one or two a year. There have been three this week alone.

Clemmons closes the drawer and heads back to his desk.

CLEMMONS: I’m sorry there’s not a more entertaining explanation. It’s just district policy.

He sits downs at his desk.

CLEMMONS: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some paperwork to catch up on.

He looks at her impatiently. Veronica exits.


Ms Stafford is at her desk in the journalism room. Veronica enters.

MS STAFFORD: How’s the story coming?

VERONICA: I’m blowing the lid off the fire safety policy. Hey, do you know how I can find out what the official district mandate is?

MS STAFFORD: Have you spoken to Miss Roush? She’s the Assistant Superintendent; she’s definitely your source.

Ms Stafford checks her notebook.

MS STAFFORD: Um, I think I have her number. Here.

Veronica points to the phone on Ms Stafford’s desk.


MS STAFFORD: Of course.

Ms Stafford leaves Veronica to it. Veronica perches on the desk and dials. The phone is answered by a woman with a distinctive, raspy voice.

MISS ROUSH: Ellen Roush.

VERONICA: Miss Roush, this is Veronica Mars. I’m doing an article for the Navigator, the school paper at Neptune High.

MISS ROUSH: How can I help you?

VERONICA: I just wanted to clarify something. How many fire drills does the district mandate each semester?

MISS ROUSH: Just one is our policy.

Veronica is intrigued.


Veronica is in a school hall empty save for Corny, who is staring blankly into his locker.

VERONICA: Something wrong, Corny?

CORNY: Yeah, I came to get something out of my locker…but I can’t remember what it was. Mmrraa.

He turns to Veronica.

CORNY: Hey I was thinking of busting out of here. Maybe go to White Castle. Wanna come with?

VERONICA: There’s no White Castle in Neptune.

CORNY: It’s kind of an expression.

Veronica looks up, over Corny’s shoulder, at the sounds of doors opening.

CORNY: What’s wrong?

Corny looks round to see a security man with a dog entering the school.

CORNY: Oh, crap!

Corny takes a small bag of what is obviously illegal substances from his locker and sticks it down the front of his trousers. He closes his locker and, scared shitless, walks away from the threat only to walk straight into two more security men with dogs.

SECURITY #1: Here.

SECURITY #2: Okay, well, I’ll check that door.

Much to his relief, they ignore him as they pass on either side of him.

SECURITY #3: How’s she holding up?

Veronica is further intrigued and takes photos of the security men.


Clemmons is busy on his paperwork. His assistant pops her head in the door.

CLEMMONS’ ASSISTANT: Excuse me, Mr Clemmons?

She points to the phone on his desk.

CLEMMONS’ ASSISTANT: That’s Ellen Roush from the district office.

Clemmons is uncomfortable as he picks up the phone.


TELEPHONE: Van, I received a call from a very pushy student of yours who’s doing a newspaper story.

CLEMMONS: Yes, I know the girl that you’re talking about. She should never have called you.

TELEPHONE: Well, she did and she has quite a fresh attitude.

CLEMMONS: Yes. I spend half my waking hours trying to keep her out of my hair.

TELEPHONE: Mr Clemmons, she gave me the impression that you’ve been exceeding your fire drill limits.

CLEMMONS: No, uh, look, I’ve been trying to keep this under my hat but we have had a series of bomb threats and as a precautionary measure, I brought in the bomb squad.


It’s Veronica, imitating Ms Roush.

VERONICA: Well that’s very disturbing news, Mr Clemmons. Please let us know if there’s anything we can do.

Veronica cuts off the phone and ponders. Cut to a cover draft of the front page of the Neptune High School Navigator. The headline reads: Bomb Threats Force Evacuations. It is set against a graphic of a clock and dynamite upon which the headline and two photos, one of the security men and their dogs, the other of students pouring out of the school, are superimposed. It has some editing marks in red. Ms Stafford is holding it, sitting at the large table in the journalism room. Veronica and Duncan are standing behind and on either side of her.

MS STAFFORD: You’re positive about this, Veronica.

VERONICA: Mr Clemmons confirmed it. It’s accurate.

MS STAFFORD: But is it responsible?

DUNCAN: This is exactly what newspapers are supposed to do.

MS STAFFORD: Then what are we waiting for? We’re burning daylight here.

She smiles and looks up at Veronica.


Copies of the Navigator in their hands, students are reading about it, talking about it, worried about it and Veronica catches various conversations as she heads down the hallway.

Are you kidding me, I mean, is this supposed to be real?
Dude, it’s right on the front page.
Are you staying?
Are you kidding me? I’m going home. I’d rather not be here when the school blows up.
I’m going with you.
Dude, this is serious.

Veronica notices another “KillemAll,” this time on a locker.

WALLACE: You won’t believe how insane the administration office is.

Wallace comes up behind her.

WALLACE: Phones ringing off the hook. Parents going off on Clemmons. He wants to see you in his office, by the way.

VERONICA: He does? I’m beginning to think he has a crush on me.

Veronica grins as she heads for administration.


The newspaper headline drops to reveal a very unhappy Clemmons, tearing a strip off Veronica and Ms Stafford.

CLEMMONS: Let me be clear as I explain something. The Neptune Navigator is not the Washington Post. You don’t have carte blanche to print whatever you choose.

MS STAFFORD: Was story inaccurate?

CLEMMONS: That’s not the issue.

VERONICA: It’s not?

CLEMMONS: No, it’s not. Our very real duty to protect the student body trumps your non-existent right to a free student press.

MS STAFFORD: But Mr Clemmons, isn’t a newspaper supposed to be-

CLEMMONS: And what exactly is your journalism background, Ms Stafford?

MS STAFFORD: I was on my high school year book staff.

CLEMMONS: Then what do you say we play to our strengths and stick to pictures of smiling kids engaged in the multitude of enriching activities that Neptune has to offer. And Veronica, who was this highly placed source in the administration that confirmed your story?

VERONICA: Um, that would be you.

CLEMMONS: I most certainly was not.

VERONICA: [imitating Ellen Roush again] Mr Clemmons, the fresh girl gave me the impression you had been exceeding your fire drill limits.

Clemmons leans back in his chair, appalled.

VERONICA: Where are the threats coming from anyway, a student?

CLEMMONS: Veronica, I did not invite you in here for a follow up interview. This is a disciplinary meeting. You should feel lucky that you’re not suspended.

VERONICA: Maybe you’d be doing me a favour.

CLEMMONS: And Ms Stafford. You need to use better judgement in the future. No more stories on this subject. Am I understood?

MS STAFFORD: Completely.

CLEMMONS: I may have made a mistake in allowing a pep squad advisor to substitute for a journalism teacher.

Veronica casts a sympathetic look at the intimidated teacher.


Mrs Murphy paces a room that includes Veronica, Norris Clayton and, seated next to him, Ben, who is drawing in a notebook.

MRS MURPHY: Who would like to compare the character of the three Karamazov brothers? I’d like to hear from someone who hasn’t spoken today. Ben?

BEN: I didn’t read it. I thought maybe I’d wait for the mini-series.

Veronica looks over at him.

MRS MURPHY: I don’t know where you expect to end up in life with your attitude, Ben.

BEN: Well, I wouldn’t worry about it Mrs Murphy. It doesn’t matter. In the end we all wind up in the same place. Six feet under.

The class fills with whispered responses as Ben glances at an approving Norris. Veronica is not so impressed and stares hard at him. She then looks up and sees another student, Pete, who rolls his eyes and shakes his head.


Veronica gets two cans of drinks from the fridge and walks uncomfortably back towards her room. She is uncomfortable because Keith and Alicia are sitting close to each other on the couch, Keith’s arm around Alicia, watching an old black and white movie, “Storm Warning,” on tv.

TV: “And that doesn’t include your plan. Your plan murdered him, you know.” “It was an accident. We’re all sorry about it. You have to think of all the good that came out of it…”

In Veronica’s room, Wallace is pacing.

WALLACE: What’s happening?

Veronica hands Wallace one of the cans.

VERONICA: They’re still watching a movie. He has his arm around her.

WALLACE: Uh, he’s not…groping her or anything, is he?

VERONICA: [retaliating] No, but earlier I saw him cutting a hole in the bottom of his popcorn bucket.

WALLACE: That’s not funny.

VERONICA: Yeah, well my dad’s not a groper.

WALLACE: Do you think they’re serious? What does your dad say?

VERONICA: That’s the good thing. We don’t have to worry. It won’t last long. It can’t.

WALLACE: What does that mean?

VERONICA: My mom’s in rehab. When she gets cleaned up, she’s coming home.

WALLACE: And where does my mom fit into that plan?

Veronica shrugs.

WALLACE: So, I guess she’s just a placeholder then? Somebody to keep your dad from being lonely until the woman who dumped him decides she’s ready to come back?

VERONICA: What do you expect me to say, Wallace? This is my family. Two minutes ago, you didn’t want them dating either.

WALLACE: Yeah, I probably wish Mom would’ve found a guy who wasn’t my best friend’s dad, but…Mom hasn’t found a decent guy since my dad died and if she’s just gonna get burned, I need to tell her right now.

VERONICA: You can’t.

WALLACE: Why not?

VERONICA: Wallace, wait, do me a favour and just wait a few weeks.

WALLACE: I gotta say, Veronica. I’m getting a little tired of doing you favours.

Unhappy and angry, Wallace heads out to the living room. He stares for a moment at Keith and Alicia, comfortably cosy together.

TV: “You always said that what happened to one of us happened to us all.” “Get away from me.”

ALICIA: [softly] She’s like the, the private witness.

KEITH: I don’t know.

TV: “…figure it out Bits…”

WALLACE: Hey, we need to get going.

TV: “Think it over.”

Keith and Alicia look up at him, surprised.

ALICIA: Honey, we’re still watching the movie.

WALLACE: It’s getting kind of late.

TV: “Oh, Hank, Hank.”

Alicia glances up at Keith, both understanding.



Alicia and Wallace walk to their car.

ALICIA: Did you and Veronica have a fight?


ALICIA: I know this is uncomfortable for you. But I’m counting on you to be mature about this.

They stop at the car.

WALLACE: I am. I’m just looking out for you.

ALICIA: Well, you don’t have to, ‘cause I’m a big girl.

WALLACE: Yeah, I do. There’s something you need to know.

ALICIA: Wallace.

WALLACE: Just listen.

ALICIA: I don’t want to hear it.

WALLACE: Well, you need to hear it.

ALICIA: No, I don’t. What I need is for you to see how happy I am. This is the first time that I actually feel at home in this town. Keith is a very good man and that is all I need to know right now. Let me have this. Please.

Wallace shakes his head.


Veronica walks down the hallway. She can hear Pete’s voice and on rounding the door, can see Pete in deep discussion with Mac. She waits by the door.


PETE: Wait, how can you even have an opinion on Ubuntu if you haven’t tried it? Two six kernel, Live CD, they even had GNOME 2.O the day Warty Warthog came out.

MAC: I’m sorry. I’m perfectly content with OS X. I have all the awk, grep and sed I want without any need for that pitiful font de-uglification.

PETE: But the fonts are de-uglified and it’s free. Yep, fine, you know, live in the dark ages.

MAC: I know what I like and I like what I know.

Veronica steps forward into the room.

VERONICA: Hey, that iPod Mini is something else, isn’t it?

MAC: Hi, Veronica.

VERONICA: Hey. I’m sorry to interrupt. Mac, would you mind taking a look at my computer? I can’t get it to boot up.

MAC: Sure, um, could I take it with me though? I gotta boogie.

VERONICA: Yeah, everything important is password protected.

MAC: Like I really care who you have a crush on.

They chuckle. Mac exits.

PETE: Hey, Veronica, can I talk to you about something.

VERONICA: Yeah, sure.

PETE: I have some information for you. Confidential information.

She laughs, almost embarrassed.

VERONICA: My favourite kind.

PETE: It’s about your story, about the bomb threats.


PETE: Well, it got me thinking. The other day I was riding my bike to school, and I passed by this vacant lot, and I saw Norris and that new kid, Ben. They were throwing tennis balls at stray cats.

VERONICA: Uncool, but…I don’t get it.

PETE: [dramatically] The tennis balls were exploding.


Veronica closes her locker and waits as Wallace arrives and opens his.

VERONICA: Hey, last night, you said something. Am I really your best friend?

WALLACE: Who else you seeing around?

Veronica smiles broadly. Wallace doesn’t looks at her but smiles despite himself.

WALLACE: Quit smiling at me.

Veronica lets out a soft laugh. Looking beyond Wallace, she sees Ben and Norris.

VERONICA: Hey, what do you think of this new kid, Ben? Heard anything?

WALLACE: You’re unbelievable.

VERONICA: Why? What makes you say that?

WALLACE: ‘Cause you want me to go get his file, don’t you?

Veronica smiles guiltily.

WALLACE: You’re so predictable.

VERONICA: It’s for the greater good, Wallace. Doesn’t he look like total bomb threat material?

WALLACE: I’d check out his friend. Clemmons made him turn his shirt inside out.

VERONICA: Why? What’d it say?

WALLACE: “Kill ‘em all. Let God sort ‘em out.”

Wallace shuts his locker and leaves as Veronica continues to watch Ben and Norris.


Veronica is at a computer. She pulls up To the accompaniment of a demonic laugh, the screen shows a countdown.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Forty six hours, fifteen minutes…until what?


Wallace is at a table with some of the other basketball players. Veronica, at a table by herself, watches, in a bit of a hump. Duncan and Meg pass and on seeing Veronica, Meg brings them to a stop.

MEG: Veronica’s sitting by herself.

DUNCAN: No, Meg.

MEG: Come on, be nice.

Virtually dragging Duncan behind her, Meg approaches Veronica.

MEG: Hey, you mind if we…

VERONICA: Yeah, sit. Carlita, Biff, Rocco, make some room. Imaginary friends.

Meg sits next to Veronica. Duncan sits opposite Veronica but will not look at her and is clearly very unhappy.

MEG: So the whole school is talking about your article. You think the threats are real?

VERONICA: Let’s hope not. Ice cold fries, anyone?

Veronica smiles at Duncan who resolutely refuses to look at her or engage.

MEG: No, thanks. So, ar-are you working on any interesting cases with your father?

VERONICA: Well, that Maltese Falcon is still eluding us but-…I’m not allowed to talk about the cases. A confidentiality thing.

MEG: Duh. Course.

Meg laughs. Veronica looks over at Duncan and comes to a decision.

VERONICA: You know, there is one case that’s sort of interesting. I’ll just leave out the names. Successful entertainment attorney, divorced his wife, owed her like half a million dollars in alimony and child support money, literally erased himself off the face of the earth.

MEG: How do you go about doing that?

VERONICA: First, you get your hands on all the cash you can. Using cash is key. Ditch your cell phone for a pre-paid jobber, move around in a rental car paid for with a debit/credit card and a fake driver’s license, cross over the border if possible. If you’re really adventurous, you buy an old passport off eBay and do an extreme makeover on it.

DUNCAN: Excuse me.

Duncan picks up his books and walks away.

VERONICA: Ah, the shop talk buzz kill.

MEG: It’s not you. He’s been acting weird all day. Well, I’ll catch you later.

Meg exits. Veronica looks over to another table, where Norris and Ben are in deep conversation.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Ben and Norris. Is it possible these two are just biding their time, waiting for the moment they can blow the school sky high? Norris earned his reputation as a thug and bully back in junior high.


Post-Lilly, pre-rape Veronica stares at Duncan, sitting at an 09er table with Logan. A spitball lands on the book open in front of her. She brushes it away and looks at another 09er table next to Duncan’s from where the spitball has come. Another boy from that table blows another spitball, this one landing in her hair. She runs her fingers through her hair, trying to get rid of it.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: But, I have seen another side.

Norris approaches the 09er table. He takes the loaded straw of the one who last taunted Veronica and spits the ball into the 09er’s face. Norris drops the straw, leans over the table and glares. The 09er leaves. Norris looks over at Veronica and smiles a little. She responds in gratitude.



VERONICA VOICEOVER: So let’s check in, see where his head space is these days.

Veronica approaches Norris and Ben.

VERONICA: Hi. I’m doing a poll for the Neptune Navigator.

BEN: [sarcastic] Wow, how vital.

NORRIS: What’s the question?

VERONICA: Okay. World War III starts tomorrow. You can share your bomb shelter with three other people. Who would they be?

BEN: You know what? I actually think I’d be a casualty of war so I don’t think the question really applies to me.

NORRIS: Bruce Lee, Joe Strummer, Sam Kinison.

VERONICA: They’re all dead.

Norris cocks his eyebrows and Ben snorts..

VERONICA: Okay, “Other.”

Veronica writes on her pad.


Wallace catches up with Veronica.

WALLACE: You could have sat with me.

VERONICA: I thought you were making a point.

WALLACE: I wasn’t. There’s no school file on Ben.

VERONICA: Strange.

WALLACE: Maybe he’s too new.

Wallace pulls a file from under his jacket.

WALLACE: I got you Norris’ file.

VERONICA: You’re saintly.

WALLACE: I get the top bunk.

Veronica inspects the file. She frowns.

VERONICA: Suspended for violent behaviour a bunch in middle school but that’s what I thought. But nothing since high school.

WALLACE: Maybe he’s trying to keep his record clean. ‘Cause he’s planning something big.

VERONICA: That’s scary. [genuinely] Hey, Wallace, thanks. For what it’s worth, you’re my best friend too.

WALLACE: Hey, I’m glad you found your mom and got her some help. Should have told you that sooner.

VERONICA: I should have told you that sooner.

They bond.


Veronica enters the darkened room. Duncan is staring at a computer screen. He turns his head slightly to see who has entered and then turns back to looking at the screen. Veronica leans against the central table.

VERONICA: That was either a really poor warm welcome or an excellent cold shoulder.

DUNCAN: Logan told me you’ve been carrying on your own investigation of Lilly’s murder. That you have files of everyone in your computer.

VERONICA: That’s true.

DUNCAN: Is there a file on me?

VERONICA: There’s a file on everyone who was connected with Lilly.

DUNCAN: What does mine say?

He turns to look at her.

VERONICA: It says that you have Type IV epilepsy, that you have mood swings, violent outbursts, that you’re taking medication.

DUNCAN: How do you know that?

VERONICA: Doesn’t matter.

DUNCAN: It does matter.

He stands, extremely angry.

DUNCAN: You’ve been prying into my private life. If I wanted you or anyone else to know about that, I would have told them. Who the hell do you think you are?

Duncan storms off but doesn’t make it to the door before Veronica speaks.

VERONICA: I am Lilly’s best friend.

He turns back to look at her. Their voices are increasingly loud as they argue.

DUNCAN: Lilly is dead, her killer is in jail.

VERONICA: Abel Koontz didn’t kill Lilly.

DUNCAN: He confessed.

VERONICA: He was paid to confess.

DUNCAN: Oh my god. I mean, do you even hear yourself? Who would pay?

Duncan turns to go again but then stops as realisation strikes him.

DUNCAN: Us. Of course. You think someone in my family paid him. Now why would they do that, Veronica?

VERONICA: I don’t know.

DUNCAN: To protect…me?

Again he goes to leave the room until stopped short by Veronica’s next question.

VERONICA: Do you remember what happened that day?

He is slow to turn around.

DUNCAN: [quietly] You think I killed Lilly. [much louder, very angry and upset] How could you think that, even for a second?

Duncan has marched right up to Veronica.

VERONICA: Duncan, calm down.

DUNCAN: [screaming] What, do you think I’m gonna have another episode and kill you too?

Veronica is shocked but not more so than Duncan, who blinks and becomes confused and terrified. He runs out of the room.


Veronica, very thoughtful, comes back out to the lunch area. She can hear Norris and Ben having their own argument.

NORRIS: All you talk about is guns. All you’re talking about here is death, heavy metal music and bombs and stuff like that.

BEN: It’s no big deal. Just relax.

NORRIS: But I can’t keep hanging out with you if you’re gonna keep doing that.

BEN: Fine.


BEN: Fine.

Ben leaves Norris at the table. Veronica follows Ben.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: A girl must prioritise. Wallowing in the grief of betraying an ex-boyfriend or following the guy most likely to blow up Neptune High.

Ben gets in his car and Veronica hurries to get into hers.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Hell, give me a stick of gum to chew and I’ll do all three at once.

She pulls out.


Veronica sits in her parked car.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: The Camelot Motel, premium accommodations for adulterers and rent by the half-hour hookers. Now it appears to be the destination of choice for teen Kaczynski.

Veronica takes pictures as Ben comes out of the motel and gets in his car. She slides down in her seat as he passes her.


Ben has a trolley-load of fertilizer, heading for his car. He loads the back of his vehicle as Veronica watches and takes pictures. In the course of loading, Ben moves a large gun.


Veronica snaps away until her cell phone rings. She puts down the camera, glances at the caller ID and gives a wry grin.



During the call, the camera switches between them.

LOGAN: Hey, it’s Logan. Hey, uh, just a-a heads up for you. Duncan knows about your files.

VERONICA: He knows because you told him.

LOGAN: [uncomfortable but laughing] Well, yeah, I mean, what was I supposed to do? He’s my best friend.

VERONICA: Yeah, well, he took my head off. You would have loved it. Have you talked to him since school let out?


Veronica is startled by the sound of her passenger door opening. She gasps, seeing a gun in Ben’s belt and drops the phone.

VERONICA: [loudly] Oh my god, what do you think you’re doing?


Logan is still listening.

BEN: [offscreen] Let’s go for a ride.


Veronica’s car pulls out of the car park.


BEN: Make a left at the next stop.

VERONICA: Where are we going?

BEN: Well, you should know. You must have followed me there.

VERONICA: The Camelot?

BEN: Yep. I’ll say this, Veronica. You’re a pesky one. You’re screwing everything up.

VERONICA: Listen, I really think you’re making a mistake, I don’t know anything.

BEN: Quiet. I-I-I need to think for a minute.


Ben has a firm grip on Veronica’s arm. She is reluctant and he forces her up the steps to the balcony of the motel’s second level.

VERONICA: My dad’s a private detective. If I don’t check with him after school, he freaks. There will be people looking for me, armed people.

BEN: I wanna show you something.

Without slowing, Ben reaches into his back pocket.

VERONICA: Why can’t we do it someplace public? Frappacino anyone, my treat?

They reach the balcony, Ben still firmly holding Veronica.

BEN: I know you think you’re being a hero, but a lot of people might die ‘cause of you.

Logan, waiting at the top, behind the corner made by a room, punches Ben, who doesn’t see it coming. Ben goes down and Veronica is thrown forward. The wallet that Ben retrieved from his pocket is also thrown forward. As Logan grabs the supine Ben and punches him a couple more times, Veronica looks at the wallet.

VERONICA: Logan, stop.

Logan stops and Veronica holds out the wallet which is a badge.

VERONICA: He’s a federal agent.


In one of the rooms, Ben gingerly touches his jaw, seated on the bed. Logan watches him like a cat from the corner, flexing his fist. Ben looks at him and Logan, glancing in at Veronica wetting a towel in the bathroom, moves to another corner. Veronica comes out and hands the towel to Ben who holds it up to his busted lip.

VERONICA: You’re undercover at Neptune High?

BEN: Is it all right if he goes outside? I’d like to talk to you.

LOGAN: Dream on, Jump Street. I’m not leaving you alone with her.

Veronica walks over to Logan.

VERONICA: [softly] Logan, he’s the real thing. Just give us a minute, all right?

Logan looks a moment longer at Ben, a nasty smirk on his face, then complies.

LOGAN: Fine. Don’t close the door all the way. Yeah, I’ll be right out here.

Logan exits the room to wait on the balcony. Veronica closes the door behind him but leaves it open a little. She returns her attention to Ben.

VERONICA: So why Neptune?

BEN: Well, part of my job with the ATF is monitoring internet traffic. Norris kept a website that was…troubling. We discovered countless emails he’d sent to other students, lots of red-flag words.

VERONICA: Red-flag words?

BEN: Retribution, bomb, arsenal, gun show, fertilizer, Waco, Columbine. We think that he’s the leader of scores of likeminded misfits who are waiting for his signal to attack.

VERONICA: Is this signal a countdown clock?

Ben nods.

VERONICA: If he’s such a threat, why haven’t you brought him in yet? Having too much fun smarting off to teachers, cat killing, kidnapping.

BEN: Cat killing?

VERONICA: I hear things.

BEN: If there’s been any cat killing, Norris has acted solo. It makes sense though.

Ben stands and takes the towel back to the bathroom.

BEN: Sociopaths normally get their start taking out their aggression on animals.

VERONICA: Why don’t you just pick him up?

Ben leans against the bathroom door, arms folded.

BEN: Oh, I will bust him. Be sure of that. I’ve got more arrests on my record than any ATF agent my age, ever. Failure’s not an option.


BEN: Problem. If we pick him up now, we can hold him for 48 hours, then we either have to charge him or release him. Now I either need evidence that he’s hoarding banned weapons or I need to get my hands on the list of the names of the people he’s been corresponding with.

VERONICA: Why are you telling me all this?

Ben fingers his jaw.

BEN: I need your help. I need you to get close to him.

VERONICA: Isn’t that your job?

BEN: I pushed him too hard. Spooked him. Now I’m screwed if I don’t get him off the streets by tomorrow. I’ve been to his house but I haven’t been in his bedroom or the garage.

VERONICA: And how do you expect me to swing an invitation to his bedroom and/or his garage?

BEN: Easy. He likes you.

VERONICA: He likes me? “Likes me” likes me?

Ben comes into the room and stops in front of Veronica.

BEN: Yeah, he’s mentioned it on more than an few occasions. Veronica, your school needs your help.

Veronica looks sceptical.

BEN: Your government needs your help. If you need an in, he loves talking about his ancient weapon collection.

Music: Momentary Thing by Something Happens.


From outside the room, the door opens and Veronica steps out onto the balcony. Veronica pulls the door to behind her. She walks up to the waiting Logan, the look on her face soft and grateful.

LOGAN: You okay.


She stands in front of Logan and he leans back against the wall. She pauses and the lyrics kick in.

LYRICS: She’s cutting off her hair again

Veronica leans forward to kiss him. Whatever she intended, she actually kisses him on the corner of his mouth and Logan instinctively puckers his lips, surprised. He straightens, staring down at her intently. Veronica, equally surprised, stares back and then shakes her head in disbelief at what she has done.

LYRICS: Says “This is all of me.”

Veronica turns to walk away. Logan reaches out and takes her arm and as she spins round, he lowers his head to kiss her. She meets him in a long, hard, passionate kiss, their arms pulling each other close, their hands uncertain, the full length of their bodies leaning into each other. The music swells.

LYRICS: After all, well, isn't this just a momentary thing
It's not like it's permanent or any heavy thing

They break the kiss and for a brief moment continue to hold each other. They part a little further, Veronica’s face is a mix of wonder and disbelief, while Logan’s eyes dart over her features.

LYRICS: Shook me up, I guess, I guess, I guess

Logan’s hands are on Veronica’s waist and as he starts to gently circle his hands, the movement seems to alert him to the uncertainty of her reaction and he drops his hands awkwardly. Veronica is brought to her senses by this and turns, hurrying away. Logan nearly takes a step forward to follow before thinking better of it, but his eyes never leave her as she makes her way down to her car.

LYRICS: Stirring me up, yes, yes, yes

At the car, Veronica pauses, looking up at Logan whose stare has lost none of its intensity. With something between a shiver, a shudder and a shrug, Veronica gets in her car and drives out of the motel, Logan gazing after her.

LYRICS: ‘Cause we'll get along, yeah, we'll get along-

End music: Momentary Things by Something Happens.


Veronica exits her car in front of a modest house. She goes up to the door.


In the hallway of Norris’ home, he and Veronica head for his bedroom.

VERONICA: Thanks for doing this, Norris. My dad’s really been struggling with this case.

NORRIS: It’s no problem at all.

VERONICA: I brought some pictures of the stolen weapons if that helps.

Veronica is startled to see that Norris’ bedroom door is padlocked. He unlocks it.

NORRIS: My parents are a little nosy.

VERONICA: It’s probably more effective than the “Mind Your Own Beeswax” sign I have on my door. Although it does have a picture of an angry kitty on it.

Veronica wrinkles her nose and pulls her hand into a claw. It’s lame and she knows it. Norris gets the door open and they both enter his room. A life sized poster of Bruce Lee graces the door. He has weapons all over the room, on the walls, on display stands, leaning against bookcases. Veronica’s eyes widen.

NORRIS: So, this is my weapon collection.

VERONICA: You must feel really safe at night, when the dragons come.

They both makes small laughs.

VERONICA: Uh, here are the pictures.

Veronica hands Norris a photo album.

NORRIS: Do you, uh, wanna sit down?

VERONICA: Are you kidding? I wanna look at these weapons. They’re so pointy.

Norris sits down at his desk, in front of his laptop. He pulls up a page: Dragon Slayer. Veronica is looking at a long sword leaning against the bookcase.

VERONICA: This one’s very “Braveheart”.

NORRIS: [chuffed at her recognition] That’s a replica of William Wallace’s sword. I’ve seen that movie like 50 times.

VERONICA: A-anything you recognise?

NORRIS: Yeah, the Tachi Sword. I’ll write down the price.

Veronica notices his computer.

VERONICA: Is that wireless?

NORRIS: Yeah. My dad’s a programmer over at Kane Software, so we get all the latest technology. We were one of the first household in the country to have Wi-Fi.

Norris indicates one of the pictures in the album Veronica produced.

NORRIS: I have a replica of this.

He points to an empty space on the wall behind him.

NORRIS: It’s, uh, it was right over there but I think it-I think it fell.

VERONICA: I’ll look for it.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Now if I were a pipe bomb, where would I be?

Veronica moves to the wall against which Norris’ bed rests. She bends down and feels under the bed. She pulls out a magazine. Taut Blonde.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Great! I’m his type.

She quickly pushes it back under the bed just as it occurs to Norris that he might have things that he wouldn’t want her to see. He turns to look at her.

NORRIS: Ah, actually, don’t even worry, I’ll find it later.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Maybe he keeps his arsenal in the garage. So how do I get into the garage without playing dungeon with this whack job?

Veronica picks up a throwing star.

NORRIS: Uh, you ever throw one?

VERONICA: Can’t say that I have.

NORRIS: I got a target in the garage if you wanna try it.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Huh. That was easy. I think it, it happens.

Veronica smiles and nods. Norris is thrilled by her interest. Cut to the garage. Veronica is poised to throw the star.

VERONICA: Detention? Me? I think not, Mr Clemmons.

She throws. The star hits the hand of a target.

VERONICA: Try filling out that form left-handed. How come these are rubber?

NORRIS: Um, they’re just for practice. Next time, I’ll let you try a real one.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Am I crazy or is bomb boy flirting with me?

VERONICA: No question about it, the Japanese have the coolest weapons.

Veronica spots a chest at the side of the garage and opens it.

VERONICA: Shall I just put these in here?

Scarily approaching her, Norris looms over her.

NORRIS: No, you can just hand them back to me. [happily] My dad said that if I keep my grades up, I can tour Japan this summer. You know there’s a Kurosawa retrospective over at the Paragon this weekend. You think, maybe you’d like to go? [on Veronica’s stare] It’s cool. It can just be like…a friends thing.

Veronica smiles and nods.


Veronica is back in her car.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Okay, I came up empty on the weapons search but there’s one place I can check for his address book.

Veronica uses her laptop (?so what did she give Mac?).

VERONICA VOICEOVER: If I can access the Clayton family wireless system from out here, I’m gold.

Veronica manages to link to the Clayton Wi-Fi.

VERONICA: [a la Mr Burns] Exxxxcellent.

She grabs her cell and punches in a number.

MAC: [offscreen] Hello?

VERONICA: Hey, Mac, it’s me. I need you to walk me through something.


The camera switches between the two of them.

MAC: What did you ever do before you met me?

VERONICA: Ever see the first ten minutes of “2001: A Space Odyssey”? It was a lot like that.

Mac smiles but does not respond.

VERONICA: [explaining further] Monkeys clubbing each other-

MAC: No, I…I got it.

VERONICA: Mac, if you were planning the Apocalypse on a Friday, would you ask someone out on a date for that weekend?

MAC: Me? That’s the only way I’d ask someone out.

Veronica spots Pete, heading for the house next door to Norris’.

MAC: [offscreen] Veronica?

Pete turns and spots Veronica.

MAC: [offscreen] Earth to Mars.

Pete waves and Veronica gives a small wave back. She is thinking.

MAC: [offscreen] Dude, where’d you go?

Pete enters his house.


Veronica has some school records spread on the desk in her bedroom. She is using the phone.

VERONICA: [urgently] Norris, pick up, pick up, pick up. It’s Veronica. [pause] Okay. If you get this, call me before tomorrow.

Veronica opens her laptop. The demonic laugh rings out for the page, the countdown showing 18 hours, 8 minutes and 34 seconds.


Veronica exits her car. Norris has also just arrived.

NORRIS: Hey. I got your message late.

VERONICA: Listen, something’s up. Ben isn’t who he says he is and he thinks you’re behind the bomb threats.

As Veronica talks, a blacked out SUV pulls up behind him. Agents get out. From behind Veronica, Ben gets out of a parked car.

BEN: Don’t move. Put your hands where I can see ‘em. Drop the keys.

Norris stretches out his arms and drops his keys.

VERONICA: This is crazy, you have the wrong guy. It’s a joke. A hoax.

BEN: I have a warrant to search your vehicle.

NORRIS: Fine. Search away.

One of the ATF agents picks up the keys and opens the boot of Norris’ car. It is full of bags of fertilizer, a large gun resting on top.

AGENT: There you go.

Ben looks at Veronica in triumph.

BEN: A hoax, huh?

NORRIS: That’s not my stuff, man.

BEN: Cuff him.

NORRIS: He lying, that’s not my stuff.

The agents circled round Ben move in.

AGENT: Hands behind your back.

NORRIS: I didn’t do this.

VERONICA: You set him up?

BEN: Step back, please. [louder, to the crowd] People, this is a crime scene.

Veronica gets out her camera as Norris is led into the SUV, shouting his innocence.

NORRIS: He’s lying to you.

Veronica takes pictures of events.


Veronica is at a computer, flipping through her photos.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Agent Ben used me. I know it. Ten to one he planted the rifle and fertilizer in Norris’ trunk while I was inside playing with throwing stars. All I need to do is prove it.

She comes across the pictures of Ben loading his car with fertilizer.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Gro-Time Fertilizer?

Ms Stafford walks into the room as Veronica uses her phone.

PETE: Hello.

VERONICA: Pete Kamiski please.

PETE: Speaking.

VERONICA: Pete, it’s Veronica Mars. Got a minute?

PETE: Yes, yeah.

VERONICA: Tomorrow, we’ll be publishing a story in the Navigator that says you created false internet traffic through Norris Clayton’s wireless internet, accessible to you because you reside within a hundred feet of the Clayton house.

PETE: What?

VERONICA: The story goes on to say that you created the Killemall dot net website with its countdown clock and called in the bomb threats to the school in order to implicate Norris, even though there was never an actual bomb. Additionally, you lied to this reporter about Norris and a young ATF agent killing stray cats. Would you care to comment on this story?

Pete splutters.

PETE: Are you crazy? Do you think this is something I just do for kicks?

VERONICA: You did it because you were the frequent victim of Norris’ bullying you in junior high. He was expelled once for holding you down and letting a tarantula crawl across your face in earth science and again for taking your lunch money.

There is a long pause.

VERONICA: Pete, still there?

PETE: Every day.

VERONICA: Excuse me?

PETE: He took my lunch money every day before we got on the bus.
For two years I scrounged off my friend’s plates. I finally told my dad. You know what he said? He said, “Be a man. Just pop him in the mouth once, son, and he’ll back off.” So I did. I popped him. Norris sent me to the hospital. You wanna know what my dad said then?


PETE: He said he’d wished he’d had a son.

Pete hangs up and Veronica sadly puts down the phone.

MEG: Veronica?

Veronica turns and sees Meg at the door. She gets up and follows Meg out into the corridor.


Meg is tearful.

VERONICA: Meg, what’s wrong?

MEG: You haven’t seen Duncan tonight, have you?

VERONICA: No. He never showed…which is weird.

MEG: He’s missing. His parents think he may have run away.

VERONICA: What? Why would they think that?

MEG: His mother says that yesterday he withdrew ten thousand in cash from the bank. No one’s seen him since.

VERONICA: That’s…bizarre.

MEG: Yeah. I don’t understand it, I mean, what would make him do that?

Veronica doesn’t know what to say.


Veronica and Ms Stafford confer.

MS STAFFORD: So the ATF agent set him up?

VERONICA: The photos show clearly that the same fertilizer bags I saw the agent purchase were the ones found in Norris’ car and the same with the rifle.

MS STAFFORD: Well, I guess we have no choice but to print it, do we?

VERONICA: I was thinking about that. Maybe I could take this story down to the city paper, see if they’ll publish it or maybe just put it on a website.

MS STAFFORD: What fun would that be?

They smile at each other.


Wallace reads the Navigator, the headline of which reads: Bomb Threat Hoax: ATF Arrests Wrong Student. He drops the paper and joins Veronica walking down the hall.

WALLACE: In case you were wondering, Mr Clemmons? Not pleased.

VERONICA: I’ve lost sleep over it.

WALLACE: Did you have to mention Norris’ school records? Someone could have put two and two together.

VERONICA: They will have to really speak sharply to me before I reveal my sources.

Wallace laughs as Veronica heads into the journalism classroom.


As she enters, Veronica’s smile fades and she stops short when she sees Logan. They hold each other’s gaze for a long moment until Logan breaks it by looking down. He looks up at her again. Veronica is not giving anything away. Ms Stafford walks into the classroom.

MS STAFFORD: Listen up everybody, I have an announcement.

Veronica pulls her gaze from Logan and walks along the wall of the classroom, looking now at Ms Stafford at the front.

MS STAFFORD: I just heard that Norris Clayton is being released later today.

Veronica casts another glance at Logan before resting against one of the side desks. Logan sits at the large central table, watching Ms Stafford.

MS STAFFORD: The charges have been dropped thanks to a certain high school newspaper’s front page story.

Veronica sneaks another look at Logan.

MS STAFFORD: [sadly] And I’m sorry to report that today is my last day teaching at Neptune High.

Veronica is deeply affected by this announcement.

MS STAFFORD: It’s been a real kick working with all of you.

Ms Stafford looks directly at Veronica, who smiles in response, showing genuine respect.

MS STAFFORD: Now, I’d appreciate it if you could work independently. Your sub will arrive shortly.

She collects her papers and leaves the room.


The camera follows Ms Stafford out into the hallway. Behind her, she hears Veronica’s voice from the open classroom door.

VERONICA: Okay buckaroos, we’re burning daylight in here. We need stories. Who’s got something?

Ms Stafford grins. End. Executive producer: Rob Thomas (who is a god).

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